This post is part of Sophie Keller's "How Happy Is" series on The Huffington Post. This week, Sophie offers marriage advice:
Much of what makes a marriage happy is not the big things, but how you interact on a day-to-day basis. It's those small acts of kindness that we do for each other daily that really count, more than the grand gestures. Make small gestures, and make them often. To do so, you need to be conscious of the other person at all times and give to him when you are together. One way to do this is to think what you would like him to do for you and then do it for him. Would you like him to hold your hand? Hold his. Would you like him to make you a cup of tea? Make him one. Would you like him to butter your toast? Butter his. Imagine that you are him and step into his shoes; this will help you to become more thoughtful. These small acts of kindness will encourage your partner to give back to you, and as a result, your relationship will benefit from the little things.
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But getting the kids off in the morning lets her rest, which is particularly valuable when she isn't feeling well.
This gesture is not returned.
Suggestions?
1. Get a new husband
"Only weak women would be so subservient!"
"Thoughtful" doesn't equate to "subservient." I know how he takes his tea and he knows how I like mine. He knows my favorite coffee mug. I know he doesn't like his wine glass to be over half-full (or under one-quarter, haha). He knows I won't eat as much soup as he will, so the bigger bowl is logical for him to have. We email each other links to things the other will find interesting, funny, or cute. I know he likes sandwiches with the heel of the bread loaf. And we act on this stuff! The point is that these things are supposed to be MUTUAL. We bring each other morning coffee and refill each others' glasses. And those little things do really add up.