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Soraya Chemaly

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Ann Or Hilary: Either Way, Motherhood Is a Dismal Financial Decision for American Women

Posted: 04/13/2012 5:04 pm

BREAKING NEWS GUYS: It is "arguable" that one of the single worst financial decisions a woman can make in this country is to become a mother. Regardless of whether she gets paid for work that she does. And one of the most disastrous economic growth policies governments can pursue is to impede women's ability to plan their families and be paid fairly for their participation in the labor force. And yet this is exactly what the Republican party is dedicated to doing. The result of "secondary" in importance "social issues" is to ensure that stay-at-home or not, women pay and pay and pay for their reproductive choices or lack thereof.

Today's cynical Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney "Gasp!" is nothing more than this week's politically flavored sexist-media-loves-a-"cat"-fight. What is "working woman" versus "stay-at-home" code for? For the most part it is code for "what is a woman's relationship to a man and what is his earning potential?" It's a paternalistic, sexist framework that subordinates women either way.

That's why this is not about a mommy war. It's about keeping women dependent, especially by DEvaluing the work of women who are mothers and caretakers (in and out of the home) -- their time, their labor, their productivity -- by making balancing work and family as hard as possible. It's the way we penalize women for taking on the bulk of our society's reproduction responsibilities while simultaneously telling them "it's the most important job in the world."

You want to create jobs, stimulate and grow the economy? Stop harassing and penalizing women seeking independence and financial security. Allow people to plan their families and create systematized, institutional and cultural approaches to work/life balance for both men and women.

What I am not hearing anyone say loudly and clearly in this Rosen/Romney snafu is that women's ability -- not desire or choice -- to take part in the economy, to be productive in the economy, to help stimulate the economy is based on her freedom to make reproductive decisions or lack thereof and on the more active, unpunished by culture, participation of men in child care.

Motherhood in America , taking place as it does in a vacuum of cultural, corporate and governmental support, and idealized as part of a paternalistic, heterosexual and gender-hierarchical social structure, is why women -- most of whom have to earn a living either as supplemental or primary -- have to stop working, work part-time, and cycle in and out of the work force. It's why we have a debilitating gender pay gap -- really a maternal pay gap when you examine it closely -- and why women make up the majority of the poor.

Consider these facts:

  • Women make up more than 50 percent of the American workforce.

  • 40 percent of wives earn more than their husbands.

  • Women are more and more often heads of households, now 22 percent.

  • The highest earning window for women, practically the only time they are not subject to the wage gap, is when they are single and childless, usually in their twenties. They have to live in cities and have gone to college.

  • More than 50 percent of children born to women under 30 are born to single mothers.

  • 60 percent of women with children under the age of three and 77 percent of mothers with school-age children remain in the workforce.

  • When a woman has a baby, her chances of being hired go down, compared to a single woman, by 44 percent.

  • When a woman has a child her pay drops by 11 percent.

  • According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, mothers works fewer hours, have to work part time more and cannot take on overtime.

  • Fully 55 percent of stay at home moms would like to work, for pay, out of the home.

  • Working mothers are penalized in terms of long-term success by having to work in an interrupted fashion that perpetually erodes their career tenures or experiences.

  • The distribution of retirement income is gendered and unbalanced.

  • If a woman "chooses" to be a stay at home mom, because entrenched pay discrepancy, cultural habits and a gender segregated workforce make that "choice" the most logical and financially rational, she is not compensated, either through pay or benefits, for her investment of time and effort and risks her long term financial security.
  • This is why money is not "more important to men" and why bickering about mommy wars is a red herring. Ignoring demographic trends because they erode your privileges (which is different from being oppressive) does not make them go away.

    Mitt Romney and Republican legislators would like us to focus on what really matters to women. Ann Romney, because apparently women are either a different species or speak a form of English that Mitt et al. cannot understand in their particular female-deaf form of manliness, has assured them that, based on what she is hearing, it's "the economy." So -- let's talk about women, work and the economy.

    First, women's work is often invisible and unpaid. Let's pretend that Ann Romney is, like the 143 million other women in the country, not the wife of a multimillionaire Mormon Bishop and talk about her unpaid work as a stay-at-home mom. According to the Wall Street Journal, an average housewife would make $138,095 if she were paid for her labor (that is what she would have to pay someone else). Ann Romney is not your average housewife, but, let's go with it. Ann Romney's lost wages for 30 years of providing 24 hour unpaid childcare for her husband, running a household, nursing sick children, being a chauffeur, food shopping, cooking, being executive assistant to six boys and men and other assorted duties is $4,142,850. She also did this, graciously, while struggling with major illness. Ann Romney, like all "non-working" mothers, is not financially compensated for her labor. (She is however, also like other married women who work, taxed for her efforts.) Many women in this position are thought of as parasites and a net drag by abusive husbands. In addition, Romney gave up any hope of related benefits for social security, for example, and put her trust in Mitt Romney's long-term good graces. For women involved in the 50 percent of marriages that will end in divorce, however, this is a terrible economic scenario. For unmarried women or those depending on dual incomes to survive, this is also not an option. For women not married to a multi-millionaire Mormon bishop -- that would be well over 99 percent of the 142 million of the rest of us -- the real costs of being an unpaid, full-time, hard-working stay-at-home mom is too high. I don't begrudge Ann Romney her choice. She has not only put her financial well being but also her salvation into Mitt Romney's hands. But that is not either available or desirable to the overwhelming majority of women.

    Second, family planning is the key to financial survival and security. Around 50 percent of pregnancies currently in the U.S. are unplanned (it's a side effect of not teaching people how they get pregnant). Why do women seek abortions? Studies have shown that it's because they have families and are more often than not financially strapped, tired, responsible for children and/or other family members, trying to improve their lot in life. It is because pregnancy and motherhood affects a woman's health and healthcare costs, child and child-care related expenses, her pursuit of higher education, her ability to work productively and for financial gain, her ability to parent other children, her chances of relying on the state help for support and her risk of long-term poverty. You know what the real entitlement program I worry about is? The fact that the reproductive control experiences of the people advocating anti-family friendly policies is primarily limited to the changing of the temperature of their tighty-whiteys.

    You know what the opposite of PLANNED parenthood is, UNPLANNED parenthood. And you know what that costs to women, families, the government, and "the important economy" will be when they increase as they will if the Republican Party leadership has its way with women?

    • More unplanned pregnancies than virtually anywhere else in the industrialized world
    • An increase in abortions (whether safe and legal or not)
    • Decreased maternal health
    • Decreased relationship stability
    • Lower educational aspirations and accomplishments for women and their children, impaired female workforce participation
    • Increased health care costs related to poor prenatal and neonatal care
    • Increases in welfare program participation
    • Higher maternal death rates.

    It is safe to assume that unplanned pregnancies and reduced maternal health have the effect of
    reducing women's workforce participation and reducing the social and economic status of women and children with all kinds of impacts on market stimulation, economic growth and government spending. By the way, poor, sick, tired and dead women cannot contribute to what is "really important" -- that would be "the economy."

    Third, gender equality, which requires reproductive freedom, justice and autonomy for women, means INCREASED ECONOMIC ACTIVITY. Women's ability to plan and manage their pregnancies -- with or without men -- spurs economic growth. This is true all over the world. Countries with high gender equity indices usually have stronger economies because they understand the value of the human capital that women represent. As noted here, "In mature economies, attitudes toward gender equality and the actual possibilities for combining parenthood with gainful employment are decisive. Countries governed by traditional male-dominant attitudes run the risk of long-term economic stagnation."

    If you do not support a woman's right to choose when to become a mother, and you actively seek to deny her reproductive health options and reduce her ability to be paid fairly for her work, then you actively work against economic growth and prosperity, for individuals, families and the country. If you insist on modeling economic policy on an outdated, sluggish, pater-familia model then you will get an outdated, sluggish mater-familia bashing economy. The "less important social issue" policies -- "getting rid" of Planned Parenthood, eliminating abortion, reducing access to contraception and affordable healthcare, abstinence-only miseducation, and more -- through which Mitt Romney and the Republican party are eliminating women's options (and therefore their families options) are an ECONOMIC DISASTER.

    In these ways Mitt Romney and the Republican party are committed to infringing on all women's ability to live freely and healthily and to making sure that women continue to be penalized for their maternity to the detriment of families and THE ECONOMY.

     

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    BREAKING NEWS GUYS: It is "arguable" that one of the single worst financial decisions a woman can make in this country is to become a mother. Regardless of whether she gets paid for work that she doe...
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    normandie
    12:26 PM on 05/23/2012
    I love Soraya Chemaly. I want to shop at the Soraya Chemaly store. I adore everything she's ever written for HuffPo. This has been a fangirl post
    01:49 PM on 05/22/2012
    These issues are between women and their government husband....they are none of men's concern.
    01:29 PM on 05/22/2012
    What is it that you want lady? What is it that you are asking for? Women need to be independent and self supporting. Children should be cared for by the government or women should be supported and paid by their government husband. Either way this stuff is women's problem not men's. Women are responsible for their own children and their own families. Men and our families have no concern for yours.
    01:26 PM on 05/22/2012
    Sometimes I just don't get it.

    My BIL&SIL spend vastly over their income. They then have to work so hard to pay off those UNNECESSARY bills that they throw their 1 and 3-yr-old into daycare 50 hrs a week. Also, while they can afford to spend all their money on clothes, games, and computers, they ask for $$ every month for daycare!!! From my husband's mom (kid's paternal grandma)!!!

    Why do people spend $ they don't have and STILL CONTINUE THE CYCLE?!

    And these aren't young marrieds or anything, the husband is going to be 30 and the wife 27!

    I guess what I'm saying is; yes, it is often financially hard to have children. However, why have them if all you do is give them to someone else to care for?

    I don't disagree with daycare in general, but 50 hours a week because THE PARENTS can't curb their spending habits is wrong, no?
    01:16 PM on 05/22/2012
    Women should be supported by the government and so should their kids. Women are not men's problem. You should turn your children over to government paid child care facilities from birth.
    05:07 PM on 04/26/2012
    Your underlying assumption that money is the end-all be-all and that women can only be fulfilled by that is fundamentally and totally flawed.
    10:42 AM on 04/21/2012
    Warren Farrell, three-time board of directors member of the National Organization for Women New York City, exhaustively debunks the wage gap myth in his book "Why Men Earn More." Farrell documents occupations requiring bachelor's degrees in which women's starting salaries actually exceed men's.

    Equal pay for equal work has been enforced by the Equal Employment Opportunity Act since it was made law in 1972. The Equal Pay Act of 1963 and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 also ban sex-based wage discrimination. So it seems pretty remarkable that the wage gap is so wide and pervasive even today. Attorneys should be having a field day with class-action lawsuits. But they are not. Could it be that even the legal establishment is complicit in this glaringly obvious patriarchal conspiracy? Study after study has debunked the pay scale difference.
    03:01 PM on 04/18/2012
    As a dad who has a son who lives with me full time, I find your presumtions somewhat sexist. My mother raised me and my brother without any financial help from my father and she greatly surpassed his earnings. She did that by taking a second job in addition to being a school teacher. Opportunities were available so she took them and she was successful. Motherhood is not a "dismal financial decision" in fact it is not a financial decision at all. Looking at it that way is part of the problem. Kids are expensive if you are a man or a woman, but the love and friendship they provide and the satisfaction of seeing them happy and doing well greatly outwieghs the finacial cost.
    08:09 PM on 04/24/2012
    Absolutely. I have given up a lot of professional growth and potential earnings to raise my kids 1/2 time, but this sum pales next to the value of the "currency" of seeing my kids flourish because they have a father in their lives, despite the machinations of their mother and the family court system.
    03:38 AM on 04/18/2012
    Aren't there men out there whose hard-earned dollars can be confiscated and given to stay at home moms after they get bored with their marriages and don't really want to work? Oh yeah.....
    06:03 PM on 04/17/2012
    Nice, thank you for putting this topic into perspective rather than attempting to turn it into a class war.
    This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
    02:30 PM on 04/17/2012
    It really comes down to priorities. For us as a family staying at home was the best choice and a job that we are most proud of when we see the accomplishments of our children. It did come with hardships, but it was worth it. The trends seems to be swinging back toward staying at home with children because of the huge financial cost of day care, etc.
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    Yellowcab
    100 % Cotton
    10:31 AM on 04/17/2012
    Having children is a fianancial disaster for men as well - especially if they didn't CHOOSE to be a parent, but had that decision handed to them in a court summons.

    It's about CHOICE, you see.

    If you CHOSE to have a child you really shouldn't complain when things don't go against nature and reality to accomodate your other CHOICES.

    The only "victims" here are those who DIDN'T get to choose.
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    lnedykstra
    Calling a spade a spade!
    01:53 PM on 04/17/2012
    Like men who "chose" to have unprotected sex? Were they not aware of the consequences?
    11:33 PM on 04/17/2012
    exactly Inedykstra. In the words of Jeremy Kyle, 'why didn't you put something on the end of it then?!' hehehe
    10:32 AM on 04/21/2012
    Like women who "chose" to have unprotected sex. Where they not aware of the consequences, however a woman has a CHOSE to abort the unwanted chil, The man doesn't. I notice how you forgot to mention that.
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    laurieanichols
    je pense donc, je suis
    10:29 AM on 04/17/2012
    This is the article that should be quoted by women everywhere. It is sad when sitcom writers incorporate the difference in pay between men and women into their comedies. It is especially sad that women have wanted to believe that much of entry into the workforce was through our own choice, when fundamentally it was through economic necessity because wages have been stagnant for 40 years. If women had realized that at the get go perhaps we could have been more proactive through these 4 decades by fighting harder for better pay, better maternal care better everything. We are playing catch up but 40 years of catch up feels like a monumental task. The make up of congress doesn't put the battle in our favor, women are severely under-represented. I would love to look over at Europe to point out their progressive outlook towards women in general, but with the austerity policies in full swing, all the workplace support programs for mothers and fathers may fall by the wayside, I hope not. For now it is much easier to be a woman in countries like France than it is here.
    01:29 AM on 04/17/2012
    Soraya, finally someone writing about what I've been saying for years! As for the woman hating/oppressing/dictatorial Repubs, just wait, I wouldn't be surprised if their next step will be to take away women's voting rights and make us wear burkha like attire. I spent 18 years of my life in Scandinavia and the issues in this country, health care, equality ( as in "all men-mankind are created equal"...) the environment, birth control etc. are way more progressive and humane than here. Also their economies are better than here, "in spite of" universal health care, environmental policies, worker friendly employment, more equality between men and women, child care etc. I thought all that's going on today was resolved in the 1900's but I guess oppression never stops rearing its ugly head! We need a world in balance, a world where all humans are respected as well as this precious earth on which we are guests and we need to educate ourselves-ignorance is the biggest sin because it causes fanaticism, hatred and ultimately violence, war and destruction. So all you who claim to be Christians, practice what the Christ taught, Love, Caring for the poor and underprivileged, Sharing, Turning the other cheek, Peace and basically acting like Humans with divine potential not like selfish Neanderthals! Peace and Love all!
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    giftsthatpurr
    zestful life
    03:11 PM on 04/17/2012
    f/f
    This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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    Iris Silver
    Coincidence or synchronicity? You decide.
    03:54 PM on 04/17/2012
    Hey, giftsthatpurr, nice to see you back.
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    Mac Howard
    Thank god we got convicts, you got the puritans
    01:26 AM on 04/17/2012
    I come over to huffpost each morning and every so often I read something that causes me to roll my eyes at the backward nature of this society. Most first world societies now understand:

    1) that women are a crucial half of the workforce
    2) that women with children supply the tax payers of the future and should be encouraged
    3) that it is very expensive to bring up children.

    Consequently, here in Australia, the government self-servingly:

    1) gives $5000 when a child is born
    2) pays a mother the minimum wage of $550 per week for 6 months if she stays at home with the child (can be transferred to a stay-at-home husband)
    3) requires her employer (above a certain number of employees) to retain her/his job during this period
    4) subsidises day care costs and makes them tax deductible
    5) pays "child benefit" for each child of several hundred dollars a week based on income

    This is not "socialism" - the right wing party demands the 6 month payment should be the woman's prior wage rate up to $150,000 a year (ie $75,000 for the 6 months) and wants the child care subsidies to apply to "nannies" - even family members - who look after pre-school children while the mother works.

    It's not just about valuing motherhood but ensuring a fully employed work force, including women, and increasing the future tax-payer numbers to fund the increasing health and welfare demands because of an aging population.
    This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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    Iris Silver
    Coincidence or synchronicity? You decide.
    03:56 PM on 04/17/2012
    I would fan you again, Mac, if I could. Thanks for giving us another perspective. Faved.
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    HUFFPOST SUPER USER
    Jo Kennedy
    10:55 PM on 04/17/2012
    Thank you! I am from the UK, my husband the US. When I had my daughter in the US my family and friends in the UK were just mortified that 2 weeks after her birth I was working from home. As for the tax deductions for childcare here - they are a joke. My husband is self-employed and we may not be able deduct child care next year - we only squeaked by this year because he was still a student for part of the year.
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    Mac Howard
    Thank god we got convicts, you got the puritans
    06:26 PM on 04/18/2012
    In fairness some of these features are relatively recent - the $5000 "baby bonus" for example - but what pleases me about the system is that it arises from a recognition that bringing up children is a VERY expensive process. And, while it is true that there are significant rewards in the children themselves - I have a 16 year old daughter that's a joy - there is significant financial disincentive to avoid having children and not the least being the impact on the loss of the mother's job.

    About ten years ago the problem was highlighted when the then right-wing government removed the daycare subsidy but quickly found that women dropped out of work as they saw their income savaged by daycare costs. Despite increasing daycare prices the operations themselves ran into financial trouble and when the largest nationwide daycare company collapsed the error was recognised and, not only corrected, but it was the same government that introduced the "baby bonus" in recognition of the impact finance has on the number of working mothers.

    Interesting what an effect an obvious impact on self-interest can have :)