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Soraya Chemaly

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March Because "Equal Enough" for Women Is Unacceptable

Posted: 04/27/2012 9:00 am

American women need to be recognized as full citizens. Yes, women in this country. It's me again, sitting in my office, by myself, saying that "equal enough" is NOT. But, I am not alone.

Tomorrow, Saturday, April 28th, thousands of women and men will participate in 53 marches and rallies for women's rights in 45 states and the District of Columbia. These events are part of UNITEWOMEN.ORG movement against the War on Women. In truth, I don't care what the sustained legislative assault on women's rights by the Republican party is called. Nor do I care, actually, for the Unitewomen moniker, because although I am happy for anything that offsets a cultural preference to portray women as enemies, I believe that men and women who understand the importance and benefits of equality must work together. However, I agree wholeheartedly with UNITEWOMEN.ORG's goals and intent. If you are not joining them, you should ask yourself why and consider doing it.

Why should you march?

Because women's and girls' fundamental rights, to privacy, to life, to bodily integrity, to chose when to plan their reproduction are being violated.

Because women can't afford to nor should be forced to live their lives according to rules that assume they are dependent on men.

Because women and girls should not be punished, denigrated and publicly humiliated for speaking civilly and intelligently in their own interest or making their own choices.

Because boys and girls should be taught what equality, not entitlement, means.

Without fail, when I talk to people about gender inequality in the United States, someone inevitably says some variation of this: "Compared to other women, women here are equal enough." First of all, women are not in competition with other women for safety from violence and freedom. Second, this type of comparison, with its echo of threat, is an unacceptable and irrelevant framework for considering citizenship and protection under the law. Women are citizens and should have the full rights and privileges of citizens.

We should. But we don't.

If you are uncertain about what I am saying and think I am exaggerating the harm, consider the effect of one distillation of events: the degree to which the conservative "political" agenda requires that all women, regardless of color, faith, economic status or sexual preference, seek men's review and approval before acting. (Those factors, race, economic status, sexual preference magnify the effect.) "Informed consent, " "permission slips," wage policies determined because "money may be more important to men," "man-up finances," women's health care being determined by all-male religious leaders and congressional panels, refusal to reauthorize the Violence Against Women Act because of homophobia (and racism). On and on and one: every time the baseline requirement for women to exercise their rights and live freely is the intervention and approval of men. This is not just unfair to girls and women, but imposes unreasonable responsibilities and pressures on boys and men.

Even the phrasing of hot button issues -- "Mommy Wars" and "Slutgate" -- are coded conversations that define women, their health, their choices and their incomes primarily in terms of their relationships to men. Those frameworks are unacceptable. These attempts to legislate the subordination of women are not just distasteful and embarrassing but designed ultimately to humiliate women and keep them in their place.

TO BE CLEAR: This is not a man-bashing exercise. I do not hate men. I hate inequality and oppression. This is about men and women being mutually central as humans and, together, fighting systematized biases against girls' and women's full engagement with the world.

All over the world women seek equality. Men and women, who understand this, fight against everything from subtle, cultural sexism to extreme and violent gendered oppression. Here, in the US, many people really do think women are "equal enough." I am told we should "consider ourselves lucky." I am not going to compare oppressions. Nor am I in any way dismissing the dehumanizing and life-crushing hatred that women face in too many places on the planet. But, because others are violently deprived of rights and life does not mean that we should be content with circumscribed rights and lives. Women should not have to be thankful for hard-won rights, be penalized for seeking to live better lives or have to settle for "enough" when it comes to equality. In theory, we are citizens with full rights.

Republicans would have you believe that the word "war" is not a valid way to describe the assault on women's rights represented by the hundreds of bills (916 since January 2012 alone) and laws they've pursued or enacted during the past two years. This attitude is unsurprising. What is surprising to me however, is the degree to which these assaults reveal the Republican abandonment, when it comes to women, of three core beliefs of their own party, namely:

• Our country was founded on the fundamental principle that individuals have rights and freedoms
• Government intervention into the lives of private citizens should be limited
• Traditional values and freedoms of the American Republic should be reaffirmed

Either they are betraying their belief in, for example, individual rights and limited government or they are demonstrating that they don't believe women are genuinely included in the definition of individual citizens with full rights and privileges. Time and again, women and their rights are made marginal and secondary to almost everything else and debated away as a matter of expedience.

You should march because this is unacceptable.

It is evident that conservatives do not believe women can be trusted to think for themselves and make their own decisions... about when to become parents, money, faith.. nothing. Instead, in almost every sphere of life, their agenda is designed to keep women dependent on the good graces of men and competing for the resources that men have traditionally provided and keep them vulnerable in the process. That belief seems largely derived from Complementarianism, a worldview of gender roles as different but complementary, in which there are requirements made of men (as heads of households and public life) and restrictions placed on women, who are essentially limited to childrearing. It is one thing for people to chose this model privately, but it should not be enshrined in law, imposed on everyone and enforced judicially and legislatively to undermine equality and freedom. Yet, like a slow moving train wreck, that's what is happening.

As I said, it isn't about individual men and their relative goodness. It's about systematized bias, gender hierarchies and how power, responsibilities and rights are distributed. And, also for the record, before anti-feminist trolls come out of the commenting woodwork, I believe women should fight in combat in military wars. And, yes, I know, these systems are supported by both men and women. That's how Complementarianism works. It's a primary vector for ambivalent and paternalistic sexism's cultural sanction and enforcement by women.

Writer Erin Solaro put it this way in a commentary on women and war and freedom:

"At the core of citizenship is the idea that the citizen's body is hers and hers alone, regardless of sexual history, marital status or childbearing... The full citizenship of women is not just about the right to hold credit cards, buy real estate in our own names, have access to abortion and birth control and lead openly lesbian lives in which marriages and adoptions are legally recognized. These things are important in themselves -- terribly so, to the point of sometimes being matters of life and death -- but what they represent is vastly more important. They are part of a woman's citizenship and freedom, the right of a woman to fully inhabit her own life and participate fully in the life of the polity (in this case the American Republic) as a public and private equal."

You should march because women have yet to be recognized as full citizens, with agency in both the private and public spheres.

 

Follow Soraya Chemaly on Twitter: www.twitter.com/schemaly

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American women need to be recognized as full citizens. Yes, women in this country. It's me again, sitting in my office, by myself, saying that "equal enough" is NOT. But, I am not alone. Tomorrow, ...
American women need to be recognized as full citizens. Yes, women in this country. It's me again, sitting in my office, by myself, saying that "equal enough" is NOT. But, I am not alone. Tomorrow, ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
07:30 PM on 05/01/2012
I am happy to see from the comments that some men get equality completly and will fight alongside women for it. It's sad to see that other men prefer to hang on to privilege and will have to be dragged into the 21st century. To these men I say: "Bring it!"
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
nix28
Ignorance stirs my inner demon...Sorry.
12:28 AM on 04/29/2012
I applaud Soraya for standing up for women. Women are where we are today because there are women (and men) willing to stand and fight. They're not sitting around, stressed over this issue or that issue; they're out acting and making change. I also appreciate the fact that she's not waiting for somebody else to pick up the torch; she's acting on her own accord. Just talking (or complaining) doesn't get anybody anywhere; if we want change, we have to be willing to act. That means writing pieces that get attention, publicizing marches/demonstrations/events, signing petitions, promoting the right candidates, and voting. There will always be those that swear women have nothing to complain about and nothing to fight for, and that's ok. Mere roadblocks on a train that will not stop moving.
11:13 PM on 04/28/2012
Sweety, please read George Orwell. Some pigs are more equal than others. I mean, what can we say to your claim of being more than equal?
09:17 PM on 04/28/2012
If a women is talented and capable she will do just as well as a talented man. If we are going to talk about disadvantages of being born in a given gender it is far worse to be man today than it is a women. Men are less likely to graduate from high school and far less likely to attain a degree. They are 10 times more likely to end up in prison and die on the job and 4 times more likely to die of suicide. They also die 6-7 years sooner than women on average. They are also far more likely to be among the single and homeless. Most of our homeless are single men.

How much awareness and activism is focused on these pressing men's issues? Not much and not . Women can pursue their gender issues but we should recognize they are not the disadvantaged group they once were and the issues facing men are far more pressing.
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goatini
We are two-legged wombs, that’s all
07:29 PM on 04/29/2012
"Men are less likely to graduate from high school and far less likely to attain a degree."

So, after years of attempting to prevent females from obtaining any significant level of education, after years of attempting to prevent females from participating in higher education at all, after all of the below "justifications" to prevent females from obtaining educations:
* Women's brains are too small;
* Females are not biologically suited to the stresses and strains of examinations and the competitive spirit;
* If women's blood were diverted from their reproductive organs to their brains their reproductive organs would atrophy and they would be unable to bear children;
* Woman do not have an independent existence; their lives are relative to men;
* Educated women rarely make good wives and mothers;

...after ALL of this discrimination against females in educational opportunity because they supposedly just couldn't compete with males -

somehow, all these mentally and intellectually superior men, who were SO much smarter and SO much more capable than females that the women did not even deserve an opportunity for education - NOW can't cut it in the classroom? I thought they were SO far superior to females!

What's the matter, guys? Surely, we are so inferior that you should be able to show us up with one hand tied behind your backs!
09:04 PM on 04/29/2012
"What's the matter, guys? Surely, we are so inferior that you should be able to show us up with one hand tied behind your backs!"

Spoken like a modern sexist feminists who still thinks she is speaking to men from the 1960's. The "you guy's" you speak of are old or dead and changed their minds on the matter long ago. Equality is the mainstream, you are speaking for a radical fringe that pretends it's not.
07:27 AM on 04/30/2012
Most of my generation doesn't see there being any difference between men and women in terms of intellectual capacity. If anything it's more accepted socially for girls to be smart along with whatever other facets of their personality they have than it is for boys.

Get over this specific argument. It's a dead one.

Now, if you want to get angry about wage inequality feel free because that's still alive and well (even though that is also going away with the current generation if you look at wages in major cities for young men and women).

For the younger generation of women (20-25) the feminist movement has been mostly a success. Sorry the benefits haven't been able to trickle up to older women quite as well but I don't know how to do anything about that.

Now we just need to make sure that it doesn't slide backwards.
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02:16 AM on 04/30/2012
Your comment regarding achievement is not born out by the facts. Women make 77 cents for every dollar that men make. While there are a few sub-categories where this is not the case, it is FACT overall. Women of color make even less. Women make 51% of the popluation and the majority of the college graduates and make up up only 3% of publicly traded company CEOs and only 15% of Fortune 500 board seats. The shameful rhetoric that this is a result of women's poor choices recently by GOP members is beyond reason. Issues facing men being more pressing is irrelevant to the issue of the hundreds of laws and bills that are eroding women's rights to basic affordable healthcare (including contraception, cancer screening, and abortion) and civil rights that were established over a generation ago. The cost of these laws relating to enforcement alone will break the already over extended state budgets. The money would have been better spend on programs for children, the elderly, the disables - or even the pressing men's issues that you do not specifically address.
11:25 AM on 04/30/2012
Your stats are irrelevant because nobody said women actually try to do the exact same things men do. Women make different life choices than men. That's why there 90% of people in prison are male for example.

You can't use broad averages to assume discrimination in groups with substantially different average behavior. Women earn 50% more degrees than males overall and I don't count that as doing a little better.
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02:22 PM on 04/30/2012
"Women make 77 cents for every dollar that men make."

Studies have shown that some of that is explained by factors like job experience, etc.

But not all.
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08:52 PM on 04/28/2012
""Olderandwiser55 Commented 6 hours ago

""I'm not opposed to birth control, but am opposed to women using abortion as birth control. I don't believe a majority of Americans are opposed to birth control. Most of this proposed legislation will not pass." "

I am a man, and really have no say in this discussion. Are you male or female? Your posting name is very interesting, though. Are you wiser? I am old enough to remember when girls and women (scared out of their minds) went to unlicensed women conducting abortions on a kitchen table, and the absolute nightmare this caused.
I loved women. I am married to a "women", and have two daughters. In no way do I want the likes of John Boehner and his co-horts deciding what care my family should have. That should be up to a Physician and the girls. Period.

(BTW, I have never seen a man at Planned Parenthood. (Have any of you? )
As always, this is up to the women. Women should decide.)
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
retromoderne
Born right the first time
02:53 PM on 04/30/2012
fanned and faved. Thank you.
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10:16 AM on 05/02/2012
Back atcha!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Fran Jaime
Yo Soy 132!
07:19 PM on 05/01/2012
Fanned and Faved with a kiss (respectfully)!
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10:15 AM on 05/02/2012
Back atcha!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
05:54 PM on 04/28/2012
But "equal enough" is often acceptable for men, right?

When men get 14% of child custody, that's equal enough, right?

When men make up 100 workplace deaths to every 1 woman, that's equal enough, right?

When women can adopt a man's child without his knowledge or consent, that's equal enough, right?

When women can end the life of a man's child over his objections, that's equal enough, right?

When the recent update to the VAWA includes everyone BUT heterosexual men...even though men are abused in every state in this nation every single day by women...that's equal enough, right?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
giftsthatpurr
zestful life
11:35 PM on 04/28/2012
Wrong is still wrong no matter to whom it applies. Nothing you have said addresses the wrongs perpetuated against women, because you can only defend against anyoe who seeks to dismantle your priveledge. . . thus the MRA man was "born". Women & men are not rallying to hurt men, but to keep legislators on the far R from hurting women. The article is not about men, though many men are supportive of what women are trying to do. EVERYTHING IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
07:29 AM on 04/29/2012
I see you are getting the Kellybelle treatment, where none of my replies are posted...not because they violate any policy...but because they would embarrass you.

Such bias all around.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
07:31 AM on 04/29/2012
Right.

Everything's about you, I know.

Did any of the thing I wrote above sound like privilege to you?

Did they?

They are not. They are inequalities.

And if modern feminists called about equality instead of female privilege, they would be as outraged by that list of inequalities as they are by Soraya's.

Instead...
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02:24 AM on 04/30/2012
When you are able to carry a child, you will be entitled to an opinion. The state and society has no place in making a woman's healthcare decisions. We are afforded equal protection under the law at the moment - and we will not tolerate the atrocities against women that have begun to occur. This is the 21st century America and these laws and bills will not stand.
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isitdanny
holding the edge, someone has to do it
05:41 PM on 04/28/2012
Here is a Susan B Anthony quote that fits the theme of this article perfectly:
"Men, their rights, and nothing more.
Women, their rights, and nothing less."
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09:19 AM on 04/30/2012
Thanks - good quote.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Grace Note
Is it just me?
05:28 PM on 04/28/2012
Did you march? I did! It was awesome.
04:39 PM on 04/28/2012
Every day adult men and adult WOMEN drive children and grandchildren further and further into bankruptcy. We are financially raping millions of kids, and we are worried about women's rights?

It is like we are determined to bring the pick pocket to justice while we let the serial killer go free....
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TomeOfBullos
04:21 PM on 04/28/2012
No thanks. Feel free to walk around, I'm sure that will help.
iridium53
Semper Fi
04:04 PM on 04/28/2012
Clearly, "equal enough" is acceptable.

When the ERA did not pass, nothing further was done.

Since then, women have been fine with voting for Reagan, Bush, Bush, and, soon, more misogynistic then them all, Romney.

Women vote for Boehner, Cantor, McConnell, Rubio, etc. While they vote down help for rape victims and cut cancer care for women.

Clearly, unequal rights for women is acceptable to women. Particularly in Utah, Idaho, Oklahoma, Kansas, Indiana, Virginia, Mississippi, etc.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
giftsthatpurr
zestful life
11:37 PM on 04/28/2012
Yes, some women - - and I am glad I, and many other women and men are not so ignorant.
03:54 PM on 04/28/2012
I forgot to add that there is no tag for "Men" at the top of the page on Huffpost. Guess we really don't matter to the powers that be.
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05:18 PM on 04/28/2012
Is that sort of like how there's no white entertainment television even though just about every station other than specific ethnic channels is overwhelmingly white?
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09:21 AM on 04/30/2012
Huffington Post is owned and operated by a woman. Just FYI.
angel879
Open Mindedness should become an epidemic
03:18 PM on 04/30/2012
Excellent analogy...they just got to have it all
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
giftsthatpurr
zestful life
01:50 PM on 04/28/2012
My daughters (and son & 2 grandsons) are marching for me, themselves, and their offspring today in our State's capitol. I would be with them but am recovering from major Cancer surgery.

We live in a progressive state, but some states have already made regressive laws that invade women's privacy, keep them from seeking redress for infractions against them (or even major crimes, ) restrict and limit their choices re: their bodies, and roll back equal pay for equal work laws, among other disgsuting regressive policies. As a result, friends and family are marching today, and it is only the beginning.

Those who are against this march are - IMO - against women, and wish to see women as second class citizens. I believe women and girls matter, and have worked to ensure that my daughters would have better opportunities and rights than I had during the 50s, 60s, 70s and even the 80s. The progress we have made is being systematically attacked by those claiming to be conservative. We must stand strong against these regressives, some of whom seem to despise women, and others who wish to have control over us.
11:14 PM on 04/28/2012
glad you put the guys in parentheses as an aside. Nice.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
giftsthatpurr
zestful life
11:16 AM on 04/29/2012
Is that all you got from my post? Did you bother to read beyond the first sentence or was your ego so bruised by parenthesis that you determined to read no further?

The march is about turning back the legal & constitutional clock on women, not men. Not everything is about men. Imagine!
01:16 PM on 04/28/2012
I'll give you an example of equal. No alimony unless your wife was a housewife. I say this because housewifes do a hard job and deserve the support for a limited time. However, a carrer woman needs no support because of her carreer.

I am all for equal pay so that will get my support. I am against a across the board child system because it is extortion to have to pay to see my own child.
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05:23 PM on 04/28/2012
I'm sure the custodial parent would feel that it's kind of bull that the unworthy parent can take a kid they won't help take care of whenever it's convenient and no more is said. Kids cost money. If you don't want to share that burden, you're obviously not responsible enough or serious enough as a parent to really have any part in a child's life.

How old are you? 16?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Scientistengineer
Degrees in Physics (BS), Chemistry (MS.), and Mate
11:52 AM on 04/28/2012
Where does all of this victimization culture come from? If you are not a minority then you must complain about discrimination because you are a woman. All of the women in my life (daughters,sisters, nieces, wife) are doing fine. They have all the birth control, (better) worker protections and opportunities of anyone else. If you feel you are underpaid as a woman - find a different job. People all discriminate for various reasons (I don't like people that chew gum), it is part of human nature. Most men I know feel they are underpaid too (another manifestation of the victimization culture).

I don't see the problem - but then, I'm a man!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
giftsthatpurr
zestful life
01:04 PM on 04/28/2012
It may depend on which state you live in, whether you have money or are poor; but most of all whether you can get comprehensive health care, protection under the law for being raped or beaten, equality in wages, allowed choices for family planning/education/career, & equality in gender laws. Perhaps you are ill informed, but a "victimization culture" is not the same as inequality under the law for over half of a country's citizens.
05:43 PM on 04/28/2012
Upper middle class white women are an oppressed minority. So true.
08:11 PM on 04/28/2012
What inequality under the law? You mentioned nothing to that affect.

Things like comprehensive healthcare are not rights under the law. If you want new laws then get enough support to pass them which means convincing the other half of women.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eilish
Life ain't like a box of chocolates
01:39 PM on 04/28/2012
You don't see a problem with all the recent barrage of legislation aimed at policing women's rights to decided for themselves when they will produce children? No problem with all the morality legislation going around, strictly aimed at policing women by withholding birth control? Legislation allowing doctors NOT to inform a woman of a physical problem or illness in either herself or a fetus that MIGHT convince her to have an abortion - say, a life-threatening condition such as one I had during a fluke pregnancy that would most certainly have killed me and left my three sons parent-less when their father deserted them forever?

Yup, you're a guy. Disgusted here.
03:45 PM on 04/28/2012
No- the proposals are wrong and mosy"guys" would very much agree.
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02:24 PM on 04/30/2012
You lost your credibility with that sexist "you're a guy" slur. Disgusted here.