07/06/2011 12:31 pm ET | Updated Sep 05, 2011

Casey Anthony Jury to Solve Debt Ceiling Crisis in 11 Hours

Jurors of the Casey Anthony trial have been flown to Washington, D.C. in the hope of harnessing their talents to solve the looming debt ceiling crisis. "If anyone can make a swift and unpopular decision about this economic problem, it's them," said Senator Morris Harveston. "We've tried everything else. There is no reasonable doubt in my mind that they will get the job done."

The 12 jurors and five alternate jurors were sequestered in an unknown hotel a few hours ago, after being briefed on all previous negotiations that involve raising the country's borrowing limit and potential spending cuts. "I am certain they will be able to bring the same dispassionate skills to reviewing all of the information as they did to the Casey Anthony trial," said Congressman Richard Noller. "And if it doesn't work? Big deal -- it's just 11 hours."

Following this, the jurors will broker a treaty between Israelis and the Palestinian Authority, then fix all of the nuclear reactors in Japan, and form a unified field theory. Commented Juror Number Two: "If you want something done, we'll do it in eleven hours... or the job is free!"

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