I believe in recycling. But not when it involves my favorite TV shows.
As the writer's strike soldiers on with no presumable end in sight, another rippling effect is becoming apparent on the TV landscape. The strike's repercussions first became evident when the talk shows started airing annoying reruns. Then came the realization that we can expect to see a major increase in reality programming next season (up to 27 hours per week) in broadcasters' attempts to sidestep the need for writers. And if this foreshadowing of next season's programming wasn't ominous enough -- cable is about to be recycled.
CBS Chief Executive Leslie Moonves assuaged reporters' fears at a Global Media & Communications Conference in New York recently by announcing the network's contingency plans for the prolonged strike. This includes importing edited versions of edgy series from CBS-owned premium cable channel Showtime. They want to drag the best of the cable shows and "repurpose" them for broadcast standards.
"There are some shows on that network that we think would work well on CBS," he said.
Showtime's hits include Dexter, about a serial killer; Weeds, about drug dealing in the suburbs; crime drama Brotherhood; and Californication, about a novelist who's down on his luck.
Added CBS chief research officer David Poltrack, "There's no reason why that wouldn't translate from pay cable to broadcast."
Are you serious?
Besides my initial shock that anyone would attempt to mess with Weeds, my subsequent thoughts turned to how exactly the network plans on turning a serial-killer vigilante or a pot-dealing soccer mom into PG fodder. How about we get Dexter to tickle his victims to death? Or encrypt the whole drug element of Weeds so it becomes just a mythic allusion, a la Scooby Doo?
While it's obviously positive that cable shows can receive a larger audience by migrating to network channels, how will they survive the translation process? Can these cable shows endure such sanitization when the strength of the writing relies heavily on the risqué sex, quirky but crass characters, and bleep-free dialogue? There is the case of a safer Sex and the City whose resurrection has proved to be a huge success for TBS. But watching the kosher version one night, I could only smirk at best, and missed the 'laugh out loud' reaction to the dirty days when Samantha, while in down-dog position, would turn to the guy next to her in yoga class and say, "Wanna fuck?"
It just seems absurd to mess with what's not broken. The reason Entourage, Dexter, Weeds, and The Tudors largely work is because of the adult content. So it's not just inappropriate, but really, just irresponsible to inject them into family-viewing primetime. It's not to say these shows are laudable for their nipples and profanity (there are plenty of other online outlets for that), but it's their edginess and the scripts' unpredictability that make them so provocative. It's not always pretty, but it's often disturbingly humorous. When Mary Louise Parker is trying to shake down a fellow dealer, you're suddenly watching them 'shake down' in the middle of an alley on the bonnet of her car. Or when her brother Andy uses his unique, digit-lacking foot as his X-factor entry into the world of fetish porn, how exactly do you re-edit that without leaving half the show on the cutting room floor? And if you take that out, you bleed the shock factor and narrative jolt that makes cable worth paying extra for.
Let's hope the strike ends soon and we wont have to worry about the good ol' days when shows liked their sex public and spontaneous and characters said things like "mothafuckah."