Send Us Your Executricks: A Contest For Those Who Seek To Retire While They're Still Working

Send me a clear description of a strategy, dodge, tactic or trick you employ to retire while you are still at work, since it is quite obvious that none of us will be retiring for real any time soon.
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Today we begin a unique event on this site, which is normally a quiet and dignified place and relatively unused to the clang of swords and the sweat and smoke of organizational politics, let alone the art of self-promotion.

It attends the publication of my new investigation of workplace life, Executricks, or How To Retire While You're Still Working. In this book, I explore the intersection between the executive life and style and the pursuit of a well-paid, working retirement. For while noblesse oblige has been with us since the first individual declared his superior status with a spear and a club, recent developments in workplace technology and culture have placed a true faux-retirement well within the reach of even the most modest middle manager.

The BlackBerry and cell phone, for example, make it possible for any thoughtful person to emulate a senior officer - and conduct business from the nearest hot-tub (being careful to avoid associated electrocution) or beach. The recent perfection of expense account arts have extended the venue in which "work" is conducted far from the hermetically sealed towers and naked cubicles of the office itself.

Executricks are built on five core concepts:

  • Delegation: the art of making other people do what you don't want to;

  • Absence: the establishments of zones in which one is working and not working at the same time;
  • Abuse of status: formerly the realm of senior officers, now available to everyone with creativity and even a modest amount of plastic;
  • The appearance of decisiveness, even when confused - the decision-making process is the single greatest eater of retirement time and must be telescoped;
  • Intense Engagement when required. Short, intense bursts of actual work are sometimes necessary and must be managed with aplomb.
  • I believe we all know what I'm talking about at this juncture. Additional information on the phenomenon, and my study of the subject is available on www.stanleybing.com. In addition to being informative, it is also highly entertaining and, since it is on a business site, germane to your "work" as well as, I would imagine, your work.

    But my limited efforts in this regard are only the beginning. Firm in the belief that readers of this site are absolute masters of this issue, today we begin a contest to ascertain the single most impressive executrick in the world, or at least the world as we know it, the working world, no matter where it may be, what enterprise or organization it concerns. If you are within the sound of my voice, put aside whatever it is you are "doing" and send me a clear, concise (if you feel like making it concise, otherwise, this being the blogosphere, don't) description of a strategy, dodge, tactic or trick you employ to retire while you are still at work, since it is quite obvious that none of us will be retiring for real any time soon.

    Send in your executrick. A distinguished and hirsute panel of judges will then decide which is the best. The First Prize will be...

    Lunch at Michael's Restaurant in New York City with Stanley Bing. Restaurants like Michael's, on 54th Street in midtown Manhattan, are the loci of Executricks in virtually every city or town in which people do business. Michael's is the only place where I can pretty much guarantee a good table, which is also a core concept. Transportation for anyone within 1.5 miles of the restaurant will be provided for.

    If you are NOT in New York City, I'll discuss some other plan with you. Maybe I'll think of a reason to be in your town, you know, a good business reason, of course. Or if you're really in some godforsaken place nobody ever goes to I'll send you the cost of lunch for two at a restaurant of your choice and join you by BlackBerry. Suffice it to say that your prize will be better than not getting one.

    Ready... set... go!

    To enter the contest, submit your Executrick in the comments section below. If you are not a registered Huffington Post commenter, you may email your Executrick to executricks@gmail.com. Please remember to include your city and state when submitting your Executrick.

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