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Stefanie Iris Weiss

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Dear Women: Wake the F**k Up

Posted: 10/22/2012 5:37 pm

Dear Women,

You may be a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, a cousin or a girlfriend. Maybe you're just someone that loves a woman. I don't care if you're young, old, just started a family or past menopause -- if you are any of these people, you should know that we are facing the greatest emergency we have in decades. Wake the f**k up right now, or you may wake up some time in 2013 and realize that you've made the gravest mistake of your life. If you have a vagina or know someone with a vagina, things are about to get real.

There are a million distractions competing for your attention, but this one is the most urgent. This is no joke. It's not hyperbole -- it is life-or-death, deadly serious. It's a massive crisis, and if we don't respond in the voting booth in a few weeks, our lives will change, in drastic and horrifying ways.

So I'm telling you right now, my sisters, to WAKE THE F**K UP. Samuel L. Jackson told you that you needed to do this a few weeks ago, more generally. It's all true. But if you've ever used a tampon, or know someone who has, ignoring this election is NOT an option.

Maybe you feel like politics don't matter to you -- you sat out 2000 and and 2004 and even 2008 because it seemed like your life wouldn't change no matter who sat in the White House. But this time it's different, so you seriously need to wake the f**k up.

Stop watching Honey Boo Boo and Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Stop reading 50 Shades of Grey RIGHT NOW. Stop worrying about celebrity baby bumps or your own love life. Our culture can't keep us from noticing that our rights, liberties and -- most important in this moment -- control over our own bodies might be taken away.

If you vote for Romney, or if you just don't vote, you are insuring that we all lose our right to choose. Most Americans believe in the right to choose, even though Republicans love to lie about it. Most normal people of all political persuasions want abortion to be legal, available and rare.

What happens if Romney wins? If you're currently pre-menopausal and you have sex with men, you might be forced to bear an unwanted child. You might wake up and realize you've missed a period and begin shaking with fear -- because you have no choice about what to do with your pregnancy. Whether you're married with kids or single and not ready to start a family, every time you have sex you'll be subjecting yourself to the threat of eighteen years of childrearing, or bearing a child and putting him or her up for adoption. Wake the f**k up before this happens to you or someone you know.

You could forget to take your pill, a condom could break, your guy could forget to pull out in time. These are just a few of the reasons we have unwanted pregnancies, but if Romney wins, there may be no option but carrying a fetus to full term. Romney currently says, out loud, that he believes abortion should be legal only in cases of rape, incest or if the life of the mother is in danger. He also said he'd be "delighted" to sign a bill outlawing abortion in all circumstances. (His running mate thinks abortion should be illegal in EVERY instance -- rape or incest be damned.) Are you ready to wake the f**k up?

If your birth control fails and you simply cannot deal with a pregnancy at this moment in your life and opt for a back-alley abortion, you'll be risking your life. This is what women used to do before Roe v. Wade in 1973. This is wire hanger territory. And if the police find out about your illegal procedure or attempt to self-abort, under a Romney administration, you might go to jail. Of course he won't say any of this, but it's what his cronies, people who have donated millions to his campaign, believe. He will owe them everything -- and he'll owe you nothing. So wake the f**k up now, before it's too late.

If you're in your reproductive years, you should be running around with your hair on fire, screaming. You should be walking the streets everyday and telling everyone -- strangers, neighbors, family members, colleagues -- to vote or be responsible for sending women back to the nineteenth century. That was before we had the right to vote and when we were literally property of our husbands. Outlawing abortion is a slippery slope to the elimination of all women's rights -- and it's the most immediately consequential to our everyday lives. Wake the f**k up, sister. Please.

This summer we learned that an influential segment of the Republican Party believe in something called "legitimate rape". Last spring we found out that the governor of Virginia wanted to subject women to transvaginal ultrasounds before allowing them to have abortions. Since 2010, hundreds of awful, terrifying, anti-women laws have passed in local legislatures and more misogynistic bills have been put up in the House. Most of these laws have to do with your body -- from personhood to defunding Planned Parenthood. (I'm not even going into contraception here, but that's another issue that should make you wake the f**k up -- because the Republicans don't just want to make abortion illegal, they want to make it impossible for you to use birth control.) Do not let Romney fool you -- he is on board, one hundred percent. His running mate, Paul Ryan, co-sponsored legislation with Todd Akin (Mr. Legitimate Rape) that redefined the definition of rape -- on the assumption that a lot of women casually lie about their rapes. That's how Romney rolls.

Especially if you live in Ohio, Florida, Colorado, Iowa, Wisconsin, Nevada, Virginia or New Hampshire: WAKE THE F**K UP. Because of the way our electoral college works, those states decide this election. So if you're a woman or know a woman who lives in any of those states -- this emergency is yours to address. We all need to call our neighbors, take to the streets, do whatever we can to make sure Obama wins, but for you, it's about getting yourself and everyone you know to the voting booth on November 6th. (Or before, if your state allows early voting.) If not -- what happens is your fault. I don't think you want that kind of karma, sister.

Especially if you're a (state) swinger, you'll see what feels like thousands of commercials in the next few weeks. They'll try to convince you that A) Romney's views on abortion aren't that radical and B) that it doesn't matter anyway, because the economy still sucks (which is debatable anyway). I ask you, women, even if you've been unemployed and blame it on Obama, do you want to live in a country where having sex could ruin your life forever? Maybe you think, "Hey, I'm middle class, I can afford to fly somewhere to get an abortion should I need one." Really, woman? Do you really want to live in that country? Because if Romney wins, that is EXACTLY where you will live. Unless you're Ann Romney or in the .00001 percent and your private jet will whisk you to Paris for a safe procedure, this matters to you.

I'm not going to bore you with the way the Supreme Court works, which is why this is such an emergency. Republicans are going to do everything to tell you that none of it is true, because they want to win. It's not that all of them hate women, and think we should be barefoot and pregnant (even though a shocking amount of them do want this). The ones that just want to win this thing, because they have a vested interest in wining -- money, power and such -- are throwing all the women in the country under the bus. They're lying to you, ladies, and even though I don't usually pray, I'm on my knees asking you not to fall for it.

WAKE THE F**K UP. And VOTE.

Love,

Stefanie

 
 
 

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Dear Women, You may be a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, a cousin or a girlfriend. Maybe you're just someone that loves a woman. I don't care if you're young, old, just started a...
Dear Women, You may be a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a grandmother, a cousin or a girlfriend. Maybe you're just someone that loves a woman. I don't care if you're young, old, just started a...
 
 
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10:05 AM on 11/06/2012
I am just curious... I personally would never have an abortion unless medically necessary. However, I am pro choice. What I am curious about is where everyone going on about reproductive rights feels about women, such as Sheri Shepard, who repeatedly have or had abortions ie women who use abortion as a form of birth control? As much as some people want to think otherwise, those women exist. Obviously, pro-lifers think those women are horrible so pro-lifers, please do not bother with responding. I am curious about where other pro-choicers feel about it.
08:45 PM on 11/05/2012
I've always wondered if this line of thinking would work for Republicans. If you criminalize abortions more children are born. If more children are born and you know that some women who choose abortion are already on Welfare their child will also be on welfare. Well you know what that means- we have to raise taxes to pay for their care/survival. So which do you actually care more about your morals that life is sacred or that you'll be damned if some "lazy bum" gets your money? Personally I believe a woman should have the right to choose- I would never abort a fetus but that's the beauty of it- If you don't want to have an abortion DON'T GET ONE. It's about time women had some reproductive rights! I cannot understand how men have brainwashed so many women into thinking that they don't want to have any say over what happens to their body! This is reminiscent of developing countries where C-sections are not allowed unless the man allows it. I'm terrified of what the Republican party will do to our future as a nation and as a gender! How can we live in one of the most industrialized countries and treat HALF of our citizens like property?
11:45 PM on 10/24/2012
Amelia,
What people like you do not get is this. You keep going on and on about "what you would do",... etc.

These are all thing you HAVE THE RIGHT to do.

Imagine if those rights were taken away.

That IS the point.

You should have the right to do what you want to do about an unwanted pregnancy, and show should those who disagree with you.

The difference is the Romney ticket want to take away the rights of others..

Do you really NOT get this?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
susiewatusi
Dancing around words daily...
12:44 PM on 10/25/2012
huh? I think you missed the point of her article.
06:16 PM on 10/28/2012
Hi susie, 
No I didn't miss the point.

The point is women's rights are in danger of being taken away and the user Amelia keeps talking about what she would do .. all things she has the RIGHT to do.  

So I reminded her that :
"You should have the right to do what you want to do about an unwanted pregnancy, and so should those who disagree with you."

The issue is not "what a conservative or liberal would do".. it is what do they have THE RIGHT to do. 

Funny how those who keep complaining about "too much gov't" have no problem asserting gov't as a means of preventing women the right to a safe medical procedure, based solely on their religious views. 

So, how about this. No one who believes in abortion should get one and those who find themselves in that position are still able to get an abortion.

It is called "Freedom".. and we decided close to 40 years ago that women are first class citizens who should have that right. 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Stefanie Iris Weiss
Author of "Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets"
03:58 PM on 10/25/2012
Thank you, Sam!
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funpete
NPR brain in a FOXNEWS world...
09:20 PM on 10/24/2012
Ladies - PLEEEZE - heed this warning -

because in case your not paying attention, THEY ARE WINNING THIS FIGHT -

state house by state house - they are achieving all their goals -

will they be stopped????????????????
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
z3ncat
personal beliefs are NOT equal to facts
09:40 PM on 10/23/2012
This needs to be screamed from every rooftop across the country.
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09:10 PM on 10/23/2012
I resent the "all women unite" statement you took the time to spit out there. We clearly have differing views of what we need to be able to look in the mirror. I am a responsible adult woman. If I chose to have sex with a man and anti-pregnancy plans were thwarted, I would take responsibility for my actions, not choose abortion as easy means of birth control. I've been befuddled to understand how obama could possibly hold the supporting numbers he has up to this point, but after reading your article, I now get it.
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Iris Silver
Coincidence or synchronicity? You decide.
01:35 AM on 10/24/2012
Well, Amelia, you think it's ok to choose to carry your pregnancy to term. I say to you, if the government can dictate that you can't have an abortion, it can also dictate that you don't get to carry a pregnancy to term.
You've never heard of the forced sterilizations some women were forced to undergo? Turn back the clock on women's rights and these could be a reality again.
What if you have an ectopic pregnancy or any of the myriad of fatal complications possible in pregnancy? Rmoney's presidency may just let you die. Climb down off your high horse.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rthgrl70
10:48 AM on 10/24/2012
And I will assume that you are also one of the people who complains about welfare. Well "sister", when women are forced to have children they can't afford to take care of, guess what. You'll be footing the bill. Or, maybe you can adopt an unwanted child. That would be great too. Unfortunately, if the SCOTUS adds 2-3 overly conservative judges, which is likely to happen if Romney wins, Roe v. Wade is back on the table. If it's overturned, we will have LOTS of babies to support and lots of women possibly dying from infections they get from illegal abortions. No one is "for" abortion. It's the right to choose that is the issue. Having to face the decision to terminate a pregnancy is likely the hardest decision a woman could possibly make. But having a child you know you won't be able to care for as well as any child deserves to be cared for is difficult for not only the mother, but even more so for the child. I understand your position and respect your right to choose not to have an abortion if you were ever faced with that situation, but all anyone is asking is for people who are against it to respect their right to make that decision for themselves. The mother is the ONLY person who will have to live with her choice once it's all said and done.
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07:28 PM on 10/23/2012
So, basically, you're lumping all females into a catagory, your catagory, of lazy selfishness. Disappointing. I rather consider myself a responsible person, with obviously different morals and expectations for myself than you do for yourself. If I am irresponsible enough to have sex, and for whatever reason become pregnant, I am an adult and take responsibility for my actions. What a lazy, amoral response to sex you promote here. ...and to state that the abortion debate is key in this election is terribly small minded. I've been wondering how obama has been retaining the numbers to this point. After reading your "article", I now know where his voters are. wow.
11:42 PM on 10/23/2012
"If I am irresponsible enough to have sex..."

So is your position that no one anywhere should EVER have sex if they don't want to have a child? That people who don't want to have a child shouldn't get married? No birth control is 100% effective, and some women are physically unable to use the most effective forms of birth control due to allergies or sensitivity to hormones. So would you argue that the only responsible choice for a woman who does not want children, or who has some medical condition that makes pregancy dangerous to her, or who knows she would not make a good mother, or who has some genetic problem she does not wish to pass on, is to remain single and celibate for her entire life? Does that truly seem ethical to you?

Yes, we do have very different morals.

Ms. Weiss: Wonderful article. I wish more people would take your wake up call to heart.
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01:54 AM on 10/24/2012
I believe my comment continued "...and for whatever reason become pregnant". To read between the lines for you, that birth control failed. As was cited in the article, a condom could break, etc. I'm saying the act of sex in and of itself poises the risk of pregnancy, dispite efforts to not have that result. If you want 100 % guarantee that you will never face pregnancy, then yes, don't have sex. If you do have sex, own up to the results. Be responsible. ...and (since you gave me every possible scenerio to cover) a person that has a genetic problem, that she for sure knows will be passed on to her children, that cannot use birth control,... well, I can only put myself in those shoes. I'd probably opt to have my tubes tied, and then I would only be risking myself and my life having sex.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Stefanie Iris Weiss
Author of "Eco-Sex: Go Green Between the Sheets"
03:14 PM on 10/24/2012
Thank you Clare! Please feel free to share it far and wide, especially amongst swing state voters.
06:05 PM on 10/24/2012
Bravo
01:03 AM on 10/23/2012
Religious extremists in the USA will not be satisfied until they regain the power they have lost since the founding of this nation. Basically that means burning people at the stake,
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Becca Chopra
Holistic counselor, yoga/meditation instructor
06:51 PM on 10/22/2012
Thank you for saying this loud and clear. I don't like to get political, but really, if you want the right to choose, to health care, to social security, you have to vote for Obama.
Becca Chopra, author of Chakra Secrets
www.thechakras.org