Self Portrait: Ask Me Why I Took This Picture

This post originally appeared on Stella Boonshoft's Tumblr, The Body Love Blog. Brandon, founder of the photo blog Humans of New York, recently met and talked to Stella and published the portrait and Stella's post on the organization's Facebook page, where it got 270,000 likes, nearly 10,000 shares and over 26,000 comments in 14 hours. You might also be interested in reading Stella's thoughts on the origins of her body image issues and her response to all of the attention her first post has received.

WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I'm not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your f*cking business. Meaning my size, IS NONE OF YOUR F*CKING BUSINESS.

If my big belly and fat arms and stretch marks and thick thighs offend you, then that's okay. I'm not going to hide my body and my being to benefit your delicate sensitivities.

This picture is for the strange man at my nanny's church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.

This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.

This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I'd be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds

This picture is for all the f*cking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)

This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.

This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me "lard". She made me feel like I didn't deserve to exist. Just because I happened to be bigger than her. I was 12. And she continued to bully me via social media into high school.

MOST OF ALL, this picture is for me. For the girl who hated her body so much she took extreme measures to try to change it. Who cried for hours over the fact she would never be thin. Who was teased and tormented and hurt just for being who she was.

I'm so over that.

THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT.

This post originally appeared onThe Body Love Blog.

MORE FROM STELLA:

Backstory: How I Learned To Hate My Body -- And Love It Again

I Spoke Out And People Listened -- So Why Am I So Upset?

 

Follow Stella Boonshoft on Twitter: www.twitter.com/brrbitchbrr

Comments

[melanielpc]

07:04 PM on 11/21/2012

Sexy is in the brain, not the belly. I've met people who were down right homely (you are not) that I was attracted to.

[Frderic Lambea]

12:57 PM on 11/09/2012

Nothing so pretty as a Woman, who leaves stupid prejudices out!. Just, pretty Woman, be Yourself, I'm with You, You told. I'm here. I admire You and what You did it!

[Mary Kerr]

05:09 PM on 11/01/2012

Hi Stella you are an inspiration to me and so many others .I used to be skinny too but after I quit smoking I gained 60 pounds after being 115 to 120 and I have to learn to love my body again . But I have to tell you that there are people who are at the other extreme that have body image issues over being small and under developed because of societies standards.I have a 17 year old daughter who is absolutely beautiful but because she looks like a 12 year old that hasn't developed yet in her mind . She self loathes herself because she thinks she needs to fit societies standards.I only wish she could see herself as beautiful just as she is .I hope that you continue to promote healthy body image because I feel it will make a much needed difference.

[Omar Ravenhurst]

05:20 AM on 10/31/2012

It seems spiteful that you took this picture solely for everyone and anyone who does not like your body and not for the benefit or enjoyment of anyone you might actually enjoy the picture.

I will ask. Why?

[laci512]

03:10 PM on 10/29/2012

Fantastic!! What a wonderful message you are sending. Thank you!! Best of luck to you and everything you do.

[Sofia Zavala]

11:15 AM on 10/28/2012

You GO Girl! Start the Revolution! Demolish beauty standards because who needs them!?! You are so brave! Much love :)

[Kitty Girl]

11:51 AM on 10/27/2012

This beautiful girl does not appear to be "unhealthy" by any stretch of the imagination. That mere fact that she's not "skinny" according to society's dumb standards does not mean she doesn't take care of herself or that she isn't in good health. "Good health"...what does that even mean? I think people often forget or undermine the significance of MENTAL health, which can have a HUGE impact on physical health. I think it's common knowledge that people who live super-stressful lives are at higher risk for heart attacks, strokes, etc...even SKINNY people. It's okay to weigh a little more than what society deems "acceptable" and still be healthy, ESPECIALLY if they are emotionally happy and healthy, which it seems this amazing girl is. It's not like she's huge or anything...she's just a little "fluffy". SO WHAT? We can't assume that she doesn't take care of herself. Do you know how many people there are in this world who try so hard to eat healthy and exercise and STILL can't get to a desirable weight because their body just wasn't designed to be that way? Being a little bit bigger does not automatically equal having all the health problems that are commonly associated with being "fat". Nobody has ANY right to make assumptions about the state of this girl's health!!!

[wckoko]

08:31 PM on 11/02/2012

"It's not like she's huge or anything...she's just a little 'fluffy' ."
So in your opinion, it would be OK to hate her if she were huge ? What, in your opinion, constitutes huge ?
I hate to break this to you, but you do not come across as non-judgemental as you think you do.

[Kitty Girl]

08:10 AM on 11/06/2012

Oh man, that's not what I meant at all! Of course I don't think it's okay to hate a person for being "huge", and I do not have any of these hateful feelings myself. No where in my comment did I imply this, nor did I say, "and with this comment, I'm trying to come across as non-judgmental". I was merely pointing out to the people who were accusing this girl of being unhealthy that I believe they are wrong. All I meant was, being a little overweight doesn't mean a person isn't healthy. I do believe there a difference between being chubby and obese, and it is my opinion that after a certain point a person's weight will undoubtedly have devastating consequences on one's health, but I don't claim to know where that line is. I just know that from looking at this picture AND reading what this girl wrote, that she doesn't seem to be in ill health and I wanted to defend her. I'm sorry if I offended you, or anybody else. I do see how what I said could have come across as a little harsh, but I definitely was not trying to be like that. Please don't misinterpret what I wrote and assume that I implied things that I didn't say. Peace :)

[bahona]

10:33 AM on 11/23/2012

My Grandfather called full figured women "healthy". He called skinny women "sickly". This courageous young woman proves that my Granddad was correct. She looks fantastic! Compare Stella to skeleton-thin Vogue models who look like concentration camp victims........Mahes me wonder why our society pushes women to look like they are on Death's door...Are we all afraid of healthy women?

[cleogrrl]

11:51 AM on 10/26/2012

"Health" is a code word when discussing weight, especially women's weight. It's used by folks who don't want to sound prejudiced, yet must somehow register their veiled contempt for women who display bodies that are perceived to be fat. Health is personal, changeable, and private. When you say "But it's about being healthy", what you're really saying is "I fear and hate your body".

The science about weight, health, weight gain or weight loss, is complex and constantly changing. The facts of one woman's body and her health is between her and her health care providers. Your commenting about this woman's body and saying it's about "health" is frankly bullsh*t. Please examine your prejudices.

[Willothwisp24]

03:06 PM on 11/17/2012

Its not about health until you bring it up. Its about culture. I am all for culture accepting people who chose to live outside of magazine standards, but when you bring up the myth that being obese is healthy, the reams of research showing it is not must also be brought forward.

[WynK3lly]

07:55 AM on 10/26/2012

Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, just like flowers do. Yet ALL are beautiful in their own way. Some of us are like orchids, or roses, some like daisies, some like cactus blossoms. I am like a large, happy sunflower. We are all lovely in our own unique way.

[Cootie1]

07:34 AM on 10/26/2012

You have a beautiful smile and dimples!You are a beautiful young lady who looks like she has things under control! Keep SMILING and I believe your DREAMS will come true!

[Cootie1]

07:30 AM on 10/26/2012

Love your smile and beautiful dimples! You are a beautiful young lady! KEEP SMILING and your dreams will come true!

[Ihadtotryit]

11:16 PM on 10/25/2012

You are AMAZING for posting this!

[LoudGuitr]

10:25 PM on 10/25/2012

Why are negative comments being deleted from this article? Is this Huffington's decision or is the author doing it? I merely posted my opinion in a civil way yesterday and I was deleted. Does my opinion not count? Why are there comments at all if all you are looking for is praise?

[matilda81]

02:46 AM on 10/30/2012

Someone always has to be negative. However, it's refreshing not to see any rude comments about this brave young woman. She doesn't deserve criticism.

[crosswind]

04:22 AM on 11/01/2012

But she DOES deserve the truth... why cover up the truth. I agree with LoudGuitr

[Helgardh]

09:49 AM on 11/16/2012

Whenever someone goes out of their way to say they were civil, they never were.

[LoudGuitr]

10:27 PM on 10/25/2012

Why are negative comments being deleted from this article? Is this Huffington's decision or is the author doing it? I merely posted my opinion in a civil way yesterday and I was deleted. Does my opinion not count? Why are there comments at all if all you are looking for is praise?

[Uncommonsensetoo]

10:02 PM on 10/25/2012

I absolutely LOVE your body. To me you're my dream girl, look-wise at least ;-) I don't find skinny/toned girls appealing at all. I just love soft curves on a woman, so feminine. I bet a lot, of not most guys feel the same. Unfortunately, most of them are not willing to admit it, due to our societies, screwed up notion of what is supposed to be ideal. You should be happy about your body and it sounds like you are getting there.

Some guy.