Clear a Drawer, Change Your Life: A Surprising Path to Reinvention

In 1996 I walked away from teaching at one of Boston's preeminent schools at the height of a 20-year career. I was at the top of my game, and burned out. I didn't know what I loved anymore, or who I was.

Teaching was my life. I had seniority, a fabulous community of students and faculty, a salary with full benefits. Why would anyone quit the best gig in town?

You could say I had lost it. In hindsight I'd say that something inside me needed to be found.

And "finding" I did. By releasing a huge part of my personal and professional identity, I was able to get in touch with the things that made my heart sing (and cringe): my passions, my longings, my fears... my clutter! For the super-organized neatnik that I am, this last revelation came down like a sledge-hammer to my self-concept and world-view.

It turns out I didn't need to go on a pilgrimage or meditate on a mountaintop to find myself. My home became my temple, my clutter was my teacher, and my journey of self-discovery began with clearing out a single drawer.

Though modest at the start, the process of shedding a lifetime build-up of stress and stuff grew organically and exponentially. Clicking through four pens to find one that worked led to clearing a drawer full of dead magic markers, a pristine box of personalized pencils that I'd saved since I was five, and stacks of Siskel and Ebert movie reviews clipped out of the Sunday paper.

Looking for a plastic food storage container led to recycling dozens of excess lidless yogurt cups, consolidating the condiments in the fridge, tossing unidentifiable freezer items laden with inches of frost.

Removing sticky bulletin board notices, dog-eared flyers, expired coupons, stale artistic masterpieces, and rubbery refrigerator magnets (selling pest management services) led to the long-overdue renovation project that opened up a dividing wall in our kitchen, added a fresh, colorful coat of paint, and offered a new lease on life.

The easy things led to clearing more difficult ones like the clothes I might be able to fit in again someday (not), my daughter's adorable baby clothes, my matchbook collection, all my graduate school term papers, and 20 years of purple mimeographed handouts and teaching paraphernalia (saved in duplicate, of course, just in case I might teach again).

My clearing process led to surprisingly soothing, repetitive rituals like sweeping the kitchen floor, unloading the dry dishes to make room for the wet ones, rounding up the family room before going to bed.

Before I knew it, my efforts grew into something way bigger than a string of random feel-good exercises. It became a journey -- a journey that had much less to do with clearing out "things" than it did with clearing out my attachments to things.

Weeding out the material excesses of my home and office became an enlightening practice of feeling the experience of clearing: Feeling how congested, gummy, or even nauseous I can be after an hour of moving junk around. Feeling the ache in my feet, the tightening in my chest, the drying in my mouth. Feeling how hard and painful and embarrassing it is to let some things go. Feeling how good it feels in the house after I've put stuff in the recycling bin and walked it out to the curb for the Friday morning pick-up. Feeling how much easier it is to clear when I am less attached to an outcome and my dramas (surprise, surprise).

Softening the hardwiring of my past -- one useless suitcase key and painful memory at a time -- has been my hero's Journey. Who could have predicted that all my messy and meandering baby steps would lead to significant life changes: reconnecting with a longtime passion for nourishing home spaces, a complete makeover of my professional career, and a love for something I never knew I had in me: writing.

After nearly two decades on the clearing path I can say that it boils down to these basic truths:

• Clearing moves stuck energy.
• Releasing stuck energy is like detoxing: it may not always feel good at first (especially if the thing has been around for a while), but is profoundly nourishing when you stay with it.
• No task is too small. Moving a pile from the floor to the drawer, or even just one paper clip off a chonically-messy desk, creates openings and flow.
• Awareness changes everything. Noticing and allowing sensations and emotions to arise without personalizing and judging them as good or bad is the key to lasting change.
• Repetition and consistency leads to new wiring and habits.

You can start right now. Whether it is a lighter load, a quieter mind, a better mood, a solution to a problem that you're chewing on, less attachment to outcomes, finding your soulmate or your mojo... here's my all-purpose recipe:

• Clear (move or address) one thing, one pile, or one annoyance for one minute and notice how you feel. Clear a purse, the glove compartment, or your fridge. Replace a burned-out light bulb, sew a button, unsubscribe from an email list. Start small and keep it simple.
• Give your one-minute task your full and undivided attention. Allow any sensations to arise without fixing or managing them. Notice your breathing (Is it shallow? Is it relaxed?) Notice your inner critic. Notice how you feel afterwards.
• If you go into overwhelm, reach for something even easier that does not elicit the fight or flight response: put the cap on the toothpaste, turn out lights, sweep a floor.

And when you feel complete, here's the advanced practice: repeat the same exercise again tomorrow.

And the next day. And the day after that.

With a little willingness to be pleasantly surprised, this simple daily practice may just lead you places in your home, head, and heart beyond your wildest imaginings.

 

 

 

Follow Stephanie Bennett Vogt on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SpaciousSelf

Comments

[Kit Wheeler]

10:05 PM on 10/12/2011

So happy to see you on HuffPost. I've played with your work a bit, always rather scared of my own power and success. I got into a big project last weekend that I had -- with your help -- been sneaking up to for months. About half way through it, I looked at the wonderful progress I'd made and felt euphoric. But at the same moment, I felt a sudden dread at having to do the rest of it right then. So you know what?? I DIDN'T!!! I took a nap, took my husband on a picnic at the beach, and relaxed into looking forward to the next session. Imagine it -- when it wasn't fun anymore, I stopped doing it!! Where do you ever get permission to do that in this world? Well, from you! Thanks so much. I'm looking forward to meeting you in West Concord very soon.

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

12:23 PM on 10/15/2011

Kit I love this!

Thank you so much for posting.

I love that you gave yourself permission (yes, we get to do that!) and chose self-care and fun when your mind went into dread and overwhelm. This is true spirit of this work, and real wisdom!

I hope you don't mind if share this on my Web site sometime to inspire others.

Blessings on your journey!

Stephanie

[treasure1]

07:32 PM on 10/12/2011

Hi Stephanie, your decluttering and simplfying life ideas have been inspiring me for several years. You always seems to say just the right thing to keep me on track...even if it's one drawer or just one pen at a time. I'm so glad to see you on the Huffington Post and plan to follow your column regularly.

[Rita Flores Bogaert]

11:26 PM on 10/05/2011

Hi Stephanie, who gives hope and reminds about the breath to those suffocating in clutter,

Met you in SMA in Mexico in Feb 2010. Congratulations on your blog in Huff! Glad you are spreading your empowering words of clearing one drawer at a time. I'm moving into a new place and your words gives me the ummmmph and realize slow is fast. One drawer (breathe...) second drawer....thrird....keep it simple....start again tomorrow, one closet (breathe)....second closet.

Thank you for all the you share, from Rita who hopes not to bring clutter in her new home in Walnut Creek, CA

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

12:18 PM on 10/15/2011

Hi Rita!

I so remember you at the San Miguel Writer's Conference. Your "one drawer (breathe.. .) second drawer.... keep it simple.... start again tomorrow..." is right ON! Just saying it out loud as I write it gives ME ummmph! ;-)

Feel free to let us know on the Huff Post comment threads how it's going, will you?

Thanks so much for your note. I wish you an ease-ful and clutter-free transition into your new home!

All best,
Stephanie

[Eileen S Tuttle]

08:36 PM on 10/05/2011

Stephanie,

Finally, a moment to read your wonderful article! And wonderful it is!!! Although I know you personally and have read your book a couple of times....what you have to share about clearing is always so inspiring. I especially love the emotion that trickles through your writing. Thank you Stephanie!

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

10:57 AM on 10/08/2011

Awww, thank you, Eileen. Means a lot! Emotion definitely goes with the journey, doesn't it?! Love seeing your smiling picture here on the comment thread. Hope you'll stop by again and say hi!

[Joan Ross]

04:01 PM on 10/05/2011

Stephanie,

What a great article! What you share really resonates with me. I also quit my professional career due to burnout several years ago and began my own clearing process. It has been quite an experience and after almost seven years of gradual letting go I feel ready to make a more significant life change. Your all-purpose recipe is perfect. Every tiny step leads us further along the path.

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

09:08 PM on 10/05/2011

Dear Joan,

I'm so glad to hear the recipe is just what is needed right now. Though counter-intuitive, baby steps are way more powerful than we can imagine. Especially if you combine them with presence. That's where the magic is!!

[maryann727]

02:05 PM on 10/05/2011

Stephanie ~ You tell your story beatifully. When I finished reading, I felt that clearing my space is possible. Actually it is a work in progress, a few steps forward, then a few back but when I read what you write, I'm inspired to clear again. Thank you. There is something serene that manifests in your writing. After reading, I took a small action and changed two light bulbs. Today, I clear a drawer.

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

09:03 PM on 10/05/2011

Aww thank you Maryann! One small action combined serenity are music to my ears! Who knows what one drawer will lead to...! Let me know how it goes. Cheers!

[Sandra Gulland]

06:26 AM on 10/05/2011

Wonderful article, Stephanie. You are always so inspiring.

Sandra Gulland
============
Website: http://www.sandragulland.com/
Blog: http://bit.ly/TheWritingLife
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/novelistSandraGulland

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

08:51 AM on 10/05/2011

Thank you so much, Sandra. And for scrolling all the way down the page to tell me. It means a lot!

[Amid Yousef]

02:13 PM on 10/04/2011

Wow, Stephanie... All of us are becoming Authors so we can TEACH the world and you left the world of TEACHING to become Authors... Very interesting

[Stephanie Bennett Vogt]

04:22 PM on 10/04/2011

Hi Amid... It is interesting. I hadn't thought of it that way... maybe because I still think of myself as teacher. A teacher that loves the slow-drip approach that writing offers.