Who's the Recipe for Disaster: Ann Coulter or Single Mothers?

While I've never read anything by Ann Coulter, and probably won't just because I think she's so annoying in her interviews, I was struck by her comment that "single motherhood is a recipe for disaster", whether or not I agree with it.

A friend of mine who used to be a single mother and I were discussing the topic and she fully agreed with the statement. She said that raising her son for those years before she met her now-husband was the hardest time in her life. "I now know why God makes a mom and a dad." She also told me she has even asked her son, who is now 16, what he'd be like had she still been a single mom. He told her he was sure he would be walking all over her and that she wouldn't have control over him.

Hmm. Interesting.

Why is it that there's such a stereotype that we moms are not the disciplinarians when it comes to parenting, and why is it that Ann Coulter can completely blame us for what can be wrong in America? And even if she's right, why does she have to be so blatantly so?

Harry Smith of CBS said it best in his interview with her -- "that she's so goofy, it's hard to take her serious", and another journalist was quoted as saying: "The deeper you get with Ann, the less sense she makes."

It's as if she's stating that single mothers are to blame for most of the problems in America -- rapists, prisoners, the crime rate, illegitimacy?

Why put the blame on single motherhood?

I'm not trying to redirect the blame, I'm just trying to understand it, and figure out why this one woman thinks she's got the answers to everything? Given the fact that she's never been married or had a child, where does she get the know-it-all?

My opinion (and I guess I'm entitled just as much as she is, right?) is that she probably was a lonely child and didn't get much attention growing up so she seeks it out today as an adult. She sure is getting the attention these days, getting cut from the Today Show and then rescheduled. She bashes the media in her new book, Guilty, yet she's a crafty one, because she knows they all want her on their shows to amp up their ratings. Her Wikipedia entry describes her as a polemicist, someone who "stirs up the pot" and that she does! In every single interview, she rants about her opinions -- as if they're gold -- and barely lets the interviewer get a word in.

Her defensiveness does make me wonder if she really is angry or if it's all just a media stunt, to get more attention, to sell more books, to get America hyped up about what she's writing? People call her a whiner. Harry Smith told her she should be wearing a cross. Whatever the case, she's making her point and I'm sure this book will be on the New York Times bestseller list in no time at all. Go Ann.

Visit Stephanie Elliot at manicmommy.blogspot.com or stephanieelliot.com.

Comments

[heterosexual]

I find it amazing how someone can attack ann coulter without having read anything she's written.Ann is right free speech in america is under threat.What i;ve observed on this site is that FACTS are irrelevant it's all about feelings and perceptions and bias views .If the FACTS about the negative impact single motherhood has had on the mothers, the children ,and society at large ,not to mention the overwhelming financial burden . presented by ann are false than i challenge anyone to prove her wrong with FACTS .I'm positive I;ll be waiting a long time.

[Voight]

My wife is a public school teacher, and she confirms what Ann Coulter says: practically none of the kids that go to in school suspension, out of school suspension, or "alternative schools" (a.k.a. "the Future Gang Members of America Quarantine ") come from a house with a mom and a dad. It's always a single mom, or a single dad, or an aunt or grandmother who raises the child because the parents cannot (for whatever reason), etc.

Ann Coulter saying that "single motherhood is a recipe for disaster", is not the same as Ann Coulter "[blaming you] for what can be wrong in America"; that's just a straw man you can conveniently set up and knock down while claiming victimization. She's pointing out the obvious: single parenthood, while often glorified, often produces messed up kids, and should be discouraged.

I know your single parenthood experience is valuable, but there are people out here (like my wife) who see literally hundreds of "single parent children" in trouble every year, and they aren't being "blatant" for noticing the common denominator. They're trying to point out an over-looked problem, hoping one day we solve it, instead of worrying about everyone's feelings while we build bigger prisons to incarcerate the next generation of child-adults with family problems.

[Snailgoop]

It depends on where your wife teachers. If she sees a number of troubled single mothers raising troubled children, chances are that she teaches in a low socioeconomic area. Poverty is a major factor in crime and other problems. Poverty and single motherhood are two different issues, though they often occur together. Blaming single motherhood while ignoring the elephant in the room - poverty - is ignorant and shows a real lack of clear analysis on Ann's part.

Additionally, your wife's perspective is subjective, prone to biases, context, and other variables, and most certainly does not encompass and reflect the entirety of reality. Just something to think about.

[Klaus K]

It's not easy raising kids by yourself. Man or Woman. Ann Coulter needs to experience it before she can go and say anything about the subject. Plus you also have to admit, some of these "criminals" come from a home with a mother and a father, some of them were probably abused as kids (physically, or mentally), or just were never around for their kid because they work so much. Ann is an ignorant (not stupid... IGNORANT) person who uses her statements as a crutch for attention. And I also disagree with her bashing on biracial celebs crediting their black side. It is amazing these days that famous biracial celebrities are embracing their roots. There was a time when you would be burned or lynched because of who you were, nowadays it is great to have that sense of pride for your ethnic roots.

Ann needs to learn how to take criticism for her own statements instead of bitch about them. She is hard on the ears to listen to.

[Libbydoe]

Instead of blaming single mothers, let's take a look at the men who create this situation. I Most women would prefer not to raise children on their own. Sometimes, however, they have no choice. I think the crazy right wingers should start concentrating on teaching males to be more responsible.

[nee]

Shouldn't children have a mother and father? Shouldn't women be making better choices then they are making? Would'nt our children be better off if we thought more about who we were sleeping with? Children are not making these choices their mothers are. Women get it together!

[dizzypdx]

Really? So, in other words, it was my mother's fault my father died? My sister's fault her husband cheated and left her? Men are just as responsible for the children they co-create. Why else would there even be child support laws if everything depends on the mother?

I'm hoping I just over reacted to a joke post.

[nee]

I'm talking about women who choose to have babies out of wedlock.

[Snailgoop]

Women can make excellent choices but it's absurd to insinuate that gives them unreserved control over the outcome of a two person relationship. Single motherhood can be caused by death of the father, abandonment due to extraneous causes that occurred after she became pregnant, and many other potential factors, including a lack of foresight into the nature of the man with whom she had a child. A single parent is not responsible for the choices that the other parent makes. We simply cannot control people to that extent.

Once a single parent is in the situation where she or he has to raise a child for 18 years alone and say, a decade passes, it's a little ridiculous to continuously stigmatize that person regardless of their integrity, sacrifice, love, and other virtuous attributes in parenting simply because something happened so many years ago. Yet the deadbeat parent who has abandoned a child (and assuming they still have the capacity to parent) wakes up every single day and CHOOSES to abandon that child. Every single day, a deadbeat parent wakes up and decides today, he or she is going to go on with their day and pretend they never had a child. Years often pass. Children SUFFER for it. And the parent who sticks by the side of their child and says, "I'm so sorry" gets the blame from an ignorant and vocal slice of society, one steeped in misogyny... and in Ann's case, greed and a desperate need for attention.

[larry278]

Somewhat, if not completely, off thread. I live in an aged adult assisted living facility. A vast majority of my care givers are single mothers with day to day custody of their children. My care givers are responsible, caring, competent care givers. It wouldn't be surprising if they were responsible, caring, competent care givers for their children too. In short: good mothers. I should be lost without my single mother care givers. Where is there a disaster if a good mother, constantly sets a good example for her children? A good mother is an unusual creature which adds value to her culture & to the lives of her children.
There has been a change in the craft & skills of mothering; it's differant. It's demanding. The children of a single mother see that. The 'ideal' pattern of mothering baby boomers got is no more. This is what the USA has in 2009. It could be a great deal worse, much worse.
As for Ms Coulter, Mrs Betty Bowers, America's best [& popular] Christian has an interesting view of Ms Coulter. You might want to use a favorite search engine to find Mrs Bowers's views.

[nee]

Shouldn't those "care givers" be caring for their own children?

[BabsfromKansas]

By working and bringing in money to clothe, feed, and house them they are caring for their children.

[Sandy248]

I still think the only reason she 'sells' so many books is because some rich operative is buying them in bulk to boost sales.

[Joseph A. Palermo - Huffpost Blogger]

I was so happy to see Whoopi Goldberg get the last word with Coulter: "You can dish it out but you can't take it." -- Here's Coulter playing the victim, claiming the women on The View are "attacking" her while she denounces people who "play the victim." Pure, unalloyed, crystalline hypocrisy!

[BlackJAC]

I'm surprised it took you this long to figure out that the gops practice what they denounce on a daily basis. They wail about socialism, yet red states take in more federal funding than they pay out in taxes. They complain about Affirmative Action and the Fairness Doctrine while simultaneously complaining that none of their kind is represented in entertainment or academia. They despise Moslem theocracies but crave Christian ones.

[SorryImACon]

with all due respect blackjac ur full of bs
affirmative action is a joke, i think people should be judged, not on the color of their skin, but by the content of their character
and how do we crave christian theocracies
theocracies in general are stupid and unconsitutional
unless u are talking about roe v wade which is also unconstitutional as it clearly violates the 10th amendment, and also the fairness doctrine is complete bull as well, as we live in a capitalist society the airwaves should be decided by what people want to listen to, not some arbitrary standard
so, either get informed or stop commenting on issues u do not understand

[booker52]

I caught the last few minutes of Ann on the View today. Please, the woman talks over anyone who doesn't agree with her and by the looks of it today most of the ladies. I liked what Whoopie said to her, that her book isn't loaded with a lot of facts. Meaning I guess that Ann doesn't back up her statements. I think after seeing her on TV for the past few years I would say Ann just doesn't like other woman nor children. Last but not least I don't believe the woman likes herself.

[protagonia]

She is hero to all the mean, ignorant and gullible people out there.

[godhelpusall]

with ann coulter, what you get is far less than meets the eye, which is already not much .......

[AurigaRa]

do journalists need ANY credentials these days?

Cuz if they did, Harry and the one quoted would never make it in the smarts dept.
Anyone with a brain knows that Coulter is a shill for the right wing, whose rantings make no sense
and/or are lies. She may or may not even subscribe to the crap she puts out there, but there's no pretending that it is worth anyone's attention.

[heterosexual]

If everything ann says is alie than prove it,otherwise stop spreading yous.

[JimR]

Breaking news:

"Coulter spouts crap, media dutifully reports outrageous comments"

"Sun rises in morning"

[TheApeMan]

Ann Coulter is on the View this morning

[seereene1]

Whoppie couldn't bear to read the prepared lead in statement for her appearance and Joy and Sherri looked down, away and irritated. I wanted to keep my food down this morning and dutifully turned the channel.

[cmfshort]

I did watch the show and I was waiting for Sherri to deck her. She insulted Barbara and Barbara was more than gracious. And she talks incessantly! Whoopi could not get a word in. And she was getting a little perturbed, also. Joy just seemed annoyed that the woman was even on the show.

Single mothers? How did they get that way? Some choose it, but more are single because the father left. And what about the ones where the father leaves, the children's and wife's standard of leaving drops and the mother is trying to find a job or now has to work 2 jobs to survive? Yes, these situations cause societal problems, but these 'families' need our help, not our castigation.

[ruffmama]

what about the dad's who run off and create the single moms? Why is she not blaming the men who do not step up to the plate and take an active role in their child's life?

That being said....I have three sons and it is very true that all kids need a dad around...especially boys.

[stateretiree]

But it helps to have a Dad that acts like a Dad. My kids had a Dad but they may as well have had a single mother. Why is it the people who don't have kids think they have all the answers for parents and parenting?

[SorryImACon]

yes it does, too bad those single mothers dont want their kids to have a dad that acts like a dad, by the fact that they are single by their own choosing

[Filipinocon]

Well i just got done reading Ann Coulter new book.

Ann Coulter is not blaming single mothers but those who willingly want to be a sing mother.

Democratic Senator Moniyhan who himself was a libera was used in Ann Coulters new book about how Single motherhood raising children are more likely to commit a crime or do drugs.

This is coming from a Liberal Democrat. Statistics mean nothing to liberals.

[Snailgoop]

If Ann Coulter is blaming only single mothers who choose to be single mothers for all of our societal problems, then she needs to back it up with evidence. She's not backing it up with any evidence. Democratic Senator whoever isn't backing it up with evidence either. Ann may claim it's fact but she's also free to claim that UFO's are invading Earth.