Is something in retrograde this month? Don't tell us. All we know is that a bunch of situations have recently popped up on our radar screens that we don't understand and can't begin to respond to. Sure, AIG bankers still getting hot rock massages at Ritz Carleton resorts makes sense. Finding out that Princess Diana is Cindy McCain's role model makes sense. Angelina Jolie getting a tattoo of the longitude and latitude of her new twins' birthplace -- hey, doesn't everybody? Queen Elizabeth posting a YouTube video of course. Brilliant! But what about these?! We begged the experts to help.
Situation #1
Does Christopher Buckley's surprise endorsement of Barack Obama make up for his surprise announcement about his 8-year-old son, the product of an extra-marital affair between Buckley and his publicist?
Solution
"It is encouraging that Christopher Buckley's judgment turns out, at this late date, to be sound regarding the Obama-McCain presidential contest," says Dr. Leona Jaglom, a clinical psychologist in Brooklyn, New York. "That fact does not, however, even relate to his earlier judgment regarding his personal life. While perhaps displaying honesty and courage now in the political arena, he certainly did not display them while he kept his extramarital affair and 8-year-old son a secret. Has he developed and matured? Perhaps. Does that undo what was done before and the consequences it had for all the parties involved? Definitely not."
Situation #2
What does it say about America that Tina Fey is more credible as Sarah Palin than Sarah Palin is as herself?
Solutions
"That we have become so media-savvy we can recognize the fundamental absurdity of a public figure even as the men behind the curtain think they can make us believe otherwise," says Richard Bradley, Editor-in-Chief of Worth Magazine.
"It's a natural extension of the painful simplicity and suggestibility Americans have shown as a collective voting block. Seeing Fey achieve hilarity by simply repeating Palin's words verbatim felt to me like an intellectual nadir: reality has become satire, says Ben Finkel, Founder and CEO of community Q&A site Fluther.com.
Situation #3
As the holidays approach, would Alec Baldwin's new book, "A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce", be a good gift for the divorced (or really bitter) dads on your list?
Solutions
"Absolutely. Doesn't misery love company? The idea that it is easy to wrap yourself in defense of fatherhood is a huge -- and sad -- part of it," says Phyllis Cohen, CSW. New York Psychotherapist who specializes in family and adolescent counseling. "Ask yourself - is this book really about being a good father or is it about continuing the fight with your ex-wife? Which can be very public when you are a celebrity. If you really care about your kids, then you don't carry it on in public. (Note to Peter Cook re: Barbara Walters interview.)"
"Yes and no," says Richard Bradley, Editor-in-Chief of Worth Magazine. "On the one hand, they say the book is actually pretty good. On the other hand, how many men would still choose to live with the aftermath if they could sleep with Kim Basinger quite a few times? In other words, men's actions are rarely determined by what we read in books."
"I think his book about fathering after divorce, given Alec's reputation, should be a Humor Book and moved out of the Self-Help category. Watch sales soar! Good luck Alec. South Beach diet???" says Bambe Levine, President and Founder of Bambe Levine Public Relations in New York.