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4 Steps to Determine What's Missing in Your Life (And What the Heck to Do About It)

Posted: 03/21/2013 1:42 pm

We're talking about that yucky feeling that something's missing in your life, despite the fact that you have everything you thought you ever wanted. Sound like you? Don't worry, you're not alone.

How to Determine What's "Missing" in Your Life

1) Spend time tracking the specifics of your funky funks and off feelings.

Even if your whole life feels off course and out of balance, there will still be trigger points that are unique to you and your own experiences of feeling discontent.

Is it your relationships that don't quite feel right? Does your job leave you with a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction at the end of the day? When you're out and about in your town, does it just not feel like the right fit for you? As you're going through your days, and even weeks, start to keep a log of what you're feeling and when. The more details, the better.

It's incredibly important to be able to pinpoint the moments, people and experiences that trigger these feelings. Even if your whole life feels like it's in a funk, you have to start noticing more specific moments that cause that feeling in order to start making positive changes.

2) Dig deep into your triggers in order to gain insight on the real issue.

Let's say that you've been logging for the last couple of weeks and have discovered that your job leaves you feeling drained and dissatisfied. The next step would be to ask yourself, "What about my job leaves me feeling this way?" Is it that the hours are too long and freedom is nonexistent? Your boss is frustrating or demanding? Or is it that the work is not something you love?

Answering these questions and continuing to dig deeper and deeper will help you uncover the true source of discontent for you. It's not always that you're completely off track in your life; sometimes it's as simple as a tweak to your environment or relationships. But without knowing what specifically doesn't work for you, you'll never be able to create a better situation.

3) Determine what it would take to feel satisfied.

If you've dug deep and uncovered that you're not satisfied with your job because the hours don't provide any freedom or flexibility and you're not doing work that you love, awesome. You have officially identified what's missing in this area of your life! Now we can get into the fun stuff.

What would it take to feel 100 percent satisfied and absolutely overflowing with joy in this area of your life? What would you need to gain, change or eliminate in order to feel amazing?

Again, take some time with this question and be honest with yourself. Set aside any internal or external expectations, such as, "I've got to work at this office because my parents will be disappointed if I don't." "I can't quit this job and travel the world performing poetry because I spent four years in college."

There is no requirement to act on your answers, show them to anyone or have them approved. Simply dream big and be honest.

4) Rinse and repeat.

Go through this process with all the areas and relationships in your life where you're feeling as if something is missing. Continue to dig deep, get honest and dream big.

Take action now.

As I always say, baby steps. What is something you can do right now to create positive changes and eliminate that feeling that something's missing (now that you know what it is)? Don't overwhelm yourself, and don't feel any pressure to change it all today. Just do one thing that will make you feel happy and will help move you one step in a better direction.

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."

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