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Why It's Okay to 'Make a Mess' of Things

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Sometimes -- okay, many times -- in this life, you're going to build things up in a certain way, just to tear it all down and start again. There are few (if any) people in this world who build a life and get it right the first time. You have more than "one shot" to create a life you love.

So you went to college for forever years and a lot of money to become a lawyer, only to realize you hate everything about the law (and the big city) and just want to paint your days away on a farm in rural America.

So you married your high school sweetheart (he's a nice guy) and settled into domestic life (in a nice town), maybe even popped out a kid or two, only to realize that you want fiery, passionate love, to travel the world and sing in a rock band.

So you built up a business, filled your client docket and started making a name for yourself, only to decide it's not right and you want to do something completely different... about three or four times now.

That's okay, and it's more than normal.

As we have different life experiences and relationships, we change. We learn and grow and shift. There's no point at which this stops. As long as you're alive, change is inevitable. So instead of beating yourself up when something in your life no longer serves you, welcome it with open arms; it's all part of the journey.

You don't have to do or be what you said you wanted to do or be in the past. It's the present, and if it no longer fits and serves you, then do or be something else.

You have permission to change your mind.

You have permission to flip flop on what you believe because you learned or experienced something new. Maybe you didn't really get it before. Maybe you just weren't ready for the lesson or the lightbulb moment. It doesn't matter why you felt differently before; it only matters why you feel what you feel right now. So what if you originally wanted X and now you want Y? What's the big deal? Really? Just because you went on and on about how much you loved or wanted something for half a decade (or just a week) doesn't mean you're not allowed to get tired of it and crave something different.

You have permission to do what's best for you.

Change makes people uncomfortable, yes, but that's not your problem. If you decide to start living a healthy lifestyle, move halfway across the country or quit a perfectly good job, so long as it's what's best for you and your needs and you're not intentionally causing harm to anyone else, more power to you! You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If it feels right, it feels right. If it's time to change, it's time to change.

You have permission to tear it all down and start again.

I'm no stranger to building up an amazing life only to take a good hard look and say, "Nope, this isn't what I want." When you've put time, energy, heart and soul into a certain kind of life (or job, relationship, identity, etc.), it can be scary and uncomfortable to tear it all down, to leave a long-term relationship, quit a job (or switch careers), or walk away from the ease, comfort and security of it all. But sometimes you have to make a mess of things to find the joy and fulfillment you desire and deserve. And let me tell you, sometimes it's actually easier to take a sledgehammer to all that you've built up rather than waiting for it to painfully unravel over time. Because if it's not right, trust me, it will unravel.

So tell me, what do you want to change in your life?

Leave a comment below and share one thing, defining aspect of your life, or relationship that no longer serves you. What's keeping you from making the changes you need to make? Who are you afraid of disappointing? Where are you being prideful? Then tell me one thing you're going to do today to start moving the right direction.

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Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."

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