This year has been the year where I really found my people.
I let go of hands that no longer fit, and settled into relationships with those who were once acquaintances and have now become my very best friends. People who get me on levels no one ever has.
I met the most amazing man, a sweet soul who was made for me and who I'm so excited to walk this life with. Who supports me and cares for me in ways that make me feel safe and loved and adored. A true partner.
Mentors who push me to be the best version of myself in my life and relationships and work, who inspire me to step it up. Who give me new tools and guide me when I'm stuck with love and wisdom.
Entrepreneurial friends who not only support me in building my tiny little online empire, but show up for me in ways no other friends ever have. Who give me their cars and spaces and time and resources.
I feel blessed. I feel supported. I feel loved.
And I've also never felt more alone.
Let me be clear... this isn't another post about not belonging (something I've written about many, many times). This isn't a post about relationships or finding your tribe. It's not about learning to receive support (a huge lesson for me this year). Nope, it's not about any of those things.
This is a post about the work.
The work that's waiting to be birthed from within me. The work that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I'm called to do in this life. The work that has taken me deeper and deeper into a space of the unknown. Into uncharted territory, where there are no maps.
I'm learning how necessary this part is.
The part with no map, where no one can really guide you, because no one's ever been there. At least not in the way you plan to be. Because when you want to create change in the world and others -- to have an impact -- it often requires that you do something new and different. That you take the road less traveled. That you find your own voice and path and way of showing up.
And it's lonely.
It's scary.
It's exhausting.
It feels like everyone's having a rockin' good time around the fire, planning to trek up the mountain together in the morning... and you're being called away from the warmth and love and security of the people you know. The people who have the map and the knowledge. All because something inside of you says you need to go another way. Up the back side of the mountain in the middle of the night, by yourself, where it's muddy and cold and there's no clear path.
You can hear everyone laughing and carrying on, and every bone in your weary, cold body wants to go back to the fire. But something inside that you can't explain keeps calling you up and away. It's lonely and scary and exhausting. All you can do is hope that you make it out of this alive and whole and with some semblance of clarity, and that the people you love are waiting for you at the top.
Because, while there may be people who appear along the way with words of wisdom and smiles of hope, you are the only one who can make the journey up the back of this mountain with no trail.
A very close friend of mine spent the last year of his life in near isolation, working a ridiculous amount of hours, all while risking losing everything. Because it's what the work asked of him. It's what needed to happen for him to create something amazing, that will have a big impact in his industry, around something that's meaningful to him. He was asked to step back and away, so that something could be birthed from within, for no other reason than it needed to be birthed.
I've read stories of entrepreneurs and change makers and authors who've basically had to do the same. Step back. Let everything and everyone fall away. Wander alone. Find the answers for themselves, with no map or mentor or clear path.
And as I've begun to step back and away, so I can walk the path that's calling to me, I just want to admit how truly terrifying it is.
How truly isolating it can feel, no matter how many beautiful, brilliant souls surround you. Because you know that this journey is different from the rest, and no matter how many people try to give advice and guidance, they really have no idea what it takes. You are the only one who will be able to say what it takes to travel this path, but not until you're done. Not until you've reached the top.
And there's no telling if, or when, you're going to reach it.
So you channel all the trust and faith your little heart can hold, and you keep on walking deeper into the darkness, mapping each step you take as you go. Working through obstacles as they come. Battling the demons and monsters that try to consume you. Clawing your way up and through something that makes no sense.
For no other reason than you absolutely must.
So whether you're just beginning to hear the tiny whisper of a call, or you're deep in the mud of your own journey, just know that I feel you. More than that, I honor you and your courage, because it takes a helluva lot of trust, faith, and courage to wander where there are no maps.
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique and author of Awesome Life Tips book. Through her Mastery program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy™ video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question!
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