Kris Allen Tops Susan Boyle For 'Britain's Got Talent' Crown: AT&T Admits Overeager Employees Helped Fans Text For Kris

In a shocker that had Clay Aiken's ears bleeding, American Idol champ Kris Allen, who did not even participate, won first place in Saturday's Britain's Got Talent final, beating out odds on favorite, Susan Boyle.

"I'm sorry, I don't even know what to feel right now. This is crazy," said a stunned Allen, 23, of Conway, Ark. "I don't even know where England is."

While there are those who believe that zealous Christians wouldn't vote for the overt sexiness of the siganture Boyle shimmy that the silvery-toned temptress titillated fans with after each performance, late reports reveal that a few overeager AT&T employees READ THE REST OF THE SHOCKING ENGLISH BIAS HERE

Award-winning TV writer Steve Young is author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" www.greatfailure.com and blogs at the appropriately-named SteveYoungonPolitics.com