THE BLOG
03/11/2013 05:46 pm ET Updated May 11, 2013

President Mitt Romney

I have recurring nightmares that Mitt Romney is president.

Three nights ago, I dreamt that President Romney appointed to head the SEC a lawyer who had represented JPMorgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, Deloitte & Touche, former Bank of America Corp. chief Ken Lewis and convicted Goldman Sachs director Rajat Gupta. In my dream I expected President Romney would be in bed with the bankers, but I never imagined he would have the chutzpah to appoint a wolf to guard chicken coop. I woke up sweating and scared.

Two nights ago, I dreamt that President Romney had authorized drone strikes on American citizens. He had crackpot right-wing lawyers construct the insane theory that the president of the United States could kill anybody whenever he felt like it. I knew President Romney was unlikely to champion civil liberties, but I never imagined he would claim the right to kill people he did not like. I woke up terrified. "President Romney is trying to kill me with drones," I screamed.

"Relax," said my wife. "You were having a nightmare. Barack Obama is President."

Last night, I dreamt that President Romney was raising $50 million for an advocacy lobby that employed his former campaign aids. "Less than three months into his administration and Romney is trying to subvert our democratic processes," I cried.

Even more frightening, Romney structured this scam so donations would be tax deductible. His sham front, Organizing for Action, was set up as a tax-exempt "social welfare group." That also freed it from restrictions imposed by federal contribution limits and laws that bar White House officials from soliciting contributions.

The nightmare became horrifying as I realized that under President Romney everything in government was for sale. For $500,000 one could join the a national advisory board for Mr. Romney's group and the privilege of attending quarterly meetings with the president, along with other meetings at the White House.

I woke up screaming, "I am petrified. Romney is president and everything is for sale! I knew this would happen if we elected a money grubbing Bain Capital partner as President."

"Relax, " my wife said. "You were having a bad dream. Obama is president."

"Thank God," I said. "Because I also dreamt that President Romney had been unable to avoid sequestration. It was a mess."

"You don't need to worry," my wife said. "Obama is president. Go back to sleep."

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