07/19/2012 09:40 am ET | Updated Sep 18, 2012

To Bain Or Not To Bain?

The presidential election hinges on whether "bain" become a verb. already recognizes "bork" " and "swiftboating."

• Bork: to attack (a candidate or public figure) systematically, especially in the media.

• Swiftboating: American political jargon that is used as a strong pejorative description of some kind of attack that the speaker considers unfair or untrue -- for example, an ad hominem attack or a smear campaign.

These became words through triumph. Bork was successfully borked and Kerry was successfully Swiftboated. Thankfully, the Birthers failed. We will not read about candidates being "birthed."

If the Democrats succeed in using Bain Capital to paint Romney as an out-of-touch greedster who made megabucks while shipping jobs to Asia and bankrupting companies, they will have "bained" him, and we will have a gained a new word.

The creation of new words is what keeps the English language vital, relevant, and robust. In the future orators may proclaim:

• I came. I saw. I bained.

• We have met the enemy and they are bained.

• That which doesn't bain us makes us stronger.

• I have not yet begun to bain.

• We shall bain them on the beaches, we shall bain them on the landing grounds, we shall bain them in the fields and in the streets, we shall bain them in the hills;

• In war there is no substitute for baining.

• You can bain some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not bain all of the people all of the time.