Queeries: Can Boyfriends Make out in Public?

Public Displays of Affection

Q: Can a gay or lesbian couple kiss in public? On the cheek or on the lips? How about holding hands? -- Touchy feely

A: Yes, yes, yes and yes! Of course, it depends where you are.

Ah, the PDA question (that's public display of affection for those new to the acronym). Here's a real-life story from my extended family: "Mary and I had been visiting my family for the holidays, along with my brother, sister and their spouses," e-mailed Vicki. "Like my siblings, we held hands from time to time and even kissed each other warmly -- but certainly not open-mouthed! Late in the day, my mother took me aside and said sternly, 'There'll be no touching in this house.' I asked, 'Does that apply only to Mary and me or to everyone, including the family heterosexuals?' That stymied her."

The rules about showing affection publicly are the same for gay men and lesbians as they are for straight folks. However, the acceptable public behaviors we exhibit -- regardless of our sexuality -- are different, say, whether we're in a nightclub, bar or movie theater versus a church, classroom or a family dinner. Generally, hand-holding, eye-gazing and light kissing are perfectly fine in public; groping, tongue-kissing and touching below the waist are not.

Two caveats:

• No matter what the rules: If you ever feel as though any public display may result in physical harm, refrain and leave the scene.

• Some of us have relied on overt displays. For instance, public "kiss-ins" as a legitimate means of political theater or free speech (so-to-speak). Right on! Again, just be sure to consider the context and your safety.

One caution: Think twice about talking back to your mother!

Note for straights: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. This is the basis for equality.

Visit Steven Petrow on the Web at www.gayandlesbianmanners.com

 

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Comments

[LeftRight]

While I will admit that I don't like the thought of two men kissing (no such problem with two women, Grada3784 already explained why....) I also admit that I will hold my wife's hand in public, and even occasionally give her a quick kiss. If it's okay for the two of us to do so, why WOULDN'T it be okay for two gay men in love to do the same thing??????

And for what it's worth, my daughter and her girlfriend were concerned about her aunt, since she's an extreme born-again..... Then she met the girlfriend and showed that even those who want to shower the world with Christ can be accepting of someone that they don't necessarily agree with!

[Steven Petrow - Huffpost Blogger]

monkey daddy -- completely agree with you about folks of all stripes needing to take a room when it gets too hot.

[MonkeyDaddy]

I think equality means that all orientations use common sense with regard to PDA. I saw a straight couple going at it full bore in a car in a mall parking lot when I had my kid with me and there were lots of other families around. At some point everyone needs to just get a room. On the other hand, my daughter went to an Indigo Girls concert and saw two women having a wedding ceremony on the lawn and the joyful PDA was very sweet to see. I do find it interesting that PDA between women appears to be accepted much more than PDA between men.

[Grada3784]

Not only are 2 women construed as a lot less threatening to most men, but many men will have their XXX gene activated by 2 women.