I Hate America!

And therefore, I will be supporting the same policies which led directly to the current fiscal crisis and everything else related to Ronald Reagan's universally discredited theory of trickle-down economics.

I will seek to abolish a woman's right to choose and decry the unholy unions of gay men and women.

I like an unhealthy and undereducated population. Therefore I will support more cuts to education than have ever been cut before and fight for real deregulation of the produce companies and meat packing and poultry industries to loosen their hygiene requirements and relax concerns about humane treatment.

I will launch round the clock attacks on President Obama and his policies while disingenuously insisting that I am in no way racist or a sore loser.

I want to see John Boehner's face on a bill of legal tender and call it "a tanback".

I support ratcheting up military spending for useless military hardware and technically unfeasible programs like SDI; also, I am in favor of building a bigger nuclear arsenal and unilaterally launching wars around the globe in order to secure our dependence on oil. I will lobby to make "diplomacy" a naughty word along with "fetus" and "change".

I support officially eradicating the middle class and making fringe Christianity the official religion of the United States of America, while simultaneously adding Intelligent Design to all science curricula.

I am in favor of keeping pharmaceutical companies unimaginably wealthy and beyond proper policing, assuring that our elderly and poor are unable to afford medication for the problems caused by all that I have outlined above. That goes double for banks, insurance companies and lending firms.

I think guns should be available to anyone and everyone, whenever and wherever they want them.

I think Jay Leno should have his own network.

I will be campaigning vigorously for the election of Sarah Palin for president of the United States in 2012.

Wow. That was easy!

 

 

Comments

[Social Construct]

In the words of Rev. R.W. Schambach, "Say AMEN, Somebody!"
I just love a good, old fashioned tent revival.

[Countess]

Palin will eventually become president as ignorance becomes even more common if you can imagine this possibility. American women will lose all their rights in the new theocracy. Oklahoma is the future!

[EbonBear]

I do feel sorry for Jay Leno.

[shel3364]

Where'd you get a copy of the GOP oath of membership? (except for the Leno thing.... say "Beck" and you're batting 1.000)

[janie@atthelake]

Spot on.

[Sandy484]

I have decided that the comedic talent that you have is an escape from the relentless, left-wing, dogma that is nothing less than sobering, even if you'd just had half a bottle of "breakfast wine."

We all know that trickle-down economics will not improve the economic standing of lower/middle classes, based on 50 years of data. Lest we forget that economic growth fell to negative levels in 1991, due to the Reagan-Bush administrations. However, why do we expect the rich to continually pay higher taxes through our "progressive" tax system? Isn't that, in essence, penalizing the rich?

60 million Americans are obese, caused by the hand that feeds it. Obesity leads to high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, colon, breast, and prostate cancers. Could it be that Americans have brought this on themselves? Would it be too much to ask, to expect Americans to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?

Are we always going to blame Big Tobacco for our smoking habit? It must be someone else's fault.

Unimaginably wealthy is not how I would describe the pharmaceutical industry. The cost of R&D, marketing, and clinical development accounts for half of the expense of a drug (about $1 billion). Pharmaceutical companies must make up for this exorbitant cost by charging a price that will take them beyond a breakeven point.

Americans must stop the notion that they can engage in any behavior, disregarding potential consequences, expecting a "quick and dirty" solution should the unpleasant results come calling.

[Jesster]

Yes, but... (and first off, EXCUSE ME? If they are struggling to reach a "breakeven point" they where do the huge profits and CEO/Executive "compensation packages" come from?) ALSO:

Taxpayers pay for a lot of R & D and lengthy patent protection keep many "miracle drugs" out of reach (costwise) for those who need them desperately.

Expensive TV (and other) advertising not only accounts for a large percent of the price (cost) of these medicine PLUS they create demand for products/medicines that may not be necessary or even detrimental.

Doctors who are swamped with paperwork and the red tape required by insanely complex and confusing Insurance companies (among other conflicts of interest) tempting some doctors to over-prescribe or perhaps too casually rely on writing prescriptions as a substitute for providing time-consuming HEALTHCARE.

[Sandy484]

Jesster . . . . thanks for the reply.

Although I do not claim to be omniscient on the subject, taxpayers do not pay for R & D until the cost of research and development has already been incurred, typically years before any cost recovery is available through the consumer.

The "demand" that advertising creates sounds like capitalism at its best.

Have a good weekend!

[belly dancer]

32 billion on research and development
71 billion on marketing and administration
39 billion in profits
Drug company profit margin is 16%
The average profit margin for a fortune 500 company is 6%

So when they say they need all this money to cover their research costs they are not exactly telling the truth…they are being greedy d!cks

[EbonBear]

The highest tax rate during the Eisenhower era was around 90% and the gap between rich and poor was far smaller. You could keep a family in a decent style, not luxury but decent, on a single salary and many did. People were still rich, they still made fortunes and they did so honourably (discounting Henry Ford's personal views), without opressing their employees. And they didn't flee the country, as right-wing propganda would suggest.

Then along came Reagan and trickle-down economics. The highest rate of income tax was slashed, the gap between rich and poor exploded and now, you need two or three jobs to support a family and even then, you might not be able to do it in decent style. Clinton didn't dare do half of what was necessary to repair the damage. In real terms, wages have fallen 14% (twice or triple that in some sectors) in the last thirty years. You now have a generation who work longer for less than their fathers did. Their fathers worked hard and made a decent wage. We work like slaves for pittance wages.

Now, I'm not arguing for a 90% tax. I think a progressive tax, topping out at 50% on incomes over 1.5 million, would be plenty but the ultra-rich and the corporations they own and run, now own the political system and they're damn near to starting another civil war just because the insurance companies are going to make a bit less.

[Francesca1214]

Sandy, I think I need a glass of your Kool-Aid.

[S1m0n]

"However, why do we expect the rich to continually pay higher taxes through our "progressive" tax system? Isn't that, in essence, penalizing the rich?"

Because you can't raise enough revenue by penalizing the poor, or by only taxing the rich at the same rate the poorest can afford.

[Budokan]

haha, well, no one ever accused conservatives of being long on brains

[LMPE]

That basically sums up the right-wing mentality.

[Gidster]

The right wing agenda....­..and conservative ideology! A return to 1865

[elmerfude]

This is so funny! Thanks

[mamalisa38]

Watching the Republican party is like watching and old Twilight Zone.

[ReealOne]

Steven Weber.... YOU are one of my heros!! I read your op-ed this morning, just as I got into work, and it had me laughing hysterically. As my co-workers came running over to my rescue, I had to share it with them, at which time, we all ended up laughing hysterically. Then we all said at once.... this was a great way to start a much awaited weekend... with hysterical laughter!!!

You should entitle this piece..." The 11 commandments of the gop/republican party". Lord knows they work at each of their "commandments" each and every day.... with all of their might.

Thanks again for making a s-l-o-w Friday... so much fun!!

[TomR]

----
I want to see John Boehner's face on a bill of legal tender and call it "a tanback".
----

Yes, and let's lobby for the Boehner tanback on a new $3 denomination.

Of course, this will inspire the sequel "All About the Boehners," but the tagline will remain "Money can make people do funny things" for continuity purposes.

- Tom

[TRex86]

I believe what we're seeing is the death throes of the Republican Party. When it becomes impossible to close cognitive dissonance people will succumb to collective madness. They desperately search for a way out of burdensome reality so they create an alternative universe. Unfortunately, now that the rethugs are out of power they cannot sustainthe dream state in which they have snoozed since 1981. This is a major cyclical change, which comes with great anguish. The generations are aligned in a way that strongly favors the idealistic Baby Boomers at the expense of the cynics, nihilists and servants of the plutocracy. What this means is that it's up to us, the aging Boomers to live up to our bygone ideals. There was nothing wrong with them other than their threat to the ruling class. Peace, love, rock-and-roll, with maybe a few legalized chemicals--what could be wrong with that? And congratulations to Obama on the Nobel Peace Prize. what a proud moment for America.

[anachoret]

You forgot to cheer for every natural disaster that strikes urban centers, crediting them to the wrath of God and His wish to smite the sinners within'.

[ewoman]

I read through your list and the first word that came to my mind was "genocide.­" Until now, I did not realize that this is what the RNC is after - ridding the country (and then the world) of anything other than rich white men. Of course, a trophy wife for president would be just one symptom of eugenics.

[FlamingLibrul]

If you read the statements of outrage regarding President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize- from the Tal iban and the GOP- they are pretty much interchangeable. What does that tell you? Everything you need to know about the regressive party of anti-patriots.

[Gidster]

Good one!!!!