Technologie Macht Freiheit!

While our eyeballs are trained perpetually downward at iPhones, Sidekicks, MotoQ's or any other miniscule, glowing screens, causing the population to sprout multiple chins and endangering oncoming pedestrians and/or vehicles (replacing the act of looking south to avoid stepping in dog offal. I mean, that we're still dealing with that scourge alone is enraging and can't Bush appoint a Canine Shit Czar before he leaves?), our thumbs toggling away to send abbreviated texts and comic book smiley faces to equally inane queries about "whatchu up 2?" and "r u ok?", the real world thrums over our declined heads with nary a whoosh to distract them.

Navel-gazing has gone cyber-global and introspection goes no further than vanquishing hordes of the undead or listening to disposable pop tripe while muscularly thumbed masses tune out the white noise that constitutes Life. Since the current evolutionary development of homo sapiens permits them to see only as far as their sweet tooths or their wallets, the virtual obliteration of educational material from the mainstream creates a gaping void in the collective consciousness that is capped by drivel utterly devoid of meaningful substance, the very stuff that would lend perspective to current events. Like pixels viewed up close, they have no discernible function other than to mimic a 3D crystalline structure that we might've found in the real world had we looked up from our sternums. But pull away and you begin to see it's place in the scheme of things. It begins to make sense. It is the shiny, dangling bait on the colossal hook. "Look down here" means "don't look up here".

Great strides in technology have translated to great leaps in passivity. Yes, yes, yes, modern technology is a marvel, having impacted scientific research, medicine, blah frikkin' blah blah. But the spread of these advances has become literally viral, the high-tech equivalent of athlete's foot, and just as beneficial to humanity. While my own typing skills have improved dramatically, I can barely hold the gaze of anyone asking me the time. And with so many more sources of radiation held at such dramatic propinquity, we're potentially creating a new way to communicate with each other and unify the disparate sects that make up our divided, misanthropic society. A new, cool tool that will cease thumbs a-toggling and set hearts and minds a-throbbing:

It's Tumor-Vision.

Imagine everyone being riddled with misshapen lumps and irregularly bordered moles and looking cock-eyed and walking at strange angles, all due to the incessant exposure from radiation emanating from every computer and television and phone and iPod screen combined! Imagine everyone experiencing the same spreading aches and surprised by the same rogue twinges from the malignancies that would thrive in our lymphatic systems and our brains, muscles, bones and skin! Why, there would be no more racism! No more class struggle! No more runway models! No more war! We'd all have tumors! We'd be free from the yoke of comnsumerism! Free from the stinging lash of materialism! Free! Free! Halleberry! I mean, Hallelujah!

As I lie back on the grassy knoll, staring dreamily into the brown sky, I want to shout my earth shattering epiphany to the world:

wan2tlk ; )?

Comments

[givemycountryback]

Watch the movie Idiocracy, I think thats what it is called. It is so humorous, but it is about the dumbing down of america which I think is happening to our young people. Just because you can push buttons at lightning speed, that does not prove intelligence. I think in the future, there will not be libraries, only virtual libraries, which no one will "visit" because of information overload. I hate to say it, but wasn't that bomber guy against technology?

[newsweek1945]

STEVEN, YOU HAVE IMPRESSED ME SINCE YOUR DEFINITIVE SOLILIQUOY IN "HAMBURGER HILL". IT WAS TO THE POINT AS ARE YOUR OBSERVATIONS. CHECK OUT "MIDNIGHT IN AMERICA", COMPOSED BY GIL-SCOTT HERON. OK,?

[davidly]

I hope I don't get a tumor before I get my iPhone implant; I hate having to look down.

[RadRobin]

All true, Mr. Webber! Everything you say is spot on. But, seriously, the bulk of America does not live in the world you describe (move to another part of the world - Sam Shephard has the right idear!). Most Americans are struggling night and day to keep a roof overhead, to get something decent to eat, to just get through the day with no hope for the true American dream: a meaningful retirement (most of us will work till we fall over dead. God forbid we need a tooth fixed! We are not looking for lint in our bellybuttons. No. We are just trying to soldier on each day in our underpaid jobs and trying to get enough sleep each night so we can endure our McJobs.

Sure, you can write such an essay. But it doesn't apply to the majority. Unfortunately, it *does* apply to a powerful sect in our society: that population who still has a voice and a face. And boy are they falling for the Soma trick! God help us.

Splendid essay, Mr. Webber. As always. It's a delight to read your wordcraft. I smile almost as much as I do when I read Twain or Emerson.

And thanks for the new word: Offal. Sums it up, doesn't it?

[Writerchick]

Steverino, you are too wise a guy.

Have you read "Cell" by Stephen King? Somehow your post reminded me of that.

We feel more comfortable texting, emailing and using this mondo-retardo technology than being face to face or even ear to ear.

How many times (and be truthful, here) have you, me or any of us been disappointed when the person we are phoning actually picks up the phone and we have to speak words to them? Real words, not "message speak." Not 15 seconds of air-filling junk syllables, but commune-ic­k-ation...­(sigh).

Alas, I fear we must all take lengthy vacations to Nobarland (some place in New Hampshire, I think), where we look at the stars...the real ones, not the polystyren­e-breasted­, anorexic, child-neglecting ones.

We would look up into that dark velveteen sky & think of WHY we are here on earth, and how we can help each other, love each other & make chicken salad sandwiches for each other whilst dangling our feet in salty pools of Atlantic or Pacific and not thinking once of the beckoning computer screen or iPod/Phone/Brain.

Oh, damn! I forgot to watch "Desperate Housewives" last night and have to watch it online.

Love you, Steve. Love you, oh so much!

[BrenDavis]

With the so-called endgame being a nebulous-at-best concept in these matters - since the repercussions of our current choices will indeed echo for all eternity, much like the Asian butterfly's wings unwittingly help to fan the flames in Malibu as I type this - I recall my ethics professor's admonition that the only intellectually meaningful statements one can truly make regarding a given situation are those that speak to the "now".

Bearing that in mind and doing my best to say it in E-Prime: vis-a-vis modern society, it appears to me that Huxley - as opposed to Orwell - got it mostly right.

Fantastico!

[realitytrumpsbull]

I think people are mainly bored...and the
technotoyz fill the time...and as the factories
in asia faithully turn them out, advancing their
R&D while we live the Comfy Life...wel­l...hmmm..­.

[ponderman]

Many years ago, I heard about a person who had braces on his teeth, and was surprised one day when he heard music from a radio station coming from his mouth. I don't know if it was true, but I've wondered about it over the years.

Many people today have steel in their bodies, from hip or knee replacements to braces. I know a couple of WW2 veterans who have steel plates in their heads from war injuries.

I wonder what effect that all the rf energy going through our bodies - 24/7 - could have. There does seem that there is a lot of very strange behavior around these days. But then, maybe it's from inhaling too many fumes from auto exhausts.

[davidly]

It was a filling, and it was on Gilligan's Island.

[godlessclif]

It actually happened to Lucille Ball during WWII.
She picked up Japanese radio on her braces.

[RumiSouth]

In the future, no one will know how to type with any fingers other than two thumbs.

[nowaterboardUSA]

And I thought it was the radiation from nuke war that made the humans of 3056 AD (Planet of The Apes) mute. Now I have a new theory thanks to you - we humans get so wrapped up with high-tech interaction in a few generations we LITERALLY forget how to use our vocal cords. I saw the first sign of this with the fading from glory of the screaming metal singers of yesteryear.

[PeterM]

"It is the shiny, dangling bait on the colossal hook. "Look down here" means "don't look up here"."

Excellent perspective! This is the ultimate modus operandi of a massive effort to control people's minds and of social control. The best part, it is all voluntary and so simple. In the large perspective it works just like an ant poison or mouse trap - never for the ultimate benefit of the recipients. The "benefit" of this technology is the ultimate paradox. It "saves" us so much time and effort that we become completely dependent on it and ultimately enslaved by it with time for little else.
It used to be said that technology would increase social progress and it was true up to a point, unfortunately it was not realised that this curve is a bell curve with a peak and negative slope thereafter.

The political implications for humanity will be devastating and we can see the effects kicking in.

[2Truthy]

"But the spread of these advances has become literally viral, the high-tech equivalent of athlete's foot, and just as beneficial to humanity."

Yes, PeterM! Sliding down this negative slope of the bell curve, cellphones will be mowing lawns in the not so distant future. To what avail? To their exclusive benefit, green technology elites sees $$$$ in oh-so many ways...

[Meanwhile]

So bitter! And the saddest part is that I cannot disagree with a word you've written.

So I will quibble about how you've written it because I am feeling very petty today, and also because I feel that those who use big words should make every effort to use them correctly.

If the spread of technological advances had become LITERALLY viral, that would mean that they were being caused by actual viruses -- microscopic pseudo-organisms. Furthermore, athlete's foot is not the best analogy as it is caused by a fungus, not a virus.

Also, LCD displays, which have become pretty much the norm (thanks to technological advances!), emit practically NO radiation compared to the cathode ray tubes of olden times (olden times being 15 years ago).

[2Truthy]

Meanwhile: Fine point about the 'athlete's foot' analogy. Given the context, might not herpes or road rage be more appropriate?

[quietcanada]

You surprise me yet again.

.... not that you care but.....

you do give me faith in the future.

Thank you for speaking and for speaking as well as you have ---(i'm still not convinced you don't use a ghost blogger).

In case it happens ..... I would go and see a movie of yours just to contribute .

Mark

W

[MNinWI]

If you'd like to expand your horizons and be enlightened and entertained a bit, go to the48er.com and what's happening there. You can also hear a podcast.

[DaDenMan]

This took a bit to bring up on the Blackberry, but ya man...spot on...