A Whole Lotta Stupid

11/16/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

In a few weeks close to fifty million Americans will vote against their own interests by choosing John McCain. Why? Idealism, greed, racism, and fear for starters. I tend to believe the main reason is stupidity.

I grew up on Long Island and spent two summers as a toll keeper on the Atlantic Beach Bridge. Great job if you love the outdoors and don't mind emphysema. About a mile from the toll plaza was a sign that read: "Toll Ahead 50 Cents". A similar sign appeared about a half mile closer.

As you approached the tollbooth, a very large sign on plaza read: "Slow Down. Pay Toll. 50 cents." As you pulled into my lane there was a blinking sign that read "50 cents." When I leaned out the window of my booth, a neon sign flashed right in the driver's face "50 cents." Over the course of one eight-hour shift, at least thirty people would ask me "How much?" "One dollar" I'd reply. Nine times out of ten they'd pay it. I'd ring up the 50 cents and pocket the rest.

Now this was a suburb of New York City and the people in the cars were, for the most part, savvy Manhattanites. Can you imagine if I worked at a bridge today in oh, let's say West Virginia and the traffic was all heading to a McCain/Palin rally? I'd make a mint and retire early.

If you think Obama is a Muslim, you're stupid. If you think he's a terrorist, you're a dope. If you think Sarah Palin would make a good President, send me fifty dollars and I'll pass it on to her. Promise.