A Nudity Experiment: Are You Comfortable Naked?

I'm not.

Last week I performed an experiment. I took off my clothes at a friend's house in front of her and her 15 year old daughter.

Why? Because I want to feel completely unencumbered by my body.  I asked permission, of course. And wore good underwear. my friend, being a good sport, said, "Sure, in the kitchen while I cook up the meat." So we poured ourselves a glass of good red wine, seared some flesh, and heated up the room.

I remember reading about a man in a Tantric workshop who was crippled, yet, when he took off his clothes in front of the group with no artifice everyone saw him as luminous and beautiful. This is what I had in mind for me, in the kitchen. No strip tease, no attitude, no artifice. I wanted to be relaxed and easy, like I am at home in front of my partner, Will, in bright daylight.

At first my friend and her daughter didn't really look. Then they glanced in my direction once in a while. Then finally they drank me in bit by bit. No one said anything about a particular part. No one threw up. I had wanted to walk around, but I found myself rooted behind the table and chairs. That's as comfortable as I could get.

But I did it.

The next morning I told my sweetie, Will, what I had done and his reaction was not what I'd hoped for. "You don't just go to other people's houses and strip off all your clothes." He was furious. I was deeply disappointed. He wouldn't speak to me. I let him be while he thought things out. 

That night, before bedtime, we talked. Will said he felt it was a breach of our intimacy and that I had shared something that was meant just for us. For me it was a daring investigation into how I see and live with my body, a personal test.

"What's next?" Will said. "Nude hot-tubbing with the guys just to see if you can do it? Lady Godiva-ing around your Aikido Dojo?" I can understand his point of view. And by the end of our talk I think he understood mine. I don't feel the need to escalate. It was a mini milestone for me. For the moment I feel complete.

Susan Harrow is the author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. She runs a Media Consultancy where she helps everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to celebrity chefs, entrepreneurs to authors grow their businesses through media coaching and the power of PR. For more information please contact Susan.

 

 

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Comments

[Gertrude Huber]

I am so happy I am married to an European man--he does not mind one bit me being naked or half naked at the beach--no tan lines in strapless dresses LOL.
Some people have grown up in an environment such as my family’s where only 2 out of 5 children feel comfortable with their bodies and I believe it reflects in our lives in every way, shape and form. For some reason, something as simple as feeling at ease with your self and body is transferred to everything else we do in the future.

[Gertrude Huber]

Having grown up in a very strict catholic family from Central America, where I was never allowed to wear a 2 piece bathing suit, I’ve never felt uncomfortable in the nude.
The first time I was completely naked in front of several people was when I had to walk in front of a bunch of boarding school girls... I spent my high school at a boarding school in Atherton, CA. One day Blanca, a mischievous Venezuelan girl, thought that by hiding my towel and robe while taking a shower that I would not get out of the shower out of bashfulness. I believe Blanca had done that before to other girls and these girls cried & screamed while she laughed! But, to her surprise (and the other girls and staff) when she did the very same thing to me, I did not cry or scream. Instead, I walked out of the shower and, at a normal walking pace, walked the corridor, dripping wet, to my room. Of course, I explained to the staff members that Blanca had taken my towel and robe and instead of me getting in trouble, Blanca did.
That high school episode is the first recollection of me being completely naked in front of several people without being inhibited. I guess it’s a matter of feeling at ease with your mind, self & body, regardless of background. Nature or nurture?

[robertreno]

Susan....an interesting, but confusing article. It's hard to tell from your wording if you were actually nude, or kept your underwear on. If you kept it on....it's sort of 1/2 an experiment.....if you were compleletly nude.....you took an interesting step toward body freedom.

Will's reaction....very odd. Very controlling. I'd think he would have been curious, supportive, and interested...not offended.

Take the next step. Go to a nude resort for a day or a weekend. Even take Will along if you think he could handle it. Or, talk your cooperative girl friend and her daughter into going along.

It;s a totally different experence...especially out in the sunshine and breezes. You'll find you have nerve endings that notice the breeze and sun...everywhere.

The first 20 minutes will be odd...uncomfortable...maybe even embarassing. Then, you'll notice no one is paying the slightest attention to you, and the all over feeling will take over. The real discomfort will come at the end of the day or weekend when you have to get dressed again. It's a real shock to find out how restricting clothing really is, and ...all of a sudden...how unnecessary it will seem.

Be brave. Try it. You only live once and I can guarantee you'll enjoy the experience. Just hold your head up, smile at everyone, and relax.

[Susan Harrow - Huffpost Blogger]

nude. no skivvies. totally nude.

[Harlyridr]

I would have welcomed you with open arms Susan, mostly because you have accepted yourself, totally! I have no problem with nudity, it's natural and very free-ing. Too many folks see nudity as a prelude to sex and maybe it is just that for some but for those of us that accept what/who we are, I just let the prudish and the religious types rant knowing that they will never know how good it is to be rid of outer shells that merely hide our humanity. Thanks!

[arabianway]

This is ludicrous on every level.

You go to a friend's house and strip to your underwear in front of her and her teenager while she sears meat?

Then you announce this to your unsuspecting boyfriend, expecting a happy acceptance of this bizarre behavior. Lady, you are out there.

This country has numerous natural and clothing optional hotsprings. I suggest you go to one of them.

[charliemay]

This post by Arabian doesn't make the least bit of sense. So if Susan Harrow was to go to a women's locker room and change clothes for the aerobics' class? Or hopefully she takes a shower in front of other naked women after the workout?

As to her spouse's comment, given his "controlling attitude" I would say " No Will, No way." LOL And find a better guy on Match.com

[Susan Harrow - Huffpost Blogger]

lokita & steve,

so nice to hear from your and get your perspective. i remember you both well and know you come from deep understanding of intimacy. thx for your contribution to people in the larger sense of being free in mind, body, spirit.

[Lokita and Steve Carter - Huffpost Blogger]

Susan, thank you so much for your great post, and taking the lid off nudity in this way! In our tantric teachings www.ecstaticlivng.comm), we celebrate the body as the temple of our spirit . Without it, how could we experience life? It is an amazing and mysterious gift. I congratulate you on your daring investigation and appreciate your friend and her daughter. I'm sure it opened their perspective in many ways, too!

Nudity and "modesty" are such powerful tools for investigating the meaning of intimacy - with ourselves, and our love partner - as well as our personal boundaries and the boundaries of our relationship and living in the body. Plus - perhaps there is a wide-spread myth to be debunked that nudity = sex!

** By the way, thanks again for the seminar on "How to get on Oprah" some years back in San Francisco's Learning Annex. We learned a lot from you!

[deviantdevil]

"It was a mini milestone for me."

Too bad that Will, your sweetie, does not care enough about "You" to be happy for You.

"Will said he felt it was a breach of our intimacy and that I had shared something that was meant just for us."

From My perspective it appears that Will thinks that he owns Your body and mind. A very strong indicator of someone incapable of truly loving another for who the other is.

"For me it was a daring investigation into how I see and live with my body, a personal test."

For You and Your Self I do strongly suggest continuing to investigate who You currently are, who You should have always been, and who You should truly be.

"For the moment I feel complete."

Please do not let Will (and/or the rest of the Will-type society) make You repress that feeling. I agree with others who have posted that You need to get out and away to where You want to be and to Who You desire to be (always) for Your Self.

[sunnybunny]

Wow, you are on your way to discovering naturism, a philosophy of being comfortable with nudity around others without being sexual. It sucks your husband got mad, but you both need to be considerate of each others feelings in all situations - thats part of being married. Not saying he should accept it or that you should not do it - more like I wish you luck working out an acceptable understanding.

[tcotta]

You will find a completely different experience if you are with like minded people. That's the fun of going to nudist resorts, clubs and nude beaches.

What you did was sort of like wearing a bathing suit while shopping at a mall. It is not a regular, normal experience. Whereas if you wore the bathing suite at a beach or pool, it would be normal.

Being in your underwear while a friend and daughter is dressed actually sounds weird to me.

A much more fun experience would be at a nudist club or resort.

The American Association for Nude Recreation is the largest clothes free organization in the US. Go to http://aanrwest.org to find locations for a fun clothes free experience in teh western US.

[rockus]

I personally think that is a super cool. That you have a friend who you can chill with in the skivvies. It is great to have a positive image of our body image. We try to get that into our child's head as well. Congrats and keep up the confidence.