How Republicans Can Recover Congress

Our West Coast associate Scarmouche thinks we should try to be as helpful to the Republicans in their time of need as they were to us.

So since they insist they want religion to have the force of law, here are my suggestions in a form they may recognize:

1. Thou shalt not steal. (And not just you, Denny. All of you.)
2. Thou shalt not bear false witness. No more lying to the American public, especially not to get us into a war. Oh, and that means no more untruthful attacks on your opponents, either. No more playing games with official reports.
3. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Really, guys, try to keep it in your pants for a change. You can't keep lecturing everyone else on morality when your team members keep getting caught with their pants down.
4. Thou shalt not kill. That means everyone: Iraqis and Palestinians, too.
5. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Now, some people interpret this to mean no cursing, but I think it goes deeper than that. I think it means God doesn't like His name used as cover for nefarious purposes. Nuff said!
6. Thou shalt not have strange gods before me. Money and power, boys. Trips you up every time.
7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's House. Well, then! Sounds like you should work with the Democrats in a real spirit of cooperation!
8. Honor thy father and thy mother. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Would your father really be proud of you for stealing and cheating your way to the top? What, were you raised by wolves?
9. Remember to keep holy the Lord's day. Don't go on the Sunday morning talk shows and defile the airwaves with lies and bullshit. Try sincerity - people like that.
10. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image. Stop worshipping the elephant, guys - and stop putting it above everything else.