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Susan Maushart

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Pet Parents are NOT Moms

Posted: 04/27/2012 1:42 pm

"Because Pet Parents Are Moms Too!"

I hate to be a bitch about this -- but hey, female dogs are people too, right? -- but when I read that subject line on an ASPCA email this week, it really gave me hairballs.

I am a pet owner and I am a mom, and frankly, my dear, the two have about as much in common as a goldfish does to Godzilla. Rub my nose in it if you like, but it's about time this whole "Pet Mommy" thing got some serious yanking back.

For years now, it's been accepted usage for pet owners -- invariably child-free pet owners -- to refer to their dogs and cats as their "kids," and to do so without apparent irony. And an estimated $50 billion a year in pet-related goods and services currently fuels this delusion. Doggie daycare. Pet strollers. Halloween costumes. Veterinary insurance.

What? No college fund?

There's even an entire new literary genre riding on the back of our boundary confusion: "dogoir" -- a heartwarming, first person narrative centering on the relationship dynamics between ordinary pet-owners and their spiritually gifted-and-talented woofspring.

Do you feel your ears perking up? Think about it. When's the last time you picked up an inspirational book about child-rearing? Never. Because there is no such thing.

Real parents write bestsellers with titles like Go the F**k to Sleep and The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Real parents write survival guides. Field notes. Training manuals. Not freaking fantasy fiction with fur.

It's become ideologically unsound to say so in public, but you and I both know that pets are stupid. Not just "slow" or "differently intelligent" -- just plain stupid. (When we say a poodle is intelligent, we forget that we are speaking in purely relative terms. Compared to a pincushion, sure.) That's not a moral failing. It's not something we love them in spite of. It's something we love them because of.

These "kids" of ours eat their own vomit, run straight into oncoming traffic and hump the furniture. Hello? Is that a reflection of their intelligence? Even more to the point, is that a reflection on our "parenting"?

I could be wrong, but it seems to me significant that we cannot crate our children. Nor can we expect them to heel, appreciate table scraps or take well to shock-collaring. At the same time, we do not fight for Angry Birds access with our cats. Our dogs waste little time on social media, and can almost always be counted on to say 'no' to drugs. And if they dress provocatively, I think it's fair to say we only have ourselves to blame.

This Mothers Day, let's remember that, as much as we adore our animals -- and full disclosure: I dressed my pug as a monarch butterfly last Halloween, and it was awesome -- they are not our children. To pretend otherwise makes monkeys of all of us.

 

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"Because Pet Parents Are Moms Too!" I hate to be a bitch about this -- but hey, female dogs are people too, right? -- but when I read that subject line on an ASPCA email this week, it really gave m...
"Because Pet Parents Are Moms Too!" I hate to be a bitch about this -- but hey, female dogs are people too, right? -- but when I read that subject line on an ASPCA email this week, it really gave m...
 
 
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09:10 PM on 06/25/2012
LOLOL. U kinna right. Some pet moms are pet dads!!! Srsly, chris hugh our fren, not our mom! Summa ur commenters kinna mean, all upset. Chris say, lol, "they had kittens". is old fashioned expression for sumone who go all batsh*t ober nuthin. I sorry bout spellin not so good. Ima cat. I think u okay. I no make funna your name. I sorry peeps mean to u.
10:41 PM on 06/25/2012
Uh, I sorry, chris. I borrowed ur account to make my comment. I has own account now. Sorry.
07:52 AM on 05/31/2012
I find it humorous that everyone is speaking about compassion and understanding, while verbally destroying Susan. Compassion is also the ability to forgive people for slighting our ego.
12:51 PM on 05/29/2012
I reproduce here an uncopyrighted sentiment that applies... (edited for brevity)

"From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up, it's just a dog," or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog." They don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent, or the costs involved for "just a dog."....

...If you, too, think it's "just a dog," then you will probably understand phases like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise." "Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy. "Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that make me a better person.

Because of "just a dog" I will rise early, take long walks and look longingly to the future. So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog" but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future, the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.

"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.   

I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog" but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a human."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog." just smile, because they "just don't understand."
02:32 AM on 05/29/2012
You surely do not suggest that mentally challenged humans are therefore of a level that deserves your disdain. I find the fact that you needed to write this article a desperate grasp at relevance.

The fictitious book titles you wrote of that "real parents" write such as "Go the F**ck to Sleep" (nice sentiment ny the way) cause me to fear for the mental well being of your own human children.

Just because others find happiness in ways you don't understand is no reason to aim your nasty sentiments at the happier individuals of the world.
08:12 AM on 05/29/2012
Those are actual books. Look them up.
12:34 PM on 05/29/2012
Thanks for pointing that out...must put those on my "Why I Fear for Mankind" list. I am no less disgusted by the this vomit which is really a thinly veiled journalistic stunt to drive hits to this page.

Some people should be spayed.
03:28 AM on 05/28/2012
Give it a rest! These pet "mommies" (and "daddies) aren't hurting anybody. There are WAY worse things for people to pretend about. Now you got your attention with this rant, er, I mean article, just leave those folks alone.
05:27 PM on 05/27/2012
Why bother having this discussion? If you have never had a child of your own (for the record nieces/nephews, stepchildren, and godchildren do NOT count) for whatever reason, it is IMPOSSIBLE to know what it is like and how DIFFERENT it is.
12:59 PM on 05/29/2012
The natural human instinct to put their progeny first is just that....instinct. It makes one no less noble, righteous, or altruistic - it's your JOB as a Mother. Mother's Day is your yearly "pat on the back." What else do you want? a cookie?
03:23 PM on 06/04/2012
My friend who adopted her kids is going to be crushed to find out she doesn't deserve Mother's Day cards. I will also let my other friend know that will he no longer have to worry himself sick about his step-daughter, who has called him her daddy for the last 16 years, going off the deep-end after her mother committed suicide. I'm sure he will be relieved to find out he doesn't count as a dad, the sperm donor who magically vanished before her birth is a real father.
10:49 AM on 05/27/2012
Who is the "alpha dog" in your household, Ms. Mausher? Is it you or the pug? Just wondering.
09:57 AM on 05/27/2012
You're a pet owner? Seriously? I question your ability to care for your pet. I have no children of my own (and let's not forget women who do not have children have not always made that choice for themselves), but I have several nieces and nephews who I have helped raise and am now sending off to college. My teenagers have done many more stupid things than my pets. And I'm not joking. I have had cats my entire life, and my parents taught me pets are a part of your family. If you don't think so, you shouldn't own one. Both of my current cats are rescues, one of which was thrown away like garbage in a dumpster and subsequently became so sick she was near death. I nursed her back to health, checked on her during the night, came home a at lunch to feed her, doted on her. My "daughters" aren't human, but feelings of love are feelings of love. Let's not forget that. And any animal that has owners that feel that way are very lucky. I doubt your pug is as lucky.
02:53 AM on 05/24/2012
Some of us are not fortunate enough to have our own human children, so why attempt to discredit our bonds with our pets?
08:01 AM on 05/20/2012
Almost all female human beings can breed and reproduce their own young, but it takes a very special human female to take on the responsibility and love to be a true Pet Mom. Fortunately the word Mom is not specific to those who care for their own species, no matter how self important they feel about it...
08:07 AM on 05/20/2012
Like or not Pet Moms (and Dads) are here to stay!
01:42 PM on 06/04/2012
THIS!!! So very true!
03:11 AM on 05/18/2012
and this woman actually got paid for this twaddle

unbelievable
11:59 PM on 05/17/2012
THANK. YOU.

The litany of comments from deranged individuals under the unfortunate delusion that their ownership of an animal somehow makes them parents does nothing other than reinforce the author's fine point.

Animals are wonderful, and I don't even care much for people who don't recognize that. But those of us residing on Planet Earth in mind as well as body are aware that they are NOT people, and their caretakers do NOT qualify as parents based on that alone.

Really, those of you who consider your pets to be human are doing a disservice to both yourself and the animal. These creatures need to be treated with respect, something I've ironically discovered that most obsessive pet owners don't do, because they treat the creatures as if they're something they aren't.

This will be like preaching to a wall, but anyone on here who considers themselves a parent by virtue of dog, cat, fish, or any form of pet ownership would be well advised to take a good look at Werner Herzog's documentary "Grizzly Man," perhaps the most powerful rebuttal of anthropomorphic nonsense ever put to screen. Or at least watch a few episodes of "The Dog Whisperer," where the host has the good sense to try and fix bad owners (of which the vast majority of these posters would doubtlessly qualify).

Kudos to Susan Maushart.
03:13 AM on 05/18/2012
you obviously don't get it, and there's no way you ever will, based on what you wrote here
03:14 AM on 05/18/2012
I feel bad for you
08:44 AM on 05/17/2012
MY BOSTON TERRIER IS SMARTER THAN YOUR HONOR STUDENT, ANY DAY.
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Gizmo9
It's been lovely!
03:56 PM on 05/17/2012
and most likely better behaved as well..
11:07 PM on 05/16/2012
I am a 30 year old childfree woman who had lived with extended family my whole life. This included my mother and grandmother. Although I do not personally call my beloved cat my "baby" nor do I refer to myself as her "mom", my mother and grandmother DO. They tell my cat something along the lines of "go see your mama" when she makes a noise of complaint or is wanting attention, etc. I consider Pan to be my friend, perhaps my best friend, and I recognize her dependance on me. I care for her to the very best of my abilities, and the bond of pet owner and pet is something I take seriously. But if the actual mothers in my life call my care and attention something comparable to a maternal instinct, I have to respect their experience and depth of understanding.
12:48 PM on 05/16/2012
I guess this site hires any nimwhit out there. is this supposed to be journalism? This is the worst article ive ever read. I am a dog owner and there are some pet owners that really go a little overboard. Oh and btw i am also a pit bull owner. I absolutely baby my pets. And tell you what, they might not be my biological children but they show a lot more gratitude and intelligence than many kids out there. unless they get a playstation and a new game every week, they throw a fit. My dogs do not. Grow up and get a real journalism degree because you are the suckiest "journalist" ever