Last Monday, I wrote a little about my response to Osama bin Laden's killing. Upon hearing of his death, most people expressed heartfelt and understandable relief that our hunt for one who wished to destroy us was over. Others participated in "celebrations" that seemed tinged with what could be described kindly as poor sportsmanship.
Feeling relief and even joy at not having to worry about one particular enemy makes a lot of sense, of course. But what I was upset about was our collective inability to think of others as similar to ourselves and to see our victory not as a winning touchdown but as a regrettable necessity that, while bringing us relief, causes others fear and rage. If we are to be true victors, it will be by demonstrating our humility. It will be by acting boldly and doubtlessly to neutralize enemies by peaceful means when possible and, certainly, non-peaceful means when necessary as a final resort. It takes a lot of wisdom to know when to do what here.
I got a lot of feedback that I was being arrogant, judgmental, delusional, and/or some kind of wimp. This really confused and upset me.
What I was calling for -- and will continue to call for, most of all from myself -- is compassion; certainly for those who lost loved ones on 9/11 and for our whole country which has suffered deeply, but also for our "enemies." This is not because I'm some super nice kind of person. I'm not. It's because only by cultivating some kind of empathy rather than hatred can we begin to create lasting change in our world. I want my children and grandchildren to live in a different kind of world, one where they are not in fear of terrorist acts. Escalating violence and retaliation as a matter of course do not lead to this world.
On a scale of one to 10, my certainty on this score is 11.
I believe that the only route is to develop compassionÂate relationshÂips, even with our enemies.ThÂis is a very complex thing and requires the ability to act according to long-term concerns, not short-term ones, which unfortunately lets out almost all politicians who have to be elected or re-elected; short term concerns if ever there were any. Still, someone has got to go first. I suggest that we be that someone. We. Us. You and me.
But how do you do find compassion for someone who wants to kill you? Is it even a good idea or the stupidest thing ever? Some commenters have said things like well, when cornered by a rabid dog, you don't want to say, "Please don't hurt me" and hope for the best; others said that I'm incredibly naïve and probably some kind of Mac user. (Really, that was one of the accusations.) (How did they know?!)
Of course we want to protect ourselves from violence and danger. I'm not counseling stupidity, or what has been called "idiot compassion," which is the idea that you're always supposed to act nice and be some kind of touchy-feely loser.
Compassion is synonymous with skillful action, action that is rooted in seeing reality from the largest perspective possible. When you are able to pay attention to the reality that exists beyond your thoughts about reality, you know what the next right action is. If you need to love, you love. If you need to avoid, you avoid. If you need to cut, you cut. There is a sense of precision and elegance and kindness in all cases. You know how to end violent situations, not escalate them.
To do this, it helps to put aside your assumptions, judgments, and projections -- and simply look. You open, even to what and whom you dislike. This doesn't mean forgiving or liking anyone -- it simply means taking them in as flesh-and-blood human beings, not as cardboard cut-outs who have no reality beyond your judgment. You let go of concepts, again and again. You give up what makes you feel safe, secure and right in order to do this. Thus it is an act of extreme daring.
True compassion is a profound skill, one that has much more in common with fierceness than softness. Compassion arises when you allow someone else's pain into your own heart without a personal agenda. This is what so many of us are terrified of doing, and understandably so. To view our "enemy" as part of the human family rather than a scourge to be obliterated means we have to take on their pain as our own and most of us are already full up when it comes to pain. Nonetheless, we must do it anyway. It requires fearlessness and and a sense of genuine power, and is in no way some kind of lefty do-good politically correct emasculating double talk.
Please remember: If we open our hearts, we can change the world. The truth is that there actually is no other way.
So, I'm going with "necessity."
Follow Susan Piver on Twitter: www.twitter.com/spiver
Compassion for an enemy - Buddhism: Tibetan Buddhism & Dalai Lama ...
How to Beat Your Enemy With Compassion | eHow.com
although I found your article very well written and indeed compassion is always in order. most have no understanding of what compassion is.
now these two above quotes are somewhat off base. compassion is not experiencing the pain of another that is sympathy, compassion and sympathy are different. compassion and empathy are different. but I suspect they are steps to compassion.
compassion is based in understanding and I have yet to meet any American that has come to understand the terrorists. Americans just demonized them and left it at that. I do not support their methods of protest make that clear. it is based in a low level of consciousness development.
compassion is not a profound skill compassion is a high level of consciousness development or stated in Christian terms; a change of heart towards others even those that want to harm us.
in no way am I claiming I am any expert in showing compassion. we must study the advanced spiritual teachers to learn more about compassion but we hear them not.
as far as you being a wimp. compassion is anything but being a wimp. after all the meek shall inherit the earth. this could be stated the compassionate will inherit the earth.
Well written article few will understand your words, very few.
How do you think some of the American civilians in Iraq/Afghanistan got killed ie. a reporter name Daniel for instance? These civilians probably got beheaded before they could even begin to express compassion to their abductors. They hate Americans and British so much they would not give you any time to express compassion.
Susan Piver, you write great articles but giving compassion to an Al Qaeda regime is almost next to impossible without getting beheaded. They don't think like us Americans do because they have lived such a hard life.
they were very advanced in spiritual awareness. Susan is giving us correct teachings on compassion and few americans indeed few in the world will understand her article on compassion.
compassion has to do with our level of spiritual awareness which is our understanding of spiritual reality. count Susan as one of those with an high level of spiritual awareness for even writing such an article.
I think there is some compassion putting a man like bin Laden out--he had ugly rabid insanity inside him. Compassionate for him and for everyone else. So I see a reason for celebration too. I imagine deep down inside, many people felt/feel sorry that people get so messed up--but the reality remains--they are gone anyway so it feels good to get rid of them physically. Not to mention win a victory against evil--which I seriously doubt will be gone in our lifetimes or our grandkids.
never bet against jesus when it comes to spiritual teachings.
most christians dont have a clue what jesus taught. see that was you know what. :-)
One of my favorite lines: "True compassion is a profound skill, one that has much more in common with fierceness than softness."
I agree you don't need hatred. Instead you need accurate ordnance.
If you think I misspelled, get out the dictionary.
Round and round the wheel of life,
Ruled by karma again and again,
I am the chicken this life your are the hawk,
I am the the cat you are the rat in the next,
Revenge after revenge in the samsaric circle,
When will hatred end?
For those who do not accept rebirth take a moment to go way back into you memory, you can still recall your first fight and quarrel.
religion is teaching you these things to keep you in fear.