Living And Loving ADHD

My husband, Kevin Wall, and Al Gore just won an EMA (Environmental Media Award) for their creation, Live Earth. I was with my husband on one of our daily walks to Starbucks last year when he had the idea for Live Earth. A month later I found myself visiting Al and Tipper Gore in Nashville and before I knew it, we had become great friends, Live Earth happened (7-7-07), and here we were in its aftermath.

This is pretty much the pattern of life I have experienced with my husband whom I met when just 15 years of age (I'm now 52). He is a person of experience, he lives life to its fullest; he cherishes each moment, rarely thinking of the past or future, and he is full of Ideas. In my academic life, I practice science with my topics of focus Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and mindfulness ('attention to the present experience'). Not too ironic that I study exactly what my husband embodies - the mind of someone with ADHD - creative, novelty-seeking, a 'connector', intuitive, and happy - while sharing the challenges of that way of thinking (a bit dyslexic, underestimates time to get places, forgetful, etc.), and mindful to the core.

Although ADHD is still classified a disorder because of the challenges individual's face with it, I'm more convinced everyday that it is a way of thinking and processing the world that is so beneficial to humanity, we must turn our attention to it. In many ways, our attention has been focused only on the disorder side of the condition, at the expense of the strengths, and science is just beginning to discover what those strengths might be. There is a popular book out right now, The Black Swan, about how all major changes come from 'outliers' in the world of ideas, the strange and misunderstood ideas that don't fit into conceptual frameworks of the day but prove to shift humanity to new heights.

I'm pretty convinced that if you want to find a Black Swan, an idea that will shift us to new heights, you should turn to someone with ADHD for it. They are the great idea generators of our day. Don't necessarily expect them to take their ideas to completion as that falls under the areas that can be challenging (i.e. planning and organization); but do turn to them for novel ideas, new ways of connecting information.

I recently attended a workshop designed to find an 'idea' that will lead to a paradigm shift in health care. Funny though, the attendees were mostly scientists who practice 'normal science', the day to day process of moving science along normal paths. It felt pretty unlikely a 'paradigm shift' would arise from the group, largely because few were the 'ADHD' kind of mind, few were the 'outliers' of neurodiversity. Science, like most professions today, values productivity and less so creativity; although we all recognize that science leaps humanity forward from rare but creative paradigm shifts.

So my life has been full, full because I live with someone who sees the world differently from the norm. He is an 'outlier' if you will, in how he embodies and embraces life. He is also perhaps the most mindful person I know; but he doesn't practice any formal method of meditation, mindfulness training, etc. He just is. What makes him so great is that he doesn't even know that about himself, he just enjoys each moment of every day, each tough challenge he faces, each new idea he creates, and each new person that he meets.

He's kind of just a happy, kind, and caring guy who believes that whatever he wants to do can happen. Our lives are full of the benefits of seeing the world through the eyes of ADHD but not bumping into the pain that can accompany it if expectations are set on the wrong behaviors. Together we have learned to appreciate the strengths of this visionary way of seeing the world and just dealing with the challenges that may accompany it with a good sense of humor (e.g. we cherish uncertainty and forgive ourselves for 'being late', 'missing events', 'losing things' etc. and we have a great support network....thank you Betty!).

When I met my husband at age 15, I knew I had found my soul mate, the person with whom I would spend my life. He was a fresh breeze of life that I knew would take me wherever it may and in each moment there would be a depth of uncertainty that would keep me present. As the Beatles said, "Love is all you need!"

Comments

[DrOsophila]

I'm kind of stunned by Dr.Smalley's article.

As a psychologist as well as a mother with a son diagnosed with ADHD, Distractible Type, I am amazed that she trivializes the real difficulties that this disorder represents.

My son is, like her husband, a sweet, smart, creative person. However, if her husband's problems reside only at the level of "absent-minded professor" he (and she) are very lucky.

To have reached the level of achievement that he has apparently attained implies that he finished college and perhaps graduate school as well. How did he do that?

My son struggles with many of the issues that ADHDers struggle with: Constant distractibility, diffused attention, hypersensitivity to sensory stimulation, difficulty with some motor skills, poor working memory, trouble with sequencing, all those resulting in poor social comprehension, which in itself leads to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

ALL of which need to be treated in one way or another (avoiding the drug debate here).

There's a whole trend of thinking about ADHD now (including Thom Hartmann's "hunters" vs. gatherers (or something)) which stresses the positive aspects of ADHD, and that's GREAT. I also think that we are too quick to jump into the "neuro" approach to ADHD. I think such aspects as anxiety and other psychodynamic factors are very important here, even if they're no longer considered "cool." (the neuros have taken over -- have you noticed?)

BUT --- Dr. Smalley and her husband are very lucky people. Somebody in a comment above suggested that perhaps Dr. Smalley, who made her attachment to her husband at a very (VERY) young age, has been helping him compensate for his difficulties all along. Could be. But also, I would suggest that if Dr. Smalley's husband was able to complete a high level of education without special services etc., that perhaps his ADHD problems were/are not all that severe.

For many people with ADHD, the truth is that "love is NOT all you need."

[prestodan]

This was a very sunny article, but it seems to imply that all people w/ ADHD are automatically creative, talented, out of the box thinkers. Her husband may have these qualities, and the tendency to have these qualities may exist more in the ADHD person, but you are not automatically blessed with creativity when you have ADHD, or vice versa. An article more focused on finding ways to live and cope with ADHD, and seeking healthy outlets for those with the tendencies associated with it, would have been a more informative read. This article seemed more like a plea for understanding, and a love letter to the husband, which is fine, but not very substantive.

[wtmesq]

Im interested in the meds...but I LIKE being ADHD. I love new ideas, new things, I like the stimilus of doing 5 things at once. I just dont like the difficulty that comes with following through on tying all the threads together, or doing even mildly unpleasant tasks. I dont really like the short attention span or the creeping boredom that affects most tasks.
Will meds help me or will it cost me the advantages of ADHD?
BTW great to hear someone else saying something I have been saying for more than a decade: ADHD is as much a positive as a negative...Im certain I owe much of my success to it.

[Lars]

I like me too. People with ADHD wired brains are made to be creative or at least spontanious -- and appreciate connections those who live life in a prescribed mannor cannot. (Think hunter/gatherers vs. farmers). When people with ADHD can compensate for the negatives -- having ADHD is a true blessing and not difficult to live with. And lots of very famous and successful peoople have (or had) ADHD brains.

As far as meds... talk with your doctor. Get help finding someone who can test you. If you really are ADHD, your physician or psychiatrist will recommend whether counseling, training, medicine -- or combinations thereof -- are the best strategy to compensate for your unique ADHD negatives. There are several different medications available with differing side effects. It might take a while to come upon the treatment that works best for you.

[sigrid13]

Thank you, Susan, for posting on the positive effects of adhd.

I'd been feeling pretty negative about it since I tried to wean myself off the drugs, and nearly lost my job in the process.

This helps.

[Lars]

Let me add... Those who campaign against medication to treat ADHD appear to me to be either prejudiced toward drugs as a means to treat mental health problems or ignorant of the benefits to people like me. Maybe they don't care. Condemning medicinal treatment of ADHD out of hand is just plain mean-spirited from my perspective. Why are people like the commentator above so self-righteously opposed to a treatment that works for people like me -- a treatment that allows me to function in the non-ADHD world? I just don't understand such narrow-mindedness -- although I'm forced to deal with various forms of narrow-mindedness toward ADHD every day. Maybe someone can explain it to me.

[olivine]

Hmmmmmmm... I have ADD myself, but I don't remember reading one word about medication-for or against.

[Lars]

There are many positive attributes that come with a brain that is wired in an ADHD way. The greatest advantage is that people like Kevin Wall and people like me are aware of so many sitimulations (spontanious thoughts, ideas, observations, images, patterns, distractions, insights, etc) that tug on us for our attention and are available to us to be creative with. These are truly blessings and deserve to be recognized as such.

The down-side of ADHD is uncontrolable "impulsiveness" and unintentional inattentiveness which can cause problems much worse that being forgetful, being late or losing things. Impulsiveness undermines basic skills that people in this day and age must have to get by -- such as social skills, the ability to pay attention, and the ability to follow and conform to systems that bring order to individual lives and society. It's really beneficial for someone with an ADHD wired brain to have a helper to make sure that essential tasks are performed, to correct missteps and mistakes, and make sure everyday life is "thought through" for someone with ADHD. The trouble is that most of us with ADHD (unlike Kevin Walls) can't find or afford this kind of support. So I have found that medication (such as Ritalin, among others) makes it possible for me to focus enough so that I can "think before I do or say" when I need too. Without this help, I am open to continual criticism, negative feedback, and negative consequences from those who can do this naturally and easily -- criticism that is often valid (but not always) and relentless. This is a terrible burden to bear -- a burden that medication treats -- at least in my case.

[cktirumalai]

I can well believe that people whose minds and personalities are organized differently from those of "normal" human beings are capable of conceptual breakthroughs.

[suzanne1977]

I am thankful every day for the medication I take for ADD/ADHD! I can't imagine going back to life before meds and hope I never have to.

[RaisingAwareness]

Putting children and people in general on harmful stimulants which are in the same class of drugs as cocaine and speed is criminal.

HTTP://WWW.ABLECHILD.ORG

HTTP://WWW.ADHDFRAUD.ORG

HTTP://WWW.NEWSTARGET.COM/ADHD.HTML

[RobbStoneStar]

while there is no doubt that some people do not handle drugs (of any kind) well, there is ample evidence that stimulant medication is an extremely useful therapy for those of us who have a very hard time tasking our way through the linear, achievement-driven modern workday. My life changed immeasurably when I started taking a medication commonly prescribed for ADD/ADHD. I still have the bursting, free associative creativity; But now I can read for prolonged periods of time (where I could not before) and the little stuff--like paying bills and remembering what I am supposed to be doing--isn't so hard to keep track of.

[RaisingAwareness]

Cocaine and speed have nearly the exact same effect on the nervous system as do these ADHD drugs. You can substitute your ADHD drugs with cocaine or speed and you may never know the difference. So why wouldn't you if they are pretty much the same?

HTTP://WWW.ABLECHILD.ORG

HTTP://WWW.ADHDFRAUD.ORG

HTTP://WWW.NEWSTARGET.COM/ADHD.HTML