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Suzan Song

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Supporting Moonshine Fathers

Posted: 05/28/10 04:53 PM ET

The "ugly secret of global poverty" is basically that men prioritize alcohol and tobacco over their children, per Nicholas Kristof's Sunday New York Times column. He addresses the problematic way in which many in the developing world choose to spend their money, though this is also true of some of the poor in the United States.

The call to action, that we should give women more control over finances and assets, is one that humanitarian workers have known for years. Aid and development workers learned quickly in the field that distributing food and rations to women in refugee camps for example, ensure that the goods benefit children.

However, a parallel and integrated solution would include focusing on mental health instead of isolating or banishing men, who also play an integral role in families. Men have various of reasons for drinking. Part of it could be cultural, and part of it simply selfish and hedonistic.

But poverty and mental health are interwoven. Some men drink to self-medicate their depression or anxiety that are intolerable. Others drink to cope with stressful situations like unemployment, idleness, lack of upward mobility, failure at one's societal role, and failure to protect the family.

Many developing countries are youthful, with a majority of the population under 25 years old. For these young people, there's not much potential for growth. Life's opportunities are slim when illiteracy rates are high, educational and job options sparse, and governance hopeless. Move this to the rural areas where the only option for upward mobility is as a village elder or traditional healer, or to leave the family by migrating to an urban area where one can at least hope for an opportunity to provide. Many governments control land distribution, so young men have no method of livelihood to raise their families. Drug and alcohol addiction are high in many post-conflict countries, in part due to the above societal limitations.

This is not to say that we should make allowances and excuses for men to prioritize their selfish lifestyles over caring for families. I'm merely raising the point that by only focusing on women, we neglect a major part of family and culture.

Instead of casting non-productive fathers aside, we should help in rehabilitation to build a community of supportive fathers, while also empowering women with more entitlements. This starts with the acknowledgment that poverty, governance, education, job mobility, and security all interweave with mental health.

Changing a culture is difficult and many may think this approach idealistic and tiresome, but one role as a mental health clinician is to see potential in people and foster resiliency and strength. A family unit of two supportive parents can optimize a child's life. We could start with public awareness and education, as well as incentives to ensure that men spend on behalf of the family. Showing a woman's value to the economic and social benefit of a community could help her empowerment. On a broader level, providing more vocational skills and education that specifically funnel into jobs that have an option for mobility will help build structure and meaning into a man's life. Addressing the feelings of powerlessness that lead to depression and anxiety, and helping to provide a more effective way of coping can decrease tension all around.

Fathers have a role in families. By supporting their mental health and psychosocial well-being, we also support children and families.

 

Follow Suzan Song on Twitter: www.twitter.com/suzansong

The "ugly secret of global poverty" is basically that men prioritize alcohol and tobacco over their children, per Nicholas Kristof's Sunday New York Times column. He addresses the problematic way in ...
The "ugly secret of global poverty" is basically that men prioritize alcohol and tobacco over their children, per Nicholas Kristof's Sunday New York Times column. He addresses the problematic way in ...
 
 
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03:06 PM on 05/30/2010
We have clear, demonstrable evidence that providing tangible relief to women secures direct, critical needs relief to children. I see no citations providing qualitative, research based proof that directing "mental health" relief to individuals freely engaging in harmful behavior that results in equitable levels of success. I would rather feed a child than see funds directed to programs that generate limited levels of success in areas that have proven rates of harmful behavior recidivism. It does not surprise me to see a psychologist recommending therapy. It's how the industry feeds its members. I would rather feed a child.
11:32 PM on 05/31/2010
You are spot on. The current generations of men might not ever change, but by giving to the women, they in turn DO make sure their children are fed, educated and cared for, which in turn will raise up a generation of men who may well be less selfish, less absorbed with their vices, more responsible to family (or in birth control) etc.
12:32 AM on 06/01/2010
Where did it become the norm that a child self worth revolves around the female. Yes GOD or evolution has decided that women carry eggs and men provide the sperm that brings those eggs to life. Thats where it begins and ends. A child will always see themselves 50/50. No matter what form of brain washing may happen into the first 5 years. Making it a priority for both parents to be apart of a childs life is paramount. Therefore the care and welfare of every member is most important. Anything separate than that philosphy is also the same as take care of Veterans, but don't care for females seeking abortions.
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zzcat
Who says Schrödinger's cat is even in the box?
12:35 AM on 05/30/2010
As we've seen in the news lately, even many rich men squander the families money on mistresses.
11:34 PM on 05/31/2010
What wealthy men have been in the news lately whose children are literally starving while they entertain mistresses with their last $50?
12:35 AM on 06/01/2010
Wealthy men must be held accountable. Just like we should hold women accountable for keeping fathers away from their children. Its not right to hold some issues as necessary, but others not. There are many mothers who are killing their babies, abandoning them. Kicking them out on the streets and keeping the child support money. Where is the justice in those issues.
04:41 PM on 05/28/2010
In Afghanistan the government is mounting some measures to combat substance abuse for men:

http://stark-raving-sober.blogspot.com/2010/05/afghanistan-rehabs-police-addicts.html

Which is great, but why not offer substance abuse services to both men and women? And why not promote "more vocational skills" that "will help build structure and meaning," as the author here suggests, into both men's and women's lives?
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Suzan Song
09:45 PM on 05/28/2010
Yes, that was the point of my post, but I guess it wasn't clear. I'm very much in favor of empowering women through education, vocational and livelihood training, and more control over their resources. My point is that in addition to that, we should take more horizontal approach by also providing support to men instead of a vertical approach of only addressing women. Focusing solely on women, and ignoring their social and cultural environments (men) may make their empowerment more difficult (ex. increase in gender-based violence after men feel dejected, etc)
11:37 PM on 05/31/2010
For decades, most humanitarian organizations *have* addressed men, thinking that if they empowered the men, they in turn would take care of their families and responsibilities.

Turns out, not so much.

It's time to *stop* allowing women and children to be hurt by this, it's time to channel the resources to those who have *proven* they will use them to benefit the children and hence, the future.

Raising a generation of men who did not starve and have more invested in the future, is the way. I'm sorry if you want to stop forward progress because of thinking someone is being left behind. The men of these cultures, including the US, made their choices. It's time to leave them out of the process for now, to establish a more secure upbringing for a few generations, and then re-access.
12:36 AM on 06/01/2010
I agree substance abuse is gender neutral. Everyone should be treated and held to equal standards. All americans are equal.