Skyway Robbery

Summer vacation is almost here and airlines are breathless to scoop up buckets of cash through their new checked baggage fees. If your two-week vacation wardrobe cannot completely fit into a carry-on, then be prepared to pay extra. United, American and Continental Airlines will feed like jackals on the traveling public. Planning a summer getaway? Consider yourself a crippled goat on the Serengeti.

Let's see how much meat they'll pick off your sorry carcass.

American Airlines will charge $15 for the first checked bag and $25 for the second checked bag, each way. Checking in two suitcases for a round trip? That will be $80, please, per person. A third, fourth or fifth bag will cost you $100 apiece, each way.

On United Airlines, the first checked bag is free, but fork over $25 for the second one, each way. Make sure your suitcase is correctly sized and within the 50-lb. weight limit or you'll have $100 less to spend at Disney World.

Continental is charging $25 for the second checked bag. Owners of oversized bags or overweight suitcases will be slapped with a $50 to $100 penalty.

It's skyway robbery!

Exceptions to the rules are first class passengers, holders of a gazillion-frequent-flyer miles and their ilk. (But for what they've paid, they've been turned upside down and all their change already fell out.)

Please note that no fees will be charged on checked-in wheelchairs and strollers. Corporate compassion. Doesn't that just fill your heart with fluffy-kitty feelings?

Why the new money-grubbing fees? We can assume gas prices and poor management, but on their web sites American and Continental stayed mum on that question.

Only United Airlines attempted a non-answer: "This new checked bag policy is part of our continuing efforts to offer customers choice, flexibility and low fares."

Let me translate the Fly-The-Friendly-Skies-speak:

Choice: Wear everything you own or fly nude. The "choice" is yours.

Flexibility: We're giving you one free bag, what else do you want? Get gouged by American then. We're flexible.

Low fares: Compared to what you'll pay to bring your sports equipment, two-week wardrobe and all the stuff your kids insist on bringing, our fares will seem very low.

Have you ever wondered about the sadistic minds behind some of the scariest rides at amusement parks? They may have found work with airline management. Someone is applying well-honed skills to expertly raise the blood pressure of riders. The creation of amputee-sized seats was just the beginning.

Poor, poor airlines, they wrestle with operational costs -- like the astronomical annual salaries of their CEO's. ($4.3 million forDoug Parker of US Airways, $6 million for Lawrence Kellner of Continental Airlines, $11.3 million for Richard Anderson of Delta Airlines, $10.3 million for Glenn Tilton of United Airlines; and $6.6 million for Gerard Arpey of American Airlines, according to Derrick Jackson's Boston Globe column on 5/24/08.)

Folks, that takes a lot of checked baggage! Airlines have to find the extra money somewhere, and passenger backsides (the wallet pocket, specifically) provide handy spots for slashing away a pound of flesh.

I can remember the old days when vacation bliss began the minute I reached the airport. An entire generation of young travelers would consider that to be just early dementia talking.

Comments

[Cathexis]

I suspect we may be entering an age where air travel is just not affordable to the "average American." They just can't keep it profitable, with their increasing costs.

[SouthJerseySteve]

Good post! I laughed out loud, causing my co-workers to visit my cubicle again to make sure I wasn't going "postal".

Of course, the answer to this dilemma -- fly Southwest Airlines!

[Badbone]

A robber forces you to give him your money. An airline doesn't. Don't want to pay these fees, don't travel. Tell them why you aren't travelling. Let them know that in their effort to make an extra 25 dollars, they will now *not* be making 600. It does no good to grouse about it on the internet but not do anything in the real world.

[indypete]

That's all very well if you don't actually HAVE to travel. I made the decision to avoid discretionary travel when the bastards started charging $5 for a lousy sandwich. All this grandstanding "security" crap didn't help either. Consider the price we pay so that granny can get frisked trying to get to the boarding gate.

[Soulsurfer]

WTF are you complaining about? The Airlines' cost for fuel is up 84% in a year....they're at minimum staff levels, and have cut everywhere else before raising prices. Now, its either raise prices or go out of business. You're lucky to even be able to fly anywhere you want with ease, never in human history has mobility of this caliber been available to so many people for so low a cost. The Airlines have only provided a safe, relatively affordable, convenient way for you to get somewhere hundreds or thousands of miles away........where does it say that it's our right to have cheap and easy air transportation?

[montemalone]

But, but, but....
Americans don't care about reality. (See: Election, Presidential, 2000, 2004).
They bought gas guzzling behemoth trucks that they can't control on the road to get from their exurban houses to their jobs 30 or 40 or 60 miles away and now they're whining about $4.00/gal gas. (See: Energy Policy, Cheney, secret). Just wait until we wish it was only $4.00/gal. In Paris, they're paying $10.00/gal.
I think maybe now we'll see a renewed interest in train travel. A few high speed links alongside the interstate system can move people and goods for less money.

[Annette]

I have no problem with airlines charging a fare based on reality. Yes their gas prices are up and the fares ought to reflect that. What I dislike is the penny ante little extra charges in an effort to keep prices apparently low.
To be honest, I have given up flying almost entirely, it has become an unpleasant thing to do. There is the crowding, the rudeness of the airlines staff, there is the obvoious understaffing leading to poor service and short tempered employees being asked to do the impossible with not enough resources. Modern airline travel is more like riding the bus.

If I am going to travel overseas I have begun traveling by freighter. More pleasant, more interesting.

If airlines were willing to charge enough to offset costs and offer a reasonable level of service I don't mind paying for it. But to put myself into discomfort for 2-10 hours of discomfort and boredom not interested. no way

[indypete]

I don't mind the "reality" angle either. Here's some realality... why do I, a thinner than average man of 160lbs, pay the same for my seat as the 350lb monster beside me overflowing into the space I paid for?

[JBS]

Well, FWIW, when you deploy to Iraq, you get one duffel bag, one ruck-sack and a carry-on for your laptop if you have one. All the seats are coach class.

It's a good idea to carry your shaving kit & clean underwear in with the laptop, 'cause if the flight's overweight, which it might be if you've been issued body armor that adds 70 pounds to your weight, your gear gets bumped. It might catch up with you before you go up country. Or not.

But the good news is your M4 doesn't count against your baggage allowance.

[Annette]

I imagine that the US government is paying at least first class airfare money for the trip.

If duffle bags are like they were when I was in the military, they weighed about 60 pounds fully loaded. We females had difficulty balancing them.