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Suzy Shuster

Suzy Shuster

Posted: March 15, 2010 01:40 PM

British Watchdog Group Rebukes Government for Climate Change Nursery Rhyme Advertisements

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I came across this little gem in the UK's Telegraph Sunday morning as my plane hurtled its way back across the country from New York - an hour late after the first officer slept his way through the Daylight Savings time change. (He claimed he didn't realize a near hurricane hit the tri-state area this past weekend, and thusly didn't leave enough time for traffic. Right.)

In an article by Matthew Moore, the watchdog group Advertising Standards Authority ruled that a series of public service advertisements funded by the Department of Energy and Climate Change "made exaggerated claims about the threat to Britain from global warming," saying that the content of said adverts went "beyond mainstream scientific consensus."

The kicker here is that the posters were takes on children's rhymes we all know and love. Here are the two offensive texts:

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. There was none as extreme weather due to climate change had caused a drought." It went on to say, "Extreme weather conditions such as flooding, heat waves and storms will become more frequent and intense."

All claims made by legions of scientists who predict extreme heat waves and flooding throughout Europe in the years to come, by the way.

And: "Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub, a necessary course of action due to flash flooding caused by climate change... climate change is happening . Temperatures and sea levels are rising. Extreme weather events such as storms, floods, and heat waves will become more frequent and intense. If we carry on at this rate, life in 25 years could be very different."

Again, all projections made by leading climate change scientists, who have been measuring the steadily climbing sea levels surrounding the British Isles. These are not hysterical machinations of raving eco-nutballs, but scientific facts. But the ASA decided the texts in the adverts should be "couched with softer language." Ironically, they were OK with another advert depicting a father reading his daughter a "nightmarish bedtime story about a world blighted by climate change." Yes, that's definitely more in line with British decorum.

Excellent. In light of the British government's crackdown on exaggerated global warming claims, I did some "research" into some other subversive children's rhymes that might surprise you.

Here's one: Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. Jack, don't shower with another man, it might turn you gay.

Then there was this one: Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep and doesn't know where to find it. Perhaps it's hiding out with the Iraqi weapons of mass destruction.

Another shocker: Ba Ba Black Sheep have you any wool? Why you calling that sheep Black?

Or: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again because he didn't have health care insurance, so the ER turned him away.

But the most eye-opening of all: This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef, which just contributed to this country's growing obesity problem.

Come on...

And please, feel free to submit any of your own subversive "findings."