My Dog Has No Balls

My dog has no balls.

And I'm proud of it.

That's not to say he isn't brave (he guards his house like the best of them) or handsome or virile or protective. He just has no balls because he doesn't need them. They were removed when I had him neutered after rescuing him from the Los Angeles South Central Shelter when he was six months old.

Having a pet spayed or neutered actually extends its lifespan by a few years and reduces any aggressive traits or tendencies. It also greatly cuts down on over-populations in cats and dogs, so that more and more pets remain in loving and responsible homes, and fewer are turned into one of this country's six thousand local shelters where an estimated four million animals are needlessly executed each year.

What a way to treat man's so-called "best friend." Six to eight million dogs and cats are deposited in United States shelters annually because of over-population or, pathetically, lack of interest. Only half of those find new adoptive home, with only thirty percent of shelter dogs reclaimed by owners. During the holidays, consumers buzzing with Christmas spirit buy puppies out of pet shop windows without realizing just how exhausting housetraining can be, or without having thought through how big that Saint Bernard puppy will grow to be one day. Or worse, once the puppy has grown out of its cute and adorable stage and needs attention, exercise and bathroom breaks, some new owners just decide their new "toy" is too time-consuming, and choose to dump the animal at the pound. April tends to be the month with the heaviest turn-in ratio. The cruelest and most cutting moment comes when an animal watches its owner walk away after dropping it off at what most likely will be the last stop in its sad life -- its face questioning the reason for the abandonment, questions that will never be answered.

So you're thinking, "I don't have a pet, I'm not part of the problem," or "I treat my Irish Setter like family, this doesn't affect me," -- unless, of course, you're Mitt Romney, the next president of the United States of Dog Diarrhea -- but it does, because you're already deeply involved in the problem. In California alone, taxpayers foot the bill for the nearly $300 million annual cost to house and euthanize these animals They generally suffer deplorable conditions and lonely existences. And the numbers are not declining, even with educational efforts and low-cost spay-neuter programs.

Which is why it is time to solve this country's pet over-population problem once and for all. The solution comes in the form of legislation, such as a bill currently making its way through the California legal system. AB1634, the California Healthy Pets Act, proposes to require most people to spay or neuter their pets by the age of six months. Owners who do not comply under the proposed law will be fined accordingly. Animal control authorities will be responsible for overseeing effective enforcement of the bill, which is not that far of a stretch from what's currently in place, as one can rarely receive an unfixed dog from a city shelter or rescue group -- after all why create a problem from one that's been resolved?

When first proposed, the bill raised the hackles of pure-bred dog breeders, thinking the state had in mind some all-seeing Orwellian eye that would threaten their livelihood and eliminate their rights to continue breeding their lineages. In fact, they are coming to realize they have nothing by which to be concerned. Exempt from the bill are legal registered breeders who obtain a permit, law enforcement dogs, show dogs, dogs whose health would be threatened by spay or neutering, as well as service and guide dogs.

Those the bill does target are the so called, "backyard breeders," people who churn out dogs in inhumane ways, whose dogs have tons of puppies because the owners are too lazy to have them fixed, or because they wish to sell them without obtaining a license or paying taxes. People who have no room or yard or means to take care of their animals, and in turn so neglect them that they either become threats to society, or worse, clog the city shelters after abandonment.

And then there's this. There are people who feel neutering a male dog is akin to defacing it, and some male owners just seem to have some strange and pathetic testicular infatuation with their dog's manhood -- or as I like to call it, Ball Infatuation. To those I say, "Gentlemen, measure your own worth by your own, well, you know, not your dog's."

Opposition to bills such as AB1634 seems inane to me, but that's probably because I spend time visiting these overrun shelters, and because I cannot for the life of me see an end in sight to this miserable debacle without passage of like bills. And also because I countless nights awake thinking of the millions of deserving dogs like the love of my life Hudson the dog, who spend their nights alone and scared and so undeserving of their own cruel fates.

It's about time man and woman became the best friend these dogs deserve. Get some balls, if you will, and support propositions such as AB1634, the California Healthy Pets Act. And in the words of the great Bob Barker, have your pets spayed or neutered.

Comments

[Texocrat24]

Then again, Viagra hasn't been approved for pets yet. Because pets can lose their sex drives, too.

[rmemazz]

I checked back, I guess they had enough of my point of view, they trashed my Part two....I guess they only want just so much comment.

[kati]

Seems responsible people always s/n their dogs and cats, meaning those who would probably not allow their pets to breed anyway. Take Germany for example, most dogs (cat are) are not s/n but they don't have an overpopulation problem, there are no street dogs. There are shelters, of course, but for the most part these are there in truest sense of the word for animals that have lost their humans due to old age, illness, death. Maybe we can be like that one day..

[Libsrule]

We did that to our first two dogs and for some reason we decided not to do it with our current little Maltese.

He's eleven and healthy as they come, he spoiled rotten but has such a sweet temperment that everywhere we take him, (he's welcome at the bank, post office, hardware store, local liguor store, and just about everywhere where they always have a treat for him) and we seem to feel in his case leaving him intact was the best thing for him.

He's no more agressive and no more unhealthy than all those fixed dogs I see.

I understand the need to bring all those other idiots under control, especially the cruelty of puppy mills and greedy breeders who work out of their houses, but it does need to have some common sense, which is sorely lacking in this bill.

Lilbit is not a yard dog, and in fact he's a bed dog, he doesn't run around loose, although he's never had a leash on him because he is so mindful I've never had a worry about him running off.

So I think each case needs to be examined before requiring a blanket fixing.

[QueenCeleste]

Great post Suzy. I agree with everything you say. The plight of homeless dogs and cats languishing in shelters is heartbreaking. It is obscene that millions (millions!) are put to sleep each year. I hope I live to see a day when all animals are wanted and cherished by loving people. Bless you for your compassion.

[gulopartisan]

The problem is not sperm, it's sex. Where are these incontinent dogs having their orgies? I'm not crazy about encountering some testosterone-addled guy with his breeding capable "killer" male dog, and I've neutered every dog I've lived with for more than thirty years, but if people kept their animals responsibly, the dogs wouldn't be out making puppies in the first place.

Here's a solution: Making puppies requires a "ticket" (not an annual or permanent license) that carries a high price tag: say, $100 or two days' public service in a shelter. Make people take responsibility for their dogs' sex lives.

Of course, you hardly ever hear of people who don't want to spay, and like men, male dogs aren't necessarily around for the big event. So... any non-neutered male dog running loose triggers the fine. Opportunity is all it takes.

This would hit the bully boys in the place that hurts more than their gonads -- their wallets. And who knows? Maybe a few days at the shelter -- a heartbreaking place -- will educate a few of them.

[wdflwr]

I'm all for reducing the population of shelter animals and have most of my critters clipped at a young age. However, I have a dog that is an Irish Wolfhound and for various reasons that I will explain in a minute, I must say that having him neutered is out of the question until he's at least 2 years of age.

This comes from the advice of vets who work with the giant breeds: My sweet little (but very big) 8 month old Irish Wolfhound is very much a little boy (testes are just now beginning to descend). If we were to have him clipped before he is 2 years of age, he would be at high risk for all sorts of growth & bone problems because he would grow much too fast too soon and that is just plain dangerous for giant breeds. It is heartbreaking and just plain irresponsible to do something with such horrible ramifications for an animal.

Now, the other issue: he is much too young, even at 8 months, for me to know his potential for breeding. Responsible breeders show their dogs in the ring and let judges decide if the animal is worthy of carrying on the gene pool. It is by the showing & judging that good breeding stock is discovered. And in no other breed is this as important issue as with Irish Wolfhounds. These glorious animals are plagued with all sorts of health problems, from cancers to heart trouble, and from seizures, to bone problems. If by chance, I do have an exemplary dog, then I owe it to the future generations of Irish Wolfhounds to enter him into the gene pool for the breed. This ancient breed was brought back from extinction, and if it weren't for diligent & responsible breeders, there would be none left today.

If states pass laws that animals must be spayed/neutered at 6 months of age, we are going to see lots & lots more terrible genetic health issues by virtue of limiting the gene pool. And let me tell you, if this happens, then everybody loses...

[OtayPanky]

Suzy Shuster: "My Dog Has No Balls"

===

Tell him not to worry about it. The dems have no balls, either.

[SARhndler]

Suzy, you have it exactly backwards.

Breeders are not "coming to realize they have nothing by which to be concerned" from AB1634. On the contrary, over time, more and more breed clubs and breeders have joined the opposition to this bill. Between the time the bill was in the Assembly and it reached the Senate, the number of breed clubs doubled in the official opposition. Several hundred breed clubs and kennel clubs oppose this bill, and exactly ZERO support it.

"Backyard breeders" are not targeted by this bill. Instead, the irresponsible breeding of underage dogs is given a green light, in section 122336.21.(a) of the bill.

"people who churn out dogs in inhumane ways"... so-called puppymills, have it even better in AB1634. They get a total exemption from the law, in section 122336.2.(a)(4)

So the net effect is, AB1634 targets dedicated responsible home/hobby breeding for extinction, while it gives an official state seal of approval to irresponsible puppymills and backyard breeders.

[Texocrat24]

No, Suzy has it right. It is YOU who has it backwards.

[SARhndler]

If you believe that, then you don't understand the language of AB 1634, or what it really means. This bill is a total sham.

[Doofus]

2 words: Testicular Implants

http://www.neuticles.com/index1.html

Brought to you by...

Paul/Kucinich - Tag Team 2008 - Their Time Has Come!

[Cautious]

One of my cats has no balls. The other one had a reproductive system for a while, and while this was going on, the one with no balls tried to help the female in her "distress". Imagine the look of puzzlement on his face when things just didn't work the way they were supposed to. It was priceless.

There are far too many ferile animals in the US. Something needs to be done to lower those numbers.

[LisaBriz]

Anyone who thinks that they shouldn't have to spay or neuter their pet should go volunteer at an animal shelter for one week, and be present for each euthanasia that takes place. I'm a volunteer at the Maxfund, in Denver, and I believe that until the pet population reaches a managable level, there is NO SUCH THING AS A "RESPONSIBLE" breeder.

[SARhndler]

- the early spay/neuter that is mandated is linked to a range of health and behavioral problems in dogs

- decisions about surgery should be made by dog and cat owners in consultation with their own veterinarians, on a case-by-case basis, with the best interests of the individual patient foremost in mind.... not mandated by government

- it would impose a failed policy on the entire state

In a nutshell, they oppose AB1634 because it would do absolutely no good and would cause widespread harm.

[SARhndler]

Several hundred organizations and tens of thousands of individuals are on record in opposition to AB1634 because:

- it would not do anything to reduce the numbers of cats and dogs impounded in shelters

- it would not do anything to reduce the numbers of cats and dogs euthanized in shelters

- it is not directed at the sources of the problem

- it deflects attention from the sources of the problem, and the useful measures that could be implemented (or already have been implemented) if/when efforts are directed toward the real sources of the problem

- it would cause people to avoid mandatory licensing and rabies compliance in order to stay under the radar of an overreaching government, just as it's done in jurisdictions where it's passed

- it would increase costs to the taxpayers, just as it's done in jurisdictions where it has passed

- the number of animals entering shelters and being euthanized in California shelters is already dropping rapidly each year, thanks to non-coercive, voluntary programs

- it would devastate the breeding programs for guide dogs for the blind and service dogs for the disabled

- it would greatly reduce the future availability of dogs for law enforcement work, leading to an increase in crime

- it would devastate the breeding programs for search-and-rescue dogs, resulting in missing people not be found and rescued

- it would devastate the breeding programs for livestock guardian dogs and herding dogs, thereby threatening the livelihoods of thousands of Californians who rely on these dogs to help with their livestock operations

- it would devastate the responsible careful home breeding programs of well bred dogs and cats for pets, while giving a green light to large scale commercial breeding for profit along with "just one litter" irresponsible breeding of underage animals

- it would result in an increase in the already thriving illegal smuggling of underage puppies from Mexico

- it would be a major stepping stone toward implementing the "one generation and out" agenda of the radical Animal Rights movement to eliminate domestic animals

[autodefensa]

"...some male owners just seem to have some strange and pathetic testicular infatuation with their dog's manhood -- or as I like to call it, Ball Infatuation."


Hilarious and very true. A dear friend of mine happens to be a swashbuckling he-man, athlete, avid football fan, etc. When I mentioned I was having my cat's balls removed because he was getting torn up all the time in fights, my friend took it as personally as if it were his own balls and not the cat's that hung in the balance, so to speak.

In deference to my friend's emotional distress, I didn't mention the matter further but simply took kitty in and quietly got the job done. Turns out kitty is just as much a "man" as ever--he has lots of personality--but doesn't emit a bad-smelling spray and probably fights less.

The trouble is cats are extremely territorial and relieving them of their balls doesn't necessarily eliminate the fighting completely. Mine is a big ole cat who still gets enraged and will give out a blood-curdling battle cry at the window if he sees another cat in "his" yard. If you open the door at such times, he'll shoot out like a bullet after the other cat, who knows it's violated cat etiquette and skedaddles (maybe you can tell I'm a cat-lover!)

My daughter reports she saw kitty drop out of a tree onto another cat's back after it was unwise enough to trespass.

So guys, don't agonize. For cats, life goes on after the balls are gone!
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