Groupon Offers and Me

Each morning, even before I've had coffee, I'm confronted with offers of flirty aprons and kitchen gloves at a savings of $15, learning how to navigate the Hudson River in a kayak for only $89 (as opposed to the $175 being paid by those foolish enough not to subscribe to Groupon), curling into a dog position at a yoga class for $25 less than those other idiots or eating upscale Fusion fare at substantially less. Which of us is strong enough to resist such temptations?

There are those who will pass up even the most attractive offer because they're embarrassed to present a discount coupon. My husband is such a person. He squirms visibly when I open my purse and give the waiter something I've printed out. To compensate, my husband orders not one, but two, pitchers of Sangria and is absurdly generous at tip time. It's likely that the Groupon coupon sets us back.

And then there is the unused coupon that haunts you by expiring before you've remembered to use it. When I called -- and this was not Groupon, but a Google offer -- I was told that the amount is applicable to other offers. That returned me to my usual state, a notch below serenity, while I wait for them to offer me the chance to go on a helicopter ride around Manhattan with the ragged nails and cuticles that would have been far more presentable if I'd used the manicure/pedicure coupon.