How Things Have Changed for Women

Then: Man in bar asking, "Can I buy you a drink?"
Now: Man on the street asking, "Can you help me get something to eat?"

Then: Men trying to undress us
Now: Men telling us to undress require a co-pay

Then: Cinch belts
Now: Spanx

Then: Obscene phone calls
Now: Nigerian scammers

Then: "Promise you won't tell"
Now: Forgetting you already told it

Then: "Let me show you my new shoes"
Now: Photos of grandchildren on Smartphones

Then: Topless on a beach
Now: Skin biopsies

Then: Multiple orgasms
Now: Binge-watching TV

Then: Breast implants
Now: Teeth implants

Then: Falling in love
Now: Falling

Then: Bracelet inscribed, "Love always"
Now: Bracelet inscribed, "Do not resuscitate"

Then: Taking acid
Now: Acid reflux

Then: Social life
Now: Social security

Then: Feeling hip
Now: Hip replacement

Then: Starter home
Now: A Home for Mom

Then: Arranging dinner date
Now: Making arrangements