How to get your 15 Minutes of Fame

With the incessant media coverage, ever-growing number of bloggers and You Tube, it's now almost impossible to avoid getting fifteen, if not more, minutes of fame. For those having trouble, here are some surefire methods:

Lose a tremendous amount of weight and be the spokesperson for Jenny Craig, gain it back and parlay that into a television show;

Become his mistress, or better yet, have the baby of a married politician and pose for Vanity Fair; or in the event you're male, pretend you've fathered said baby and write a book;

Get mauled by a 200-pound chimp or keep one as a pet;

Admit to having been sexually abused as a child, best if the perpetrator was famous;

Cover yourself with tattoos and have an affair with the husband of an Oscar winner;

Have three names and assassinate a world leader;

Get to be the first to sue Toyota;

Sing beautifully while looking frumpy;

Be a hanger on to someone likely to come to as tragic an end as Michael Jackson or Anna Nicole Smith;

Become a religious leader, teacher, doctor or dentist and, in that capacity, have sex with someone;

Transgender, but it helps to have a well known parent;

Be named a "person of interest" in an unsolved murder case, which may involve having several mates die suspiciously or being the last one seen with the victim;

Gain some amount of fame as an athlete and then take steroids, attack another athlete or be attacked, admit to a sexual addiction or conduct dog fights;

Admit to running a huge ponzi scheme or be a family member of one who does;

Gain fame and try to leave Scientology;

If all else fails, be named Brittany, Lindsay or Paris and go to parties.