This isn't about not holding myself accountable for my actions; it's about no longer reflexively blurting out an apology I don't really owe. It's about changing my default setting from unnecessary guilt.
Call me a wuss, but I can't sleep at night if I think I've hurt someone's feelings. I will stay up until I've formulated the perfect apology. Sometimes the person to whom I apologize has no idea what I'm talking about.
When we forgive others, we let go of our anger, resentment and bitterness, and we free ourselves of a great emotional burden that keeps us stuck in the past, in a perpetual state of perceived victimhood long after having been victimized.
"Misspeaking" refers to fumbling for the right word. It is accidental, a slip-up. It is not when someone who clearly believes what he or she is saying tries to make nice by claiming they didn't really mean what they very obviously said.
I have given this a lot of thought over the last several years and come to the conclusion that it is almost never a good idea for anybody in our culture to apologize about anything, even when they are in the wrong