Measuring racism is not always a clear dichotomy. Not every attitude or word spoken is either clearly "racist" or "not-racist," to put this another way. There is a spectrum. The good news is that the spectrum shifts over time. What was once considered acceptable becomes taboo. Attitudes shift, even if it takes generations.
The only people who can use the word "faggot" based on an incorrect, playground definition are children. Once you grow up and learn what the word really means, you have a moral obligation to change your behavior so that you don't use a word that perpetuates the dehumanization of people whom you claim to respect.
Bigoted people of all stripes and sizes will continue to cling to their prejudices and sadly, they will even demand that their intolerant and inaccurate beliefs be the standard by which all of society lives. It's time to call them on their hate and stop equating them with valid and informed stances.