My kids are smart. They have a genetic predisposition. I was smart. Their dad was smart. We had high GPAs. We graduated college with suma-cum-somethings. We were a parent's dream. Until Henry graduated, couldn't get a job and had to borrow money from his parents.
Suppose you were trying to influence people's opinion about particular policies. Would it be better to talk about the specific policy, or is it more effective to focus on the values related to that policy?
Much as I wanted to lose the 25 pounds, believing that I shouldn't have to was more powerful. And so the weight piled on. And stayed. Finally aware of this underlying belief, I had a decision to make: pride or humility.
I am not "the best" at anything. I can do a few things adequately. I can drive a 5-speed on the steepest hills in San Francisco. I can captain a sailboat. I can do a back handspring (at least, I used to be able to do this). But that's hardly "the best."
The solution to breeding self-confidence in women is to celebrate that their reality, Spanx and all, is aspirational in and of itself. That reality is all of the things that make us amazing women -- like our smarts, or our humor or how we love. Beauty is a thing, not the thing.
I implore you to give yourself the grace to dream things could be different, the kindness to ask what that would mean for you, the fortitude to find out how you could realistically get there, and then have the patience and diligence to follow it though -- seeking out help when you need it
As we define what is, if only with our thoughts, our attention follows. Our creative mind begins to look for the reality that matches our thoughts, and we begin to naturally notice the opportunities that can help lead us to our goals.