If I am having an "issue" with someone, and it turns ugly, can "B," the mutual friend of us both, love us both, and stay loyal to us both without having to choose sides or get stuck in our mess? The answer from my perspective is: maybe.

All relationships have conflict. Conflicts are a part of life and can provide an opportunity for learning and growth -- if they are approached with caring for yourself and the other person.

When you are able to see the big picture and realize what is actually going on, you will quietly and calmly become the master of your own life. Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors will carefully calibrate themselves with clarity, peace, understanding, and truth in order to define a happy life.

Feeling fully seen, accepted, valued and cherished are really wonderful experiences, and these feelings can generate the kind of safety that leads to intimacy, spontaneity and aliveness in the relationship and in the bedroom.

Argument and debate are going to happen, even in the best of partnerships, but it doesn't have to mean doomsday or that you're not compatible. In fact, I have found some conflict can actually be a stepping stone to a more honest, intimate place and can foster better communication.

The key to managing conflict is to first and foremost recognize that we are different from other people. We each have different values, priorities, and perspectives. Everyone is not going to see the world the same way we do.

The perfect gift this Valentine's Day may just be imperfection -- deciding to not fear it, together. Vow to each other that you'll hang in differently with a fight.

In my work with couples, they may tell me that they had a big fight, and when I ask what they were fighting about, they often can't remember. The reason for this is that it's rarely the issue itself, but how they are dealing with the issue that creates the most problems.

Did I blame myself for what felt like some emotional abuse? Of course not. But at the same time I had to face facts. I'd made a poor choice. I hadn't acted like the person I wanted to be. And it negatively impacted others.