An overwhelming number of people who choose to enter the dating world after age 50 have already lived at least 50 years. And, if they are like most people over 50 (and many people under) some of their early choices in life, while not resulting in life in a maximum security prison, may have still been in the category of 'Actions I Took Which May Have Been Beneath My Highest Possibility.'
Back when you were in your teens or early 20s, you probably didn't date all that much. In an environment like high school or college, you were surrounded by men and women who were single and young just like you were. When you found someone, you hung out and really got to know each other before you fell in love and chose to marry.
There are three Bermuda Triangles boomer men can get lost in. The first is in the Atlantic Ocean. The second is a crude reference to a part of a woman's anatomy some men insist they routinely get lost in. The third is boomer dating, the subject of this article, and the three legs are boomer women, casual sex, and myopic expectations.
When Elana met Mike, his good looks took her breath away. He looked so handsome in his black pants, white shirt and sport coat. She couldn't believe how nice he had dressed for a date with her. She loved that he so wanted to impress her. A mutual friend had introduced them so she felt comfortable with Mike's suggestion that he pick her up.
Almost everybody I've come across who's over 50 and was going through their first divorce said adamantly, 'I will never get married again.' A few years later, I've been to the weddings of many of those people. After you've been through a divorce, it takes a lot of soul searching to make any post-divorce relationship a permanent one.
We're the generation that changed the politico-socio-sexual attitudes of the entire free world in the sixties, so smoothing out our dating behavior would seem easy in comparison. Finger pointing won't help because we're all flawed. Dating isn't supposed to be a contact sport, and being able to see the unique person beyond their imperfections only requires a mirror.
You know the saying... A picture is worth a thousand words. This is especially true when it comes to online dating sites. Like it or not, we are visual beings. That's why it is so important to have a great picture representing the real you online. It is the key for opening the door to being contacted on dating sites.
It's virtually impossible to express a strong point of view about dating, sex, and relationships without provoking anyone. When I hear a boomer woman say she's given up dating, my knee jerk reaction is to argue against her decision. Giving up dating conflicts with my lifelong attitude about never giving up on anything worthwhile.
Ask any married woman if she knows any single, eligible older women and she will rattle off any number of names. Ask if she knows older single men and she will either have no idea or will suggest Ralph, her husband's never-married second cousin whose hobby is creating sculptures of all the former Presidents, using Styrofoam peanuts and twist ties.
In the 1979 melodrama, 'Hardcore,' starring George C. Scott, writer-director Paul Schrader was less than subtle when he gave his villain the name Ratan, which rhymes with Satan. In my scenario, the man who told me his name was Larry was really Barry. He also failed to mention that he had a wife, who I will give the name Carrie, just to keep it phonetic.
With grey divorce on the rise, many couples over 50 are looking to leave their disappointing marriages and reinvent themselves. The older you are when you divorce, the more variables there are to consider. However, even though it's difficult and there are many challenges, you can't stay in a situation that no longer works for you and one that you know will never work again.