Presumably I, as a fat woman, would not know how to properly operate the complicated piece of equipment known as a bikini. What if I became distracted by the complexity of spandex, a substance heretofore unknown to me, and wandered blindly into traffic? What if I ate it?
I love that Louis CK script because he has opened up a space for dialogue about the real problem. It's not that some women are fat, it's that fat women carry a stigmatized identity, and association will stigmatize the fat woman's partner too.
I'm pretty damn fat and unabashedly so. I eat well enough, I shop at our local food co-op and I own a juicer. I'm constantly on my feet at work, attending intensive African Dance classes (which I'm really f*cking great at), riding bicycles and having a sh*t ton of sex.
Acceptance, not rejection, is they key that unlocks the possibility of making the changes necessary to address our nation's obesity epidemic. In my experience, it is those who accept their weight and deal with it powerfully who achieve the most profound and lasting weight loss results.
"Fat" and "thin" women are often separated by fat activists into two distinct groups: largely those "affected" and "not affected." Thin women often see themselves as "removed" from the issue of fat activism and fat women often see thin women as untouched or unaffected. Neither of these are true.
That's so sad, I thought. It'd be so sad to feel that way, to think about oneself as being fat -- like it's an identity, like it's who you are. And the sweat ran through my hair and into a rivulet in front of my left ear and the room seemed to go dark.
Fat is a descriptor, but in our increasingly fat-biased and phobic culture it has become strongly associated with undesirable traits like being lazy, stupid, mean and more likely to steal -- beliefs held by preschoolers and doctors alike.
It's not about the numbers. It's not about streamlining or looking "better" to a society that hates my body type. It's about being healthy. Looking at the health problems I have and trying to lessen them. It's about being energetic, having stamina, and not being tired.
I don't tell these stories to get people to feel sorry for me. I'm telling them because this is the standard of care for fat people, it seems. I'm by far not the only person who's been written off because of her weight.