This is the kind of "novel "that plays by its own rules and offers something of obvious value to its mostly female readership. For the uninitiated it can be gloriously instructive and for the more mature it could offer a choice menu of self-help inspiration.

Oh, ladies, and fellas. This IS porn. Of the worst kind! For girls, the fantasy is... the guy calls me back! Flies across the country to see me. Makes me meet his parents. Oh, yeah, did I say... he calls me back! That's hot.

Following are five novels that, in pre-Twitter, YouTube, Facebook times, went viral (or at least had readers gasping and gossiping) in a printable sort of way.

From Fifty Shades of Grey to Girls to the vibrator comedy Hysteria, female sexuality is taking over popular culture -- and Albom ain't having any of it.

Check out these nine hot tips taken from Fifty Shades of Pleasure, and make your own sex life a best-seller!

Maybe the boundless intellectual freedom of our country spoils the illicit pleasures of reading something of quality. Maybe the novel is dead. Who is to say that a book is more thought-provoking than a television show?

With acknowledgment to, and a deep abiding respect for, Paul Simon, in the sincere hope that no legal action will be forthcoming. "The problem is Fif...