I was surprised that our friendship had meant so much -- that she must have sensed early on that I was no candidate for marriage -- that our romance was temporary and chaste, and it would be no more than a nice interlude until she met the guy who was a candidate for marriage. With many intervening decades and changes in her life, I thought those days as undergraduates were mostly erased. It was wonderful to find the friendship not forgotten.
hough there are times when I miss having little children, being the mom of adults has its perks. This Mother's Day I thought I'd share the great things about having children who are all grown up.
My mom was a homemaker, devoted to her husband and family, and like many women of her generation she didn't work outside the home. She took child raising very seriously (I have two siblings) and adored her grandkids. But there were a few things she forgot to teach me.
Some people think Mother's Day has become too commercial, and there are always those cranks around still harping on the US lagging behind other developed countries in providing high quality early child care, don't get them started on paid maternal leave or unequal pay for women. Not me: I'm all for mothers getting anything they can, bring it on, I mean, really, just make sure to give them enough stuff on Mother's Day to get them through the other 364 days of childcare without that village that never shows up to help.
Mother's Day is an American holiday that seems to be embedded in our culture. While many call it a "Hallmark Holiday," Mother's Day initially was born from the idea that mothers who lost sons in the Civil War should band together in their sorrow and rally for peace. It finally became a national holiday with the passing of a new bill and a proclamation from Woodrow Wilson in 1914.
Despite the societal thrust to make sure we are all having a rip-roaring sex life, sex and emotional well-being can be uncoupled -- they are not necessarily linked, as the cultural imperative would have us believe. Simply, the culture reveres sex and orgasms as if these two "gods" must be worshipped. What about the celebration of celibacy as an equally healthy option? I'd love to see sex therapy include celibacy on the menu of choices for a couple instead of diagnosing a non-sexually active couple as needing a remedy.
It has been said that with age comes wisdom, but that is not always the case. Some people are shortchanged, and they get only the age part. My history and 60 years have helped me gain a touch of wisdom and maybe even a bit of profundity. I have decided that being around for the past six decades gives me license to point out stupidity, craziness, and injustice.
Whether you're married or single, straight or gay, by nature men are competitive. With this in mind, it's always a good idea to know what women want because after all, they make great allies, and we can truly benefit from another point of view. In my survey of more than 20 women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s, I was surprised to find that the focus was greater on manners, grooming and tailoring, than fashion and trends.
Many believe that the current age of technology keeps us more connected. I disagree. Computers, cellphones, iPads, etc. serve a purpose, but it's not to keep us connected with each other. The disconnect amongst people is startling. Instead of interacting with a real, live human being, we read emails or texts. Or, perhaps we read a blog. We're far more attached to technology than people.