If HIV-negative men were more assertive about their status, they could take on a fairer share of responsibility in regard to HIV prevention. HIV-positive men have their own status to manage. It's not their responsibility to manage yours too, but it seems that they're expected to do so.

I don't support marriage equality simply for other people. I want to walk down the aisle one day. But in the community in which I live, Palm Springs, Calif., I find that there is an immense shortage of single, available, poz-friendly, sober-friendly total tops.

Don't get me wrong: As I begin to drag this conversation out of the closet and take it with me to hang out with the boys, I plan on doing so with a healthy amount of self-tanner, copious doses of sarcasm and a shot of tequila every now and then.

Thirty years into the epidemic the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS has greatly diminished, especially in big cities and in areas such as Palm Springs and its environs. Nevertheless, there undeniably still exists a dividing line between the pluses and the minuses.

The danger of the "third-date rule" is that it allows for feelings to develop, albeit little baby ones. Disclosing your status once a semblance of trust has formed is like placing a loaded gun in front of a person and asking them not to shoot you with it. I prefer to avoid the firing range.