Logically, the answer is simple: Don't get involved with someone who isn't willing to be seen with you in public. And in a perfect world, I think that's what I would have done before I allowed myself to become the "secret boyfriend." But as anyone who has ever been in love will tell you, sometimes logic goes out the window.
I'd like to present a thought experiment with two different questions posed by two different judges during oral arguments on the legal right of gay couples to marry. Their inquiries relate to whether it is constitutionally permissible to deny gay couples the right to marry because of purported concerns relating to the welfare of children.