Jesus would send out an emergency text to his homegirls to come rescue him. He'd stall in the meantime: "Mark, I'm really flattered that you've devoted your entire ministry to me. That means a lot. Tell me more about what attracted you to Christianity." Mark would lean over and whisper two words in Jesus' ear: "Real. Men."
Complementarian megachurch pastors are like pitchers who only throw 40-mile-an-hour change-ups. It feels cheap and dirty to swing at their pitches, but I'm genuinely bothered by what I've been hearing lately from that strange foreign land where Christians believe that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.