Marriage: A Cakewalk
As we learn from those in the public eye, couples can come undone no matter how together they look from the outside.
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Portrait Of An Open Marriage, Take Two: Yes, I Have A Husband And A Girlfriend
I met Jemma at an art gallery. She had told me she was straight. But after about six months of spending time together, we went away on a weekend trip. It was on that trip that she asked me to kiss her...
Women Want Their Sexuality Back -- Now. And Opening Marriage Just Might Help.
Once we girls refuse to think of ourselves as nothing more than receptacles for the male sex organ, then we are free to spend less time tossing our hair and more time tossing out the trash who are serving in office.
Gay Marriage is Natural
Much of the anti-gay-marriage argument rests on two assumptions: Life-long exclusive mate-bonding for purpose of rearing offspring is natural, and homosexuality is not. Both have little basis in fact.
"Marry Him!": Atlantic Magazine Back-of-the-Book Backlash Porn
Lori Gottlieb, writing in the Atlantic magazine, has one word for single women of any age: Settle! Settle, she exhorts us, even for the guy who smell...
On Settling for Mr. Good Enough
There's nothing original about the idea that women have better marriage prospects at age 30 than at 40, and if we don't want to end up alone, we should pay attention.
Honey, I Want to Sleep With Other People
Some people believe that it isn't possible to be in love with more than one person at a time or to have sex with people outside of a primary, committed relationship. But it is possible.
The Bachelorette: He Can Kayak, But Can DeAnna's Future Husband Do What Really Matters?
You can't judge a man by how he acts on vacation: If The Bachelorette were serious about making real matches, they'd forget tropical islands and let DeAnna see what how these dudes behave in real life.
Four Reasons Not to Get Married in California
There are important personal and symbolic reasons for gays to marry in California. But it is a mistake to act without thinking carefully about the serious legal and financial implications.
Mating in Captivity: Esther Perel Reconciles 'Sex' and 'Marriage'
If you have to talk to a stranger about your sex life, Esther Perel will do just fine.
Oprah, Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry, Jessica Lange...Faces of Fear?
Like the nagging relative or the smug married friend, this inquiring mind was asking of each of these unmarried couples, "So why aren't you married?"
What Men Talk About
The biggest complaint I hear from wives is they don't share their emotions. Here are the 10 reasons why husbands don't open up to their wives.
Can Wives Wear the Pants?
People are presuming that Guy Ritchie and Madonna are breaking up because the wife is more powerful than the husband. Which also, presumably, means it would be OK if the genders were reversed.
14 Ways To Avoid Nagging
In marriage, or any partnership, chores are a huge source of conflict. How do you get your sweetheart to hold up his or her end, without nagging? One...
Polyamorous and Public: Why I Wrote a Book About My Open Marriage
I get a lot of questions about my open marriage. I also get a lot of questions about why I talk publicly about it online and in my new book, "Open: Lo...
It's National Singles Week - Let's Revisit Those "Best Cities for Singles"
September 16-22 is Unmarried and Single Americans Week. Just in time for the celebration, the Census Bureau just released the latest figures showing a...
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Jenny Block: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are in an Open Marriage. Maybe.
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If you need a celebrity to "come out" to legitimize your chosen lifestyle, maybe you need to re-evaluate your lifestyle.
Ellen DeGeneres coming out didn't legitimize the GLBTQ community, millions of people were happily living an "out" life and being accepted by their friends and family before she came out. When she came out, her show was cancelled and it was her talent, not her lifestyle that put her back on top. Comparing homosexuality to a desire to have sex with multiple partners from the safety of a lifetime commitment is disingenuous.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett being in an open marriage wouldn't convince me that open marriage is a great thing but that's mainly because I don't actually know of anyone who's made a success of an open marriage. I've been married for 28 years in a deliciously conventional marriage and we've seen friends and a family member go though hell because in each case, the open part of the marriage was only truly desired by one person in the marriage or they failed to disclose their agreement with their multiple partners and someone on the outside of their arrangement was hurt.
The fact that I've never seen it work in a practical sense doesn't mean it can't happen... but even Will Smith said in the UK mag interview that although they have an open marriage, they haven't yet gone outside their relationship...
See Wes Isley's Profile
Cinemaven: I see your point about not needing Ellen to come out to "legitimize" things--however, her celebrity has helped in a very general way change the overall atmosphere for gays. Today she's an out lesbian with a top talk show. 10 years ago--never would've happened. Things have changed because of what she did.
But just because you don't know of any open marriages that work doesn't mean they're not out there. Just like GLBTQ relationships. For decades or longer, conservatives used tha same argument: "I don' t know any happy gays in relationships, so they don't exist and it must not be possible." That's never the case. Instead, the happy ones live under the radar.
So if Will and Jada are in an open marriage and it is working and they do become public about it--that totally would help others who are thinking of such an arrangement as well as those currently living under the radar.
Wes, unfortunately, the space limitations didn't allow for a lot of elaboration on the Ellen point. I do agree that her coming out began an important dialogue and made it so much easier for others to publicly come out. Maybe I was just lucky to have had good friends and family members who have never lived under the radar when it came to living their genuine lives.
.....
I have nothing against open marriages or any other arrangement two legally consenting adults want to pursue. I'm just gettin' old and have seen too many people try the open marriage route and then watched the damage as someone ended up getting hurt so I'm a bit jaded and don't think it's possible to have both a long term committed relationship AND as many sexual partners as you can find. If a friend came to me and let me know that she was in a happy and wonderful open relationship, I'd be very accepting but I'd also have a box of kleenex on hand just in case...
.... oh, and conservatives will ALWAYS use that argument. Ellen,Rosie or Neil Patrick Harris coming out won't make them open their eyes to anything they don't want to accept. Will Smith opening up on how open his second marriage is also won't make a conservative embrace that idea. :)
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