As a psychologist, I've been asked frequently about red flags or warning signs that may contribute to violent or aggressive behavior. For the most part, dozens of interpersonal red flags can be summarized by two alarms: change and disclosure of information.

Psychologists have proposed lots of different "vehicles" over the years: grit, self-efficacy, optimism, passion, inspiration, etc. They are all important. One vehicle, however, is particularly undervalued and under-appreciated in psychology and society. That's hope.

Falling in love with your psychiatrist can be a normal part of therapy. Known as transference, the patient is transferring feelings she has toward a parent or authority figure, onto the therapist.

Seeing a therapist of any sort can be extraordinarily useful at certain points in your life.

Let's say you're in the minority of people who actually seek out the help of a mental health professional. Who do you turn to?

I will never forget one hard-driving executive who chose "When I get better at letting go." His first benefit was that his direct reports would take more responsibility. His final benefit was that he would probably live to celebrate his 60th birthday.

Instead of screaming on the soccer sidelines like an overzealous mother, I supported their desires and boosted their self confidence by listening, supporting and dreaming with them.