It takes courage to know who we are and what we stand for. It takes courage to act from the core of our own being -- our core essence. Learning how to deal effectively with rejection strengthens our sense of self and builds our resilience when confronting life's challenges.

Whether you want more happiness, less stress, or to build your resilience reserves, the key is to get FAT -- flexible, accurate and thorough -- about your thinking. The ripple effects will astound you.

Many of the changes that come through our ever-evolving lives create stressful moments. Who hasn't lost sleep over worrying about an exam, a sick child or an important meeting at work, the loss of a loved one?

It's this ability to stay connected, to stand by each other, that has kept the people of Boston strong during one of the worst weeks in the city's storied history. But they're not the only ones who have the ability to shore up resilience. You do. I do.

Dedication, bravery and a willingness to help total strangers is the real story in Boston. Even though we are capable of causing great harm to others, we are also capable of extraordinary acts of goodness. We need to be reminded of that daily.

Americans all feel closer to the city of Boston. Even Yankees fans can put aside their rivalry in the face of tragedy. Why do we feel closer to others in times of crisis? There is a prominent framework in social psychology called "terror management theory" that helps us to understand this behavior.

The truth is, "no" doesn't mean we are a bad person or doomed to failure. It's not evidence of a conspiracy against us by the fates or proof that our parents/teachers/siblings were right about us and we never will amount to anything. It just means "not yes." That's it. "Not yes."

So give us a brief time to cry, to grieve. Something really bad happened. Let us work through our emotions. Then after that, spit in the eye of fate and the madmen, be proud of our cities and our nationality, and gain revenge in normality.

The men and women who ran into the scene of the explosions, risking their lives to help save another, is an act that shows just how strong this community is. The ability for complete strangers to come together as one during times of crisis is something that is larger than life.

We cannot let yesterday's attack, an assault on the essence of the human spirit, create within us fragmentation and destruction. We must continue to achieve. We must continue to come together.

Having self-love makes you more resilient and able to bounce back from a stumble. It really is the cornerstone to allowing your dreams to come alive, to attracting healthy relationships, and to living a full life.

I have taken pride in my ability to plan. Whether the plan is big (when and how to buy a house or get a graduate degree) or small (where and when to go on vacation and the details of what to do), planning plays to my strengths. Scope it out, write it down, follow the script.

While research indicates that training in forgiveness can actually bring about improvements in both well-being and health, actually forgiving can be easier said than done. If forgiveness is something you want to practice, try one of these strategies.