So far so good. He makes you smile. He turns you on. The banter is flirty, playful and just enough to make you bite your lip in anticipation. Then he probes: "What do you like?" or "How do you like it?"
Shame survives in the darkest recesses of one's insecure, self-loathing and self-doubting mind. Shame needs fear and negativity to survive. These "dark" forces are no match for the "light" of love, acceptance, self-respect and, most of all, courage.
If the goal of opposing workplace bullying is indeed to promote more humane workplace environments, decrease workplace aggression, and reduce the potential for workplace violence, shaming targets or shaming bullies is counterproductive.