Years ago, I escaped from 18 years of an abusive situation -- and I know that it isn't chains that hold you. I was not tied in a basement. I could have found a way to escape. But my chains were mental and proved to be a much stronger binding than any physical restraint could have been.
Perhaps the most destructive part of the problem is that no one is proposing ways to stop it from happening. There are programs for men who have been abusive, and programs for women who have been abused, but what about programs for men before they become abusive?
Domestic abuse in the military is the best kept secret and is a silent tragedy. Due to frequent moves, the majority of military families live on one income. Their only source of financial security for the family is the active duty soldier.
I hear from a disheartening number of women who write in to relate their stories of pastors who, in one way or another, advised them to stick with their abusive husbands. How could these good, well-intentioned men give advice that's so egregiously wrong?