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Letterman Skewers Bud Adams: "Top 10 Signs Your NFL Team Owner Is Nuts" (VIDEO)

2009-11-18T10:35:25Z

In light of Titans owner Bud Adams receiving a $250,000 fine for giving the finger to fans at Sunday's Bills-Titans game, David Letterman explored NFL ownership last night with his top ten list, "Signs Your NFL Team Owner Is Nuts." The list includes "Pre-game pep talk asks team to lose by more than seven-and-a-half" and "Team plays in North Carolina, builds new stadium in North Dakota." Check out the full list below.

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Catie Lazarus: Top 10 Reasons This Woman Can't Write for Late Night Comedy Shows

2009-11-12T20:07:00Z

In the New York Times, Bill Carter writes ,"very few women make it inside the writing rooms for late-night television hosts, despite that women make up a larger proportion of their audience than men. There are no female writers on the new “The Jay Leno Show,” none on “Late Show with David Letterman,” none on “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.”"

Based on his article and Nell Scovell's personal account in Vanity Fair, I have come to understand why the odds are stacked against my wedging my paw in the door. I still have hope (also known as delusion).

The Top 10 Reasons This Woman Can't Write for Late Night Comedy Variety Shows

10) I will be overcome by desire for my male comedy writing peers
and superiors, who are known for their off-white, pasty skin and muscle tonus
minimus, akin to albino, soft shell turtles.

9) My lady sensibility is limited to menstruation
(hilarious), babies (adorable), and unicorns mating
(adorably hilarious).

8) Due to my genetic make-up, I am physically incapable to
handle the job, considering the heavy manual labor required in touch typing.

7) The number one rule of comedy is fitting in and I sometimes buck the uniform of orthopedic New Balance sneakers,
hoodies, jeans, and t-shirts, with ironic catchphrases like, "Pro-Cashmere. Pro-Cotton.
Pro-Choice."

6) The only requests I get as
a female comedy writer are to discuss sexism in comedy, instead of political satire about how Sarah Palin is so sick she
gives swine flu or scripts like Crones:
The Musical! or commercials, maybe, Femedy: A bubble gum
birth control for tweens who don't want to ovulate. Period.

5) Late-night comedy requires a male point-of-view, and girls,
even ones closer to menopause than teething, can only express themselves in
glittery pink (which, fyi, typing in does
not fund cancer research).

4) As a lady, I automatically cost less, and in a business where money talks, how will I be taken seriously? I mean funnily.

3) I didn't graduate from Harvard so I lack the cultural capital to craft the erudite, intellectual fodder
typical of late-night comedies, like the masturbating bear or gift
wrapped genitalia.

2) Hollywood would have to make major changes to catch up with
medicine, law, even engineering, in its hiring practices, and we all know how open television is to change. It only took 30 years (and millions of dollars) before CNN let Native
American Lou Dobbs quit. (I mean, leave to spend time with his family.)

1) I'd have to be funny and learn
how to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Ricky Gervais Is Annoyed By Everything (VIDEO)

2009-11-07T06:53:21Z

Ricky Gervais is not a tolerant man--everything annoys him. He posits he'll end up like Howard Hughes, shutting the world out to avoid its germs. Gervais told David Letterman last night that he hates restaurants, whistling, and lateness--the latter because he can't believe people aren't rushing with excitement to see him.

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Russell Bishop: Do You Have To Accept Being A Victim?

2009-11-02T08:40:51Z

What if I'm the one to blame for my own difficult circumstances?

That could be pretty hard to accept if you are one who was hit by the drunken driver, harder still if you look at the circumstances of someone who was abused at the hands of a stronger person, one who clearly lacked the ability to defend themselves at the time.

So, let's shift the question from blaming someone else for my circumstances, to:

Who's to blame for how I experience my circumstances?

Now, this one could be really interesting, especially for those of you who like to keep raising the red herring of "blaming the victim."

Anyone who has ever worked with victims of various tragedies will know that there is a great deal of difference between what happened and how the person responds to what happened. You may not have chosen the circumstances, but sooner or later you are going to have to accept responsibility for your responses and choices that come after the fact.

(An important caveat here: I am definitely not addressing those who may have been truly incapable of choosing or responding differently. For example, I am not addressing those who have become brain injured. However, I am addressing those who continue to bemoan their fate rather than get on with what's left.)

There are thousands of examples around us every day of people who have gone through hell and chosen to rise above what has happened to them. Some will say these are superheroes, and, I suppose they are in a way. What makes them super, however, has precious little to do with gifted abilities; it does have to do with the mindful awareness and courage to accept that if anyone is going to do anything about my problems, it's probably going to start with me.

My favorite example is Mitchell, as he prefers to be called. Mitchell was horribly disfigured in a fiery motorcycle crash many years ago; after many surgeries and a lengthy recovery, he then found himself paralyzed as a result of a small airplane crash. As he is fond of saying,

"Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I've lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left."

Read his book, It's Not What Happens To You, It's What You Do About It, and see for yourself what could happen if you truly do choose to accept responsibility for your next steps.

Can Acceptance Be The Key To Lasting Change?

This opens an important question in terms of creating life in a more fulfilling and uplifting way - the role of acceptance.

Acceptance may be one of those mandatory preconditions not only improving your life experience, but also for discovering your source of Inspiration and Aspiration.

(If you want to follow the larger context, here's a link to my free archive of Huff Post articles. You can either start with the July 20, 2009 post which started this series on inspiration and aspiration, or you may prefer to go all the way back to my first post on July 15, 2008. There's no way I know of to impart a complete answer in a single post, so if some of this seems to be hanging out there a bit, you may find it useful to read some of the earlier posts and connect the dots.)

If someone chooses to live in a state of denial, it's pretty hard to help them make any improvement. Talk to anyone counsels people in difficult circumstances, ranging from addiction and cancer to divorce and bankruptcy, and most will tell you that a critical step on the path to recovery is acceptance.

Acceptance does not mean "liking it." You don't have to like your circumstance, you just have to acknowledge the reality and accept that the circumstance is what it is. Mitchell couldn't do anything to change the disfigurement or paralysis yet neither did he have to dwell on some kind of self-pity or bemoan his fate. While it might be understandable that one would indulge in a few rounds of self-pity, sooner or later acceptance has to show up if you are going to move forward.

Shortly after my father died, the insurance company denied both health and death benefits, and our family was forced into a third bankruptcy, I wound up living in my beater of a car. Sure, not the same level as Mitchell, but tough enough for an 18 year old.

I received some great counsel from an early mentor, Ernie Gourdine. Ernie turned me on to Fritz Perls (considered the "father of Gestalt therapy"). Fritz was big on awareness with a constant suggestion that simple awareness can often be curative. Awareness is a precursor to acceptance - hard to accept what you don't notice.

I found myself blaming my family, blaming the hospital, blaming the insurance company, and just about anything or anyone around. Then I noticed that no matter how much I blamed something or someone, I still had my circumstances to deal with. Once I accepted the reality - a beater car, a few clothes, $6.35 in the bank, and not much else - I was then able to start making choices about how to improve my situation.

To be sure, there were numerous challenges, but the only choice I had was to choose or to collapse and decry my fate.

So, take a look at your circumstances. Can you accept that they just are what they are? Even if it seems you have been dealt a raw hand, it's still the hand you are left to play. If you are going to improve upon the current reality, the very first thing you have to do is accept what you have. You don't have to like it, want it or anything close; you just have to accept that what's present, is what's so. From there, you can begin to make choices about how to make things a bit better.

You can blame the banks, the politicians, the greedy powers that be, and just about anyone else. I know from my own experience, that after you get done blaming, you are still going to be left with your life, your circumstances, and your next choices.

So, consider carefully how you choose. Each choice leads you somewhere. Are you choosing a direction your truly prefer?

More on this notion to come, including some thoughts about progress vs. perfection, and what to do if the next choice you make doesn't work out quite the way you hoped.

As always, please do share your thoughts, comments and suggestions, either via the comments section below, or by emailing me directly.

***

Russell Bishop is an Educational Psychologist, professional life coach and management consultant, based in Santa Barbara California. You can find out more about Russell at http://www.lessonsinthekeyoflife.com. Contact Russell by email at: Russell (at) lessonsinthekeyoflife.com

Chad Ochocinco On Letterman: Bengals WR Unveils Top Ten List (VIDEO)

2009-10-30T10:35:19Z

Chad Ochocinco stopped by the "Late Show" last night to unveil a special Top Ten list of revelations in his autobiography. The Cincinnati wide receiver revealed that the book is actually "all about my life as a hockey mom in Alaska" and nine other secrets. Ochocinco's book, Ocho Cinco: What Football and Life Have Thrown My Way, is in stores now. Watch the entire list below.

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Bud Selig Talks Steroids With David Letterman (VIDEO)

2009-10-29T09:57:55Z

MLB commissioner Bud Selig stopped by the "Late Show" last night and discussed steroids with David Letterman. Selig defended the league's efforts to police steroids, boasting that Major League players had just "two positive tests" this year. When asked if he uses steroids, the commissioner responded: "If I am, they didn't work."

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BJ Gallagher: Sexual Harassment: Just The Facts, Ma'am

2009-10-13T15:48:56Z

Where's Jack Webb when we need him? As allegations, speculation, and conjecture about David Letterman and sexual harassment fly around on talk shows and blogs, many are wondering: "Just what is sexual harassment, anyway?" If the boss asks you out for a drink, is that harassment? If you tell a coworker she looks hot, will you get sued? If an important customer hits on you, should you call your attorney? Where's the line between flirting and sexual harassment?"

The issue of sexual harassment is fraught with ambiguity. It's emotionally loaded because it is so personal and intense - involving both sex and power. Many people have strong feelings about it: People who've experienced sexual harassment are often affected in a very negative way - both emotionally and professionally. They sometimes carry psychic wounds for years after the event(s). And those who have been accused of harassment have strong feelings as well - ranging from anger to confusion to guilt.

Perhaps some solid facts would be helpful in the face of recent hyperbolic, hyperventilating hysteria over Letterman in particular - and powerful men in general.

Many people think that sexual harassment is something that men do to women. FACT: 90% of harassment is male to female; 5% is female to male; 4% is male to male; and 1% is female to female. Sexual harassment is not just a women's problem - it's everyone's problem.

Are there different types of sexual harassment? FACT: According to federal and state law, there are two types: (1) Quid Pro Quo, in which the harasser makes his or her demands for sexual favors a condition of employment or benefits (ie, a promotion, raise, better working conditions). Threats of retaliation against the victim are also included in this type of harassment. (2) Hostile Work Environment, in which unwelcome sexual demands, behavior, comments, jokes, and/or pictures, posters, photos or a sexual nature create an "offensive, hostile, oppressive and intimidating workplace" which "unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance."

How can people stop sexual harassment? FACT: About 80% of harassment is unintentional and is stopped simply by pointing out to the harasser that the behavior or situation is unwelcome and uncomfortable. Very often the harasser may have good intentions in paying a compliment to someone, but the compliment is not received positively by the recipient. Telling people in clear, firm language how you want to be treated and what kind of behavior is not acceptable to you is the best way to protect yourself from harassment.

How can people protect themselves from being accused of sexual harassment?
FACT: (1) Treat people as they want to be treated, not as you think they want to be treated. When in doubt, ask. (2) Ask yourself if there is equal initiation and participation during the interaction between you and other people. (3) Do not violate someone else's personal space without asking their permission. That is, do not touch someone or stand too close without asking if it's OK with them - unless the person is a close friend and you are both clear and comfortable with the terms of the relationship. (4) Remember that relationships change over time. Behavior that may have been OK at one time can become not OK if that relationship changes. When in doubt, check it out with the other person. (5) Play it safe by complimenting people on their work, not their appearance or attire.

Why are many people reluctant to talk about sexual harassment situations? FACT: People are often afraid they'll be branded as "troublemaker" and they don't want to rock the boat for fear it will hurt their career prospects. Or, they just don't know how to deal with the situation and don't know to whom they can turn for help. They may feel guilty or ashamed about the harassment - even going so far as to blame themselves. The harasser may be a powerful person in the organization and the victim may need their support or approval for career advancement. They may also fear retaliation. They may fear being blamed or laughed at. There are many reasons why people are reluctant to come forward to stop sexual harassment.

How can you address the complex problem of sexual harassment in your own organization? FACT: Education and prevention are the keys to eliminating sexual harassment from the workplace. Your organization should have a clear, firm policy statement outlining management's commitment to a harassment-free workplace. Regular training programs for both managers and employees can go a long way toward clearing up any confusion or uncertainty about sexual harassment.

Your organization should also have designated systems and procedures for handling complaints and investigations - it is critical that those resource people designated to be responsible for these procedures are highly trusted by both management and employees.

Management must be willing to take action if and when sexual harassment is discovered in your organization. Without a firm commitment to take swift action, management will lose credibility and leave itself open for expensive lawsuits.

Above all, everyone within the organization must work to keep the lines of communication open and build trust at all level so that people can air differences, clarify confusion, and make your business a place where everyone feels safe, supported, and productive.

That's it. Just the facts, ma'am. Any questions?

Top Ten Joe Wilson Excuses (VIDEO)

2009-09-11T09:14:09Z

David Letterman took on South Carolina Representative Joe Wilson last night in a top ten list explaining his "excuses" for shouting "you lie" during the president's health care speech Wednesday. Joe Wilson had been the butt of Internet humor for a full day by this point, but Dave and Craig didn't let that stop their fun.

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Tony Blair To Appear On Letterman

2009-09-02T18:07:17Z

NEW YORK — Tony Blair is set for his first appearance on David Letterman's "Late Show."

CBS says the former British prime minister will visit the late-night host on Tuesday for his first appearance on the show.

Artie Lange On His 25-Year-Old Girlfriend: 'She's A Child' (VIDEO)

2009-08-29T13:48:57Z

Artie Lange appeared on the "Late Show" last night and told David Letterman all about his 25-year-old girlfriend who he says he's been dating "since her prom." When Dave asked if she had children Lange responded, "No, she is a child."

Although this seems like a lovely and committed relationship, Lange says there's trouble in paradise when she wants to "do something." "I'm 41 and I'm done doing stuff...I want to sit in a chair that's this wide, and watch Sports Center and eat until I fit into the chair."

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Michael Russnow: Letterman's Running Gag About Crashing Obama/Oprah Dinner on Martha's Vineyard: Hasn't Dave Heard Teddy Kennedy Died?

2009-08-28T05:07:23Z

I'm a huge fan of David Letterman's and think he's the best of the current breed of talk show hosts, even though his monologues often hit and miss. Indeed I sometimes wonder if Dave realizes he's not doing a nightclub act in front of a different audience (nationwide that is) when he often repeats a joke almost word for word three or four days in a row.

But his panel patter -- mostly extemporaneous -- is unmatched by his Late Night Show peers such as The Tonight Show's Conan O'Brien, ABC's Jimmy Kimmel, CBS' Craig Ferguson and NBC's Jimmy Fallon. His sharp wit and well-informed grilling of his guests show that he is well read, very much in the know and incredibly up on current events.

So, how is it that, after having started a humorous rant early in the week relating to his comic obsession with Oprah Winfrey and her industry power, and wondering aloud why he wasn't invited to dinner with the president this coming weekend as she was -- since he was going to be on Martha's Vineyard at the same time -- Letterman continued the joke nightly -- as is his habit -- even after he must have known Teddy Kennedy had died on Cape Cod.

Obviously he hadn't on Tuesday, as his show is taped in the afternoon, but by Wednesday and Thursday he was surely aware. Yet, it seems that he and the other Late Show writers were determined to hang onto what they deemed to be a very amusing running gag, even though it was clear Obama was going to be delivering a eulogy at Kennedy's funeral on Saturday.

Even if Obama was going to keep his date with Oprah while preparing his remarks for the sad occasion, it seemed unseemly and inappropriate for Letterman to keep harping on this presumed "slight" by the president, as if Obama had nothing else on his mind.

Apart from the fact that I'm one of the many millions around the world who mourn Kennedy's death and am confident that Letterman, knowing his politics veer left, probably shares my profound feelings, this not-so-funny running bit seemed tasteless and particularly out of touch.

At first I thought, well, maybe Dave taped these shows, which is uncharacteristic, because when he goes on vacation they repeat episodes that are at least a few weeks old. But giving him the benefit of the doubt, I thought, well, maybe they did so a few days ahead to let him get out of town and to the Cape a few days early.

But his monologues included material that was very up-to-date, including John McCain's ejection of a woman from his town hall, which just happened Wednesday, not to mention Dave's reference to the nomination of Ben Bernanke for a second term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank.

So, it's clear this continuing "comic" faux pas about the Obama/Oprah dinner was done with knowledge of Senator Kennedy's loss. To that, I can only suggest Dave Letterman and his writing staff might show a little more consideration and sensitivity rather than being so in love with their material that they won't chuck it no matter how indifferent and oblivious to national and world events it makes them appear.

Michael Russnow's website is www.ramproductionsinternational.com

Letterman Defends Obama's Summer Reading List With Shot At Rush Limbaugh (VIDEO)

2009-08-27T09:45:54Z

David Letterman defended the president last night over what the Baltimore Sun jokingly refers to as "Hot-Flat-and-Crowded-gate." The president's staff recently released his summer reading list which included "Hot, Flat, and Crowded," a book he has already read. Dave took the opportunity to cut the president's detractors off at the knees by making one of his favorite targets the butt of the joke.

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Anna Wintour On Letterman: Critiques Dave's Socks, Jokes About Icy Image (VIDEO)

2009-08-25T08:04:14Z

FROM AP, VIDEO BELOW

NEW YORK — No aspect of fashion escapes the sharp eye of "Vogue" queen Anna Wintour, including David Letterman's socks.

Wintour, taping an appearance Monday on Letterman's "Late Show," labeled them "interesting."

Letterman, who called himself a "dope" who doesn't know anything about fashion, flashed a view of his gray stockings and invited Wintour to "take a look at those, honey."

Wintour, making her first appearance on CBS' "Late Show," is featured in the new documentary "The September Issue" about production of the 2007 issue that – arriving before the recession – was the biggest in Vogue's 117-year history.

The magazine editor made light of her image as an imperious and tough boss, but acknowledged that she is direct with her staff.

"Well, I'm very decisive and I try and give very clear direction to the people that I'm working with, and sometimes, unfortunately, they don't hear the answer that they would like to hear," Wintour said, according to a CBS transcript.

She's not "always warm and cuddly," she added, but she appreciates excellent work.

"Have you ever put anybody in a headlock?" Letterman replied, drawing audience laughter.

"Maybe you?" Wintour said.

She waved away the notion that she was the model for the cold, driven editor played by Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada," noting that Miranda Priestly was part of a fictional tale.

The September issue, which Wintour called the fashion industry's benchmark, comes at the start of the fall fashion season and is particularly important during the industry's "challenging time," she said.

Letterman asked what a person whose fashion budget was slashed to $20 by economic hardship might do with the money.

"Well, you could buy lipstick," Wintour replied.

___

On the Net: http://www.cbs.com

Patton Oswalt: Obama & Biden Are A Cool 80's Cop Flick (VIDEO)

2009-08-22T09:50:56Z

Patton Oswalt appeared on "The Late Show" last night, and talked about how similar the Obama administration seemed to an 80s buddy cop film.

"Our president is this really good looking, young black guy--always wears a really sharp suit, always has something really smart to say. And it hit me that our vice president is cranky old Joe Biden, who is in his 60, been doing this for decades. So, do you realize the next four years America is just gonna be a cool '80s cop flick? We have like the kick ass young rookie and his annoyed supervisor: 'Obama did you balance the budget again? You wrecked 20 cars!'"

He went on to mock home births and his weight.

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Yankees Win Over Oakland, Teixeira Drives In All 3 Runs

2009-08-21T09:00:08Z

OAKLAND, Calif. — Mark Teixeira hit a two-run homer, Alfredo Aceves earned his majors-leading eighth win as a reliever and the New York Yankees wrapped up a stretch of 33 games in 34 days with a 3-2 victory over the Oakland Athletics on Wednesday night.

Teixeira sent the first pitch from A's rookie Brett Anderson (7-9) into the elevated left-field bleachers in the fourth following Johnny Damon's leadoff single. Teixeira also had an RBI groundout in the first to put the Yankees ahead early.

Britney Spears Delivers Her (Pretaped?) Late Show Top Ten in a Bikini

2009-08-19T10:51:02Z

Her handlers clearly still aren't confident she can handle live television.

Read more: The Late Show, Home News

Britney Spears Delivers Her (Pretaped?) Late Show Top Ten in a Bikini

2009-08-19T10:51:01Z

Her handlers clearly still aren't confident she can handle live television.

Read more: The Late Show, Home News

Britney Spears Top Ten: Bikini-Clad Pop Star Tells Letterman What She'd Do As President (VIDEO)

2009-08-18T22:19:18Z

(AP) NEW YORK -- What would a President Spears administration be like? Apparently, very tasty.

Britney Spears appeared on David Letterman's "Late Show" on Tuesday to deliver a Top Ten list of ways the country would be different if she were president.

"Free pie for everybody," Spears declared.

For No. 10 on the list, Spears said she'd be "the first president since Nixon to wear eye shadow."

The pop star appeared eager to show off her buff new body. She delivered the list in a bikini.

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Old Letterman Trumps New Conan

2009-08-13T17:30:53Z

Dave beat Conan last week, even though 'The Late Show' was in repeats.

Read more: The Late Show, Home News

Old Letterman Trumps New Conan

2009-08-13T17:30:52Z

Dave beat Conan last week, even though 'The Late Show' was in repeats.

Read more: The Late Show, Home News

Betty White: I Have A Thing For Naughty Men In Cages (VIDEO)

2009-08-12T09:17:25Z

Betty White appeared on last night's episode of the "Late Late Show" in her new capacity as a prison guard for the San Quentin correctional facility. She told Craig that she had to take the job after spending her entire life savings in a Vegas strip club, and chose this vocation because of the naughty men in cages. She also revealed that carrying a gun is nothing new to her after her stint on the "Golden Girls."

Betty is no stranger to the "Late Late Show." She has appeared while holding a briefcase full of cocaine, while calling Sarah Palin a crazy bitch,
while dressed as a Girl Scout, and while talking about having sex with all the Marx Brothers on Craig's set. In short, Betty White is as freaky as she is awesome.

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Jay Leno Defends Conan's Ratings Troubles: "Exact Same Thing I Went Through" (VIDEO)

2009-08-11T17:05:53Z

Jay Leno defended his "Tonight Show"successor in an interview with Tavis Smiley Monday.

Leno said that the attention to Conan O'Brien's ratings woes is "the exact same thing I went through when I took over from Johnny [Carson]."

"Whoever has the job goes through this," Leno said. "It's all part of the growing pains. [Ratings go] down for a while and then [they come] back up again. And I don't think it's fair to judge Conan on what's happened in a month or two....I got beat up for four or five months, and you still go out with your chin up, fight the good fight."

Since taking over from Leno, Conan has seen the "Tonight Show" ratings go from first in the late night ratings to third, behind both CBS' "Late Show with David Letterman" and ABC's "Nightline."

"Conan was number one for 17 years in a row in his spot," Leno said. "OK, he moves to another spot, it takes a while to find yourself, and that's what hes going through.

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Wolf Blitzer And Craig Ferguson Talk Body Hair, "Dancing With The Stars" And Mustaches (VIDEO)

2009-08-06T16:02:38Z

Wolf Blitzer sat down with Craig Ferguson of CBS's "The Late Late Show" for a wide-ranging, irreverent interview.

The normally-serious Blitzer appeared more at-ease than usual, joking with Ferguson about topics like his love for the Black Eyed Peas, Bill Clinton's "happy ending" to the Laura Ling/ Euna Lee story and Paul McCartney's "striking resemblance" to Angela Lansbury.

Blitzer even went so far as to suggest that they "get the band going a little bit" and dance. Unfortunately, Ferguson balked at the proposal.

WATCH WOLF DANCE ON "ELLEN"

Watch the full interview:

Daniel Bruno Sanz: Bad Dreams From My Grandfather

2009-08-05T12:06:09Z

A specter is haunting the United States: the specter of nuclear attack without nuclear war. Al-Qaeda, the Taliban and Iran, Pakistan and North Korea, capable state and shadowy non-state actors contemplate flattening an American city with a device smuggled into the United States at one hundred possible ports of entry. It would have no return address. The scenarios of holocaust are many and multiply with the advance of technology and the Information Age. What will this lead to?

1939 was an exciting year in both physics and science fiction. Uranium fission was discovered, fantastic novels and films by Orson Welles and H.G.Wells were popular and academic journals, newspapers and magazines openly discussed atomic energy. However, most American physicists were skeptical that atomic energy could actually be harnessed and there was no atomic research outside of obscure university laboratories. But Budapest born physicist Leo Szilard, a protégé of Einstein and recent arrival to the United States, knew Germany was dedicated to developing the bomb and was alarmed that the sale of uranium ore from Nazi occupied Czechoslovakia had been halted. He was deeply troubled by the prospect of a Nazi atomic bomb and the lack of American effort to match German research.

Unable to find U.S. government support and unable to convince Enrico Fermi of the need for atomic experiments, Szilard turned to his mentor Albert Einstein and convinced him to write a letter directly to President Roosevelt. The letter did not reach the President quickly nor did it have much effect until September 1, 1939, when Hitler invaded Poland and World War II in Europe began. FDR appointed a Uranium Committee with a budget of $6,000 to buy graphite and uranium for experiments Szilard proposed. The tiny budget reflected deep official skepticism about the project and was a handicap to research progress. The U.S. atomic project did not begin in earnest until December 6, 1941, just one day before the attack on Pearl Harbor and America's entry into WWII. The project was given the top-secret codename "Manhattan" in August 1942.

On July 26, 1945, ten weeks after Victory in Europe Day on May 9 and eight days after the world's first successful nuclear test at Alamogordo, New Mexico, the Potsdam Declaration was broadcast to Japan. It threatened "prompt and utter destruction" unless the Japanese Empire submitted to unconditional surrender. Emperor Hirohito agreed to the terms but the military faction of the Japanese Cabinet would not. There would be no surrender. On July 28, in the Asahi Shinbun newspaper, the Allied powers got their response. Prime Minister Suzuki Kantaro, a long time opponent of the war with the United States, had no choice but to declare mokusatsu: contemptuous silence.

President Truman immediately authorized the atomic bombing of Hiroshima for the morning of August 6, 1945 and his orders were carried out. Physics caught up with science fiction. Three days later, Fat Man fell on Nagasaki while the Red Army invaded Japanese Manchuria. Six days later, with the atomic bombing of Tokyo imminent, Emperor Hirohito delivered the Gyokuon-hoso announcing the capitulation of Japan. It was the first time that a Japanese emperor, regarded as a divinity by the Japanese, had ever communicated directly to the people of Japan and the first time the Japanese people had ever heard the Emperor's voice.

There was a time when the nuclear genie could be confined to a small room after it escaped from the bottle. It brought a rapid conclusion to the war in the Pacific and stability to Europe through mutual terror in the decades that followed. The brief United States monopoly on atomic weapons in the wake of unconditional surrender by Nazi Germany and Imperial Japan made American power unchallengeable. American intelligence services believed that the Soviets were at least fifteen years away from building their own bomb. Then on August 29 1949, the Chairman of the Special Atomic Committee in Moscow, spymaster Lavrentii Beria, telephoned Marshall Stalin to announce the success of the maiden Soviet nuclear bomb test at Semipalatinsk, in the remote Central Asian steppe of Kazakhstan S.S.R. Thanks to spies such as Klaus Fuchs and the Rosenbergs, the Soviet bomb project was years ahead of schedule and remained classified even after its first success. Not a single word of the test was mentioned anywhere in the Soviet press and the Soviet people knew nothing about it. Radiological analysis of residues from the atmosphere collected by the US Atomic Energy Detection System alerted the U.S. government to the bad news.

The nuclear arms race was on. What did it mean for the future? Would nuclear weapons make war obsolete or was the world doomed to destruction? Science fiction would have a field day grappling with this unprecedented question. But science fiction alone cannot provide the answer. The eternally unresolved themes of good and evil, the Creation and the End of Days affect the outcome as much as technological prowess, even more so.

Multi-talented Jewish-American radio playwright Arch Oboler (1907-1987), a giant from the Golden Age of Radio, accepted the challenge. Best known as the writer/director/host/producer of NBC Radio's Lights Out (1936-1939, 1942-1943), and producer/director of "Arch Oboler's Plays" on NBC Radio (1939-1940) and Mutual Radio (1945), Oboler was also a screenwriter, novelist, producer and director who was active in film, theatre and television. He was a master of the theatre of the mind genre and garnered critical acclaim for his radio scripts. He earned the public's respect as one of the innovators of radio drama. Now has task was to convey his vision of doomsday through motion pictures. For Oboler, there would be only five survivors after a nuclear war. Would they reject the errors of the past and band together as one to rebuild humanity anew?

The concept for the historic 1951 science fiction movie Five was in part inspired by his earlier radio play The Word, in which a newlywed couple awaken to find they are the only people left in a deserted New York City after the population mysteriously vanishes. In 1950 he staged the independent production of Five in the badlands around his own Frank Lloyd Wright designed home at 32436 Mulholland Highway in Malibu, California. The results have an outsider-indie look that impressed François Truffaut, a young critic for Les Cahiers du Cinéma that may have influenced him when he made his own dystopian fantasy, Fahrenheit 451. The allegorical relationships and scenario of Five may have also influenced the 1954 bestseller Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Rod Serling may have had the ending of Five in mind in 1962 when he presented a Twilight Zone episode with Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery in a similarly themed post-war Adam and Eve allegory.

Five opened in the United States on April 25 1951, in Finland on October 26 as Viimeiset Viisi, Los Ultimos Cinco in Mexico, Anni Perduti in Italy and Cinq Survivants in France. With each passing day, Five was more and more relevant to current affairs. A bloody new war in Korea raged, albeit indirectly, between the two nuclear powers. Mao sent Communist Chinese troops to the aid of North Korea and U.S. General Macarthur spoke openly about using atomic bombs on China to break the stalemate. Stalin told his advisors that WWIII was inevitable. A ceasefire was declared quickly after his death in March 1953 but to this day a state of war exists on the peninsula. Now it is the world's and especially Obama's unresolved Cold War Era problem.

Five was the first American movie to advertise its premiere on television and the first to use a magnetic film system to record live sound on the set. It was a modest financial success, earning 49th place in Variety Magazine's top fifty most profitable movies for 1951. It haunted late, late show television in the sixties and seventies and in 2009 was given new life by Sony's Martini Movies series as 5ive on DVD.

Five is the first post nuclear apocalyptic survival film -- a genre spawned by Hiroshima, then popularized during the Cold War by On the Beach, The Day the World Ended, The World, The Flesh and the Devil and Last Woman on Earth. The theme was revisited on television during the Nuclear Freeze Movement and Reagan years in The Day After (1984). It set the template for post atomic melodramas. While not a science fiction melodrama, the PBS TV series Cosmos, written by Carl Sagan in 1980, dealt explicitly with the affects of nuclear war and the urgent need to prevent it. The series had a profound impact on me as a young man. I will always remember this line from Sagan's monologue: "We know who speaks for nations. But who speaks for Earth?" Perhaps it was Oboler.

Five is a 90-minute science fiction horror movie that deals with a very complex topic in a short time frame and is more poetic allegory than precise documentary. Imagination is required to understand it. Judeo-Christian cosmology abounds: the film opens with footage of American nuclear bomb tests in the Pacific, blackened skies over New York, London and Moscow, and a quote from Psalm 103:16: "The (deadly) wind passeth over it, And it is gone: And the place thereof Shall know it no more...".

The Spartan storyline follows a handful of people marooned in the aftermath of an
atomic exchange. The survivors find their way to an isolated cabin on a lonely
landscape. Michael (William Phipps), the sole survivor from the city of New York, attends to the practical matters of gathering food. Roseann (Susan Douglas), her life spared by the protective cover of an X-ray lab when the bomb struck, awaits the birth of her child and agonizes over the unknown fate of her husband. Mr. Barnstaple (Earl Lee) is an old-fashioned banker thrust into a world where money no longer has value. Helping him is his African-American Man Friday, a sharp WW II veteran named Charles (Charles Lampkin). Both men were in a bank vault when a bomb fell on their city that wiped everyone else out immediately. Alas, Barnstaple quickly succumbs to lingering radiation poisoning after the four characters find each other and form a community near the ocean. Just as the elderly banker passes away, the fifth character, Eric, (James Anderson) washes up on shore nearly dead after trekking across the world looking for other survivors, which he could not find. Michael and Charles save his life and nurse him to health on the beach. Then the movie's leitmotif takes off.

Eric is the embodiment of unrepentant European fascism. He represents Nietzsche's Wille Zur Macht (Will To Power). Michael and Charles are Schopenhauer's Will To Live. The conflict between these forces forms the tension around which everything else in the film revolves. Today's film critics, too young to remember the 1940s, describe Eric as a mountaineer and attribute his diabolical character to personal failings. Eric, with a thick but untraceable accent and Hitler haircut, was busy conquering Mt. Everest when the bombs started falling on the world's cities. He deludes himself into believing that he has not succumbed to radiation sickness because of some kind of inborn immunity, i.e. invincibility. As avaricious and wicked as the Third Reich, he ruins everything within his reach, including the corn Charles assiduously planted for all of them to eat. Just as Germany's thousand-year Reich imploded with Hitler as a man and an ideology immolated, Eric's notions of genetic superiority underscore his reckless forays to mindlessly loot the poisoned city further inland. As a result, he dies of radiation sickness. He's no superman after all and his kind will not reproduce with Roseann.

Charles Lampkin (1913-1989) as Charles is so far ahead of his time that he deserves comparison with Will Smith in I am Legend (2007). In an era when Colored men were chronically stereotyped as racial inferiors in American cinema: chicken-stealing Coons, crap-shooting Sambos, dangerous Bucks (today's urban predators and gangsta rappers), groveling, lazy, bewildered Toms (today's homeless Black men), stammering, good-for-nothing Stepin Fetchits (Stepin Fetchit was the first Colored "actor" to become a millionaire pretending to be a buffoon), dimwitted Amos 'n Andies and Eat 'n Sleeps... Charles turns all the degrading Hollywood stereotypes on their head. The movie no doubt disturbed American audiences for more reasons than one, not all of them benign.

A native of Montgomery, Alabama, Lampkin composed poetry and music and was a pioneer of Spoken Word in the 1930s. In the 1940s he had his own radio program in Los Angeles and was discovered by Arch Oboler, who invited him to join the cast of Five. In what would be the biggest coup of his life, Lampkin introduced Oboler to The Creation by James Weldon Johnson, composer of the spiritual Lift Every Voice and Sing and convinced Oboler to include excerpts of it in the script. It would become Lampkin's soliloquy and one of the most memorable moments of the film. As a result, audiences across the United States and worldwide were introduced to African-American poetry without even knowing it. The Creation is based on the story of Genesis.

Charles looks out at the dark sky over the ocean and, in an allusion to the effects of nuclear explosions on the atmosphere, says, "it's like it never was before." As a vibraphone plays a a disturbing melody in the background, Charles recites these lines from The Creation:

And God stepped out on space,
And He looked around and said,
"I'm lonely--
I'll make me a world."

Then God smiled,
And the light broke,
And the darkness rolled up on one side,
And the light stood shining on the other,
And God said, "That's good!"

Then God reached out and took the light in His hands,
And God rolled the light around in His hands
Until He made the sun;
And He set that sun a-blazing in the heavens.
And the light that was left from making the sun
God gathered it up in a shining ball
And flung it against the darkness,
Spangling the night with the moon and stars.
Then down between
The darkness and the light
He hurled the world;
And God said, "That's good!"

Then the green grass sprouted,
(And) The pine tree pointed his finger to the sky,
And the oak spread out his arms,
The lakes cuddled down in the hollows of the ground,
And the rivers ran down to the sea;

Up from the bed of the river
God scooped the clay;
And by the bank of the river
He kneeled Him down;
And there the great God Almighty
Who lit the sun and fixed it in the sky,
Who flung the stars to the most far corner of the night,
Who rounded the earth in the middle of His hand;
This Great God,
Like a mammy bending over her baby,
Kneeled down in the dust
Toiling over a lump of clay
Till He shaped it in His own image;

Then into it He blew the breath of life,
And man became a living soul.
Amen. Amen.

The movie concludes with Michael and Roseann as the two lone survivors, Adam and Eve-like. Revelations: 21 flashes across the screen: "And I saw a new heaven... And a new earth... And there shall be no more death. No more sorrow... No more tears... Behold! I make all things new!"

I would be remiss if I did not admit that I have more than an academic interest in this obscure film and my motive for writing about it transcends the humanitarian.

The late Charles Lampkin is my grandfather.

May his bad dreams never become our reality.

Bad Dreams From My Grandfather forms part of Obama 2012, a collection of essays and commentary to be published in 2009.

Taylor Haiduk Wins Jimmy Fallon's Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest (VIDEO)

2009-08-04T12:58:37Z

Last night Long Island's own Taylor Haiduk spat her way to victory in the Late Show with Jimmy Fallon's "1st Annual Watermelon Seed Spitting Invitational & Championship."

Check out the videos below for all the seed-spittin' action!